Why is God allowing it to be so hard to meet someone?
Perhaps you’ve been regularly attending church, you’ve been trying to volunteer more, or maybe you’ve even dabbled with online dating. But for some reason, it’s still extremely challenging to find any romantic opportunities as a Christian single person?
Here are 4 possible reasons for why God may allow you to struggle even though you wish you could be in a relationship.
1. It Could Be Very Hard to Meet Someone Right Now Because God Is Protecting You from Needless Heartbreak and Is Saving You for “The One”
Does it feel like God is hiding you so you can’t get into a relationship? Perhaps he is. While you might think God is being cruel by keeping you out of a relationship right now, if God is actually doing this, you can be confident this is a kindness to you.
Psalm 32:7, “You are a hiding place for me; you preserve me from trouble; you surround me with shouts of deliverance.”
So many people have looked back on their past relationship mistakes and wish that they would have stayed hidden. Sometimes God is trying to keep us out of a relationship because he knows the person he has for us is much further down the line, thus there is no point to waste time and get hurt in relationships that will not result in marriage. If we try hard enough, however, sometimes God will remove his protection and let us experience the pain he was trying to spare us from.
Thus, it can help to stop focusing so much on the good that is not happening and start focusing more on the bad that is not happening. God will probably give you a spouse someday. In the meantime, you can praise Jesus that you are not in a dysfunctional relationship that will end in heartbreak.
2. It Could Be Very Hard to Meet Someone Because God Doesn’t Give Us the Circumstances for Our Strength but Rather He Gives Us the Strength Needed for Our Circumstances
If we were to write our own stories, very often we would choose a safe, predictable, and boring path. But who would read a story like that? God is writing our story in such a way that he will receive maximum glory. If he is making you wait for a spouse, he’s doing this for an important reason.
Thus, instead of giving his people circumstances that they can handle in their own power, he gives us circumstances that will require us to need his power (2 Corinthians 12:7-10).
Isaiah 41:10, “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
3. It Could Be Very Hard to Meet Someone Right Now Because Your Lifestyle Is Not Conducive to Connecting with Another Christian of the Opposite Gender
As I often say, the points I mention are not statements or prophetic promises about you as an individual. Rather, if the details in the “signs” mentioned don’t relate to you, then you can move on to the next one. Thus, I’m not saying all people who are single are simply not trying hard enough to be social.
Rather, I’m saying that this could be the issue for some people. For people to connect, they need a reason, a bridge that links them. This is why “trying to meet someone” so often doesn’t work. Rather than putting in effort to “try to meet someone,” it is more effective to live a life where you will naturally be meeting people and making connections over your shared interests that you are mutually pursuing.
You must have the habit of interacting in a community rather than seeing this as a specific action you choose to do now and then. It must be a lifestyle, not an event. Instead of thinking meeting someone is about effort “or” waiting, it’s wiser to think of it as effort “and” waiting.
It’s similar to being a witness and evangelizing. Sure, it can be helpful to specifically go out one day and try to evangelize someone you meet on the street. But the normal pattern in Scripture is that you let your light shine at all times and throughout your life God will open doors for you to be a witness as you naturally interact with the world (Matthew 5:14-16).
Thus, if your lifestyle is one where you need to go to an event to meet other singles, the issue might be your lifestyle. It’s not wrong to try individual events or specific efforts to meet someone; but ideally, you want to live your life around other people so that you can naturally pair off with the right person who is living life like you.
4. It Could Be Very Hard to Meet Someone Right Now Because This Struggle Is What Will Lead You to Your Future Spouse
Sometimes the problem you thought was blocking you from the blessing becomes the path God uses to produce the blessing (John 11:14-15). In other words, the struggle you are having to meet someone could be an important variable God will use to help you meet the right person.
Perhaps the long wait finally gets so frustrating that you gain the motivation to do the proactive thing you sense the Lord leading you to do. Or perhaps the long wait will be used to produce a patience in your heart that will be essential in your future marriage.
The possibilities are endless. Trust the Lord. He can produce his will in ways that you can never imagine (Ephesians 3:20-21).
