Here are five signs God is saying, “Choose to be single rather than settle.”
- If You Believe the Lie that Having Anyone Is Better than No One, God Is Telling You to Choose Singleness Over Settling
The pain of being alone can feel like the worst thing ever. But it’s not! While it might be hard to believe, it is actually far worse to be with the wrong person compared to just being alone.
Many people settle for a relationship out of the fear of loneliness. But fear-based decisions always lead to pain. If your main motivation for dating someone is simply to avoid being alone, that’s not love; it’s desperation.
Psalm 27:14 says, “Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!” It takes strength to trust that his timing is perfect, even when it feels like everyone else is moving forward without you.
When you stop believing the lie that “someone is better than no one,” you make room for the truth that God’s plan is better than anything you could settle for.
- If You Are Staying with a Toxic Person Because You Think That’s All You Deserve, God Is Telling You to Choose Singleness Over Settling
Whether it be from childhood trauma or lies from a previous relationship, many people have come to believe the lie that they are not worthy of being in a healthy relationship. Some people know their partner is toxic, but they stay because they believe they can only attract toxic people. But God never wants you to accept emotional abuse, manipulation, or disrespect just because you fear you won’t find anything else.
Psalm 139:14 says, “I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” When you truly believe that, you stop tolerating what dishonors the image of God in you. A toxic relationship isn’t just emotionally damaging—it’s an assault against God himself.
God loves you. He doesn’t want you to settle for someone who disrespects you.
- If You Would Need to Force Yourself to Be with Someone Rather Than Really Wanting This Relationship, God Is Telling You to Choose Singleness Over Settling
Real love always involves sacrifice. But biblically, a love-based sacrifice is done joyfully. This doesn’t mean you always want to endure the pain, but it does mean you love that person enough to choose to endure that pain (Hebrews 12:2).
Thus, when it comes to dating to find a spouse, you should really want to be with the person you are with. If you are unhappy about the sacrifices needed to make the relationship work and you would prefer to be alone rather than do what is needed to be with this person, that is a good sign that God does not want you with this person.
If you have to convince yourself daily that this is the right person, it’s probably not. Love built on obligation instead of genuine connection will always crumble under pressure.
2 Corinthians 9:7 reminds us, “Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.”
- If You Keep Trying to Make a Relationship Work That God Keeps Closing the Door On, God Is Telling You to Choose Singleness Over Settling
Sometimes you need to fight through hurdles so you and your future spouse can be together. However, when God actually wants you with someone, the energy you are putting in will result in progress, healing, and moving forward. If you keep trying to make it work but it always ends in disaster, it’s not bad luck; it’s divine intervention.
Revelation 3:7 (NIV) says, “What he opens no one can shut, and what he shuts no one can open.” While this verse isn’t directly about relationships, it’s not hard to see how the principle applies. When God closes a relationship door, he’s not being cruel. He’s actually being kind. He knows that if you walked through it, you’d miss something far better he has prepared for you in the future.
You may be tempted to reopen what God has closed, especially if you still have feelings for someone. But peace is never produced through disobedience. God’s will is confirmed through clarity, not constant chaos.
- If You Want to Be Married Without Wasting Time with People Who Will Just Wound You, God Is Telling You to Choose Singleness Over Settling
The fastest way to find your future spouse is to avoid wasting time with the people you already know are not your future spouse. The more you dabble in dating, the longer you delay your future marriage.
If you are someone who wants to honor the Lord in marriage one day rather than just having fleeting fun in dating, then you should always choose singleness over settling. By choosing to be single rather than settling, you are actually increasing the speed at which you will meet the person God has for you.
Proverbs 19:2 says, “Desire without knowledge is not good, and whoever makes haste with his feet misses his way.” In other words, impatience in relationships can cause you to miss God’s best.
If you’re serious about marriage, it’s okay to be selective. It’s okay to take your time. It’s okay to say “no” to people who don’t share your purpose or your spiritual maturity. Waiting may feel like you’re losing time, but in reality, it’s saving you from years of unnecessary pain.
Here’s a related article called 5 Thoughts Satan Is Using to Keep You Unmarried.
