5 Things You Will NOT See When a Man Was Sent to You By God

How will you really know when a man was sent to you by God? After all, plenty of women thought a guy was from the Lord, only to find out he was a terrible match for her. Also, as we all know, sometimes we can trick ourselves into hearing what we want to hear.

While it’s important to know what you should see, today I will give you 5 things you should not see when a man is truly sent by God. And all of these points will come from Genesis 24, which contains the story of Isaac and Rebekah.

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1. When a Man Was Sent By God, You Will Not See a Passive Guy Doing Nothing to Be with You

One of the core differences between the masculine and feminine roles in a relationship is that the man is meant to be the pursuer. Even with Adam, before God put him to sleep and sent Eve, he was first searching for a partner among the animals, “but for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him” (Genesis 2:20).

Likewise, Genesis 24 starts with men actively searching for Isaac’s wife. In this specific case, Abraham sent a servant (Genesis 24:1-4). But the principle for us is that Rebekah did not need to find Isaac. Rather, Isaac needed to find her.

If a man is apathetic towards you or needs constant encouragement that you like him, he’s not spiritually ready to be in a relationship.

2. When a Man Was Sent By God, You Will Not See a Guy Who Ignores the Woman’s Responses to Him

Now, don’t overapply the principle outlined in point 1. I’m not saying a woman shouldn’t do anything to be found. I’m simply saying she shouldn’t pursue a man. When you hear the words “a man sent by God,” you may imagine a woman just sitting and waiting. However, this is never the pattern for anything God gives.

It was right of us to start with the man’s need to be proactive in the pursuit of a woman. However, many women overapply what Scripture says about the man pursuing because deep down they have so many fears of doing something wrong, they want to feel free to be passive. While much has been said in the church about male passivity, little is often mentioned about female passivity.

But let’s really look at what Rebekah did in Genesis 24. First, she was out in the world to actually be found. The servant did not knock on her door, asking if she would like to marry Isaac. Rebekah had a job, and she was in public places so that a man could see her (Genesis 24:15). Ruth did the same. Boaz didn’t ask her to work in his field. She showed up and asked if she could work there (Ruth 2:3, 7).

Thus, when a man is sent by God, you will be somewhere where he can find you. Even more specifically, you will be in places that make sense for a Christian woman to be found. A godly man will be searching for a wife. And he will be searching in places he would expect to find a godly woman.

Next, notice that Rebekah responded very positively once the servant made contact with her. In Genesis 24:14, the servant prayed to God, “Let the young woman to whom I shall say, ‘Please let down your jar that I may drink,’ and who shall say, ‘Drink, and I will water your camels’—let her be the one whom you have appointed for your servant Isaac.” In other words, while the man initiated, he was looking for a sign that was rooted in the woman’s positive response.

Likewise, many women are approached by guys, but they are so neutral in their responses that the guy has no idea whether they like him or not. For a man to keep pursuing a woman, he needs positive reinforcement that she wants him to keep pursuing her.

3. When a Man Was Sent By God, You Will Not See a Guy Who Is Making Every Decision for You

I’ve noticed a pattern with many Christian women. They often interpret God’s will through the man’s actions. For example, they may pray, “Lord, if you want me with this man, I pray that he would ask me out on a date.” Or they might pray the opposite, “Lord, if you don’t want me with this man, I pray that he would just leave me and not talk to me anymore.” While these are not bad prayers, they do make it very easy to misinterpret God’s will because these types of signs are rooted in a man’s free will.

In other words, this man could just be pursuing you because he wants to and not because God wants him to. His pursuit is not a clear sign from God that you are getting the green light. Additionally, if you know a man is not good for you, it’s your job to reject him. It’s not healthy to expect God to only speak to you through this man’s actions.

Notice how involved Rebekah was in the decision to be with Isaac. In Genesis 24:57-58, it states, “They said, ‘Let us call the young woman and ask her.’ And they called Rebekah and said to her, ‘Will you go with this man?’ She said, ‘I will go.’” Notice that she didn’t say, “Well, if you want me to go, I will go.” She took responsibility for her life and relationships and made the choice for herself.

So when God sends a man to you, that man will pursue you and want you to choose him. But don’t expect that man to take away all your doubts. Rather, you must go to the Lord for the confirmation you need so you can truly know whether this man is right for you.

As Proverbs 16:3 states, “Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established.”

4. When a Man Was Sent to You By God, You Will NOT See Godly People Opposing This Relationship

Genesis 24:50-51 states, “Then Laban and Bethuel answered and said, ‘The thing has come from the Lord; we cannot speak to you bad or good. Behold, Rebekah is before you; take her and go, and let her be the wife of your master’s son, as the Lord has spoken.”

Likewise, when God sends a man to you, you won’t be the only person who recognizes him. Other people will be blessed by this relationship, too. And other people who love you both will be able to confirm that this is a biblical match.

Thus, if all the godly people in your life are concerned and warning you both, this is not a good sign. Rather, when a man was sent by God, you will not see a lot of concerned faces looking back at you.

5. When a Man Was Sent to You By God, You Will Not Feel a Reluctance to Follow Him

This man’s love for you will make you want to follow him. Genesis 24:67, “Then Isaac brought her into the tent of Sarah his mother and took Rebekah, and she became his wife, and he loved her.”

Scripture is clear that a wife is called to submit to her husband. However, what is often overlooked is that this is always a call to the woman. In the Bible, a man is never told to make a woman submit.

Though God had chosen Rebekah for Isaac (Genesis 24:14), this passage also highlights how Rebekah freely chose to be Isaac’s wife with her own free will because she wanted to be with him (Genesis 24:58).

Therefore, when you meet the man God wants you with, you should feel a desire inside of you that wants to follow him.

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