Here are 5 things that will happen when you are waiting for someone and this person is actually the person God has for you to marry one day.
1. When You Are Waiting for the Right One, Your Waiting Will Be Producing Positive Things in Your Life
Anytime you have a question about something in your life and you are wondering what God is saying about it, it’s always helpful to remember the biblical principles, “You shall know them by their fruit.” This principle comes from Matthew 7:15-20 when Jesus was warning us about false prophets. If you want to identify a true or false prophet, you have to look beyond their words and actually look at the actions and fruit they are producing in their personal life.
But it’s helpful to take this principle about “knowing them by their fruit” and applying it to other areas of life too, like in relationships. When God is leading you to do something, like wait for a specific person you want to marry one day, this action will always produce positive things in your life (Galatians 5:22-24). If the waiting is hurting your heart and thus producing bad things (Galatians 5:19-21), you are not waiting for the right person God wants you to wait for.
2. When You Are Waiting for the Right One, God Will Have Granted You Clear Confirmation that Goes Beyond and Inner Hunch
You should feel God’s personal leading in your heart if he is actually telling you to wait for someone. But we also have to be humble enough to know that we can certainly mishear God and we can assume God is saying this to us because that is what we really want God to say.
While the Holy Spirit will give you an inner peace in your heart when he is telling you to do something like wait for someone, God will also confirm his will for you in many other ways besides inner feelings. If the word of God and the external circumstances around you are contradicting what you feel God is saying, this means you are mishearing God.
For example, if you are waiting for someone who doesn’t have biblical qualities that are needed to thrive in marriage, it’s unlikely God is telling you to wait for this person because throughout the Bible we are called to assess people for how they are living right now and not for how they might live one day if they are transformed into a different person (1 Corinthians 5:12). Or if you are waiting for someone who has shown you with their words and actions that they are not interested in you like you are in them, this external evidence would mean you are most likely mishearing God telling you to wait for this person.
God will grant you clear confirmation that goes beyond an inner hunch when he is truly telling you to wait for someone that he will put you with one day (John 17:17).
3. When You Are Waiting for the Right One, Your Waiting Will Be Drawing You Two Closer to Each Other Rather Than Further Apart
What effect is this waiting having on your connection with this person? Sometimes a man and woman need time in friendship before they are comfortable enough to begin dating. If you rush the friendship, oftentimes dating will not work out. So in a situation like this, waiting would be helpful.
On the other hand, sometimes you can wait too long. Sometimes people are ready to be in a relationship right now. Perhaps they are getting older and they aren’t looking for a friend of the opposite sex. They are looking for a boyfriend or girlfriend who can then become their spouse one day. If you wait in a in a situation like this, this person will probably move on because you are taking too long.
If the goal is to become one flesh one day in marriage, it makes sense that relationships are formed when a man and woman’s heart are drawing closer to each other, not further apart (Genesis 2:24). When God is telling you to wait for someone, there will be a good reason for the waiting and the waiting will actually be helping your connection with each other and not hurting it.
4. When You Are Waiting for the Right One, They Will Be Waiting for You Too
Certainly there are instances where one person will know they want to be with the other person before that person also has mutual interest. One person can instantly like one person while the other person may take time to have those romantic feelings. This is one reason God may be leading you to wait for someone. That person may need time before their feelings will grow for you.
But if this person is moving on with someone else, it’s unwise to wait for them. Granted, if they are in a relationship and it doesn’t seem like it’s going to last, there’s nothing wrong with waiting to see what might happen. But generally speaking, if you are waiting for someone who is not waiting for you and they are dating around and not showing any signs of interest in you, this is not a good sign that God is actually telling you to wait for them (Ephesians 5:16-17).
Wait a few months if you are unsure, but if there is no evidence of this person waiting for you, it’s time to move on.
5. When You Are Waiting for the Right One, the Waiting Will End After a Healthy Time Period and You Two Will Actually Become a Couple
This question about knowing if you are waiting for someone that God wants you to wait for is a difficult question to answer. Ultimately you will only know for sure if you are waiting for the right person if you two actually end up together one day.
Sometimes God will tell you to wait for someone so that he can show you that they are not the right person for you. It’s important to keep listening to God if you sense him telling you to wait for someone because if he does tell you to wait, that doesn’t mean he’s telling you to wait forever. Perhaps he will lead you to wait a few weeks or a few months so you can have the confirmation that you tried and did not miss something God had for you if only you waited.
If waiting for a healthy amount of time is not producing a growing connection, this fact is probably not going to change by waiting longer.
If God is really telling you to wait for someone, you two will eventually get close enough to actually start a relationship one day (Deuteronomy 18:22).