In most cases, a woman doesn’t end up in a terrible marriage by accident. Yes, there are certainly situations where a woman was genuinely deceived by a highly manipulative man. But more often than not, when a woman looks back and wonders, “How did I end up in this terrible marriage?” the warning signs were there all along.
The problem is usually not that Satan hid the truth. The problem is that he distracted her from it. Proverbs 14:12 says, “There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death.”
If you’re a single Christian woman, you don’t have to walk blindly into heartbreak. God gives discernment. And if you pay attention, he will often expose what needs to be seen before vows are ever spoken.
Therefore, here are 5 marks of a man Satan may be using to trap you in a terrible marriage.
And if you haven’t heard, enrollment for AGW University is open until July 1st. This is where I offer my most in-depth biblical training for Christian singles who want to glorify the Lord in marriage one day. These courses are designed to help you heal, mature, and meet the right person.
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1. The Man Who Treats You Well but Treats Everyone Else Poorly
At first, this can feel flattering. When a man who’s rough around the edges treats you tenderly, it can feel like the masculine protecting the feminine. But a true godly man doesn’t pick and choose when to be godly. While he will treat the woman he’s pursuing differently, this doesn’t mean he’s allowed to be a jerk to everyone else.
When you notice that he’s rude to waiters, disrespectful to his parents, harsh with strangers, or constantly critical of people behind their backs, that’s a warning sign that he will treat you like that one day, too.
Luke 6:45 says, “Out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.” A man can fake affection for a season, especially when he’s trying to win you. But he can’t fake his heart forever.
Many women marry a man thinking, “He’s different with me.” Maybe for now. But marriage removes masks.
2. The Man You Know Is Pretending to Be a Christian
This one is dangerous because often deep down, you already know the truth that you will come to accept after it’s too late if you do marry him. You know you have to marry a Christian because you are a Christian (1 Corinthians 7:39). But deep down, you sense this man is only saying he’s a Christian, but he lacks any real biblical fruit that would be the evidence of a true conversion. Since he’s saying the right things, however, you ignore that nagging voice in your heart saying, “You know he’s faking it.”
Paul warned about this in 2 Timothy 4:3: “For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions.” Sometimes the itching ears aren’t just for false teachers. Sometimes they’re for false lovers.
Don’t let your desire for marriage make you vulnerable to spiritual counterfeits. Jesus said in Matthew 7:16, “You will recognize them by their fruits.” A real Christian man will not be perfect, but there will be real evidence of repentance, obedience, and love for Christ.
3. The Man Who Makes You Feel Elevated in the Eyes of Other Women
He’s attractive. Successful. Respected. Maybe he comes from a great family, has a high income, or has the kind of social status that makes other women envious.
And if you’re honest, part of the attraction is how being with him makes you feel because other women are jealous of what you have.
Sadly, if you give in to this temptation, you will end up being one of those couples that implode one day, and everyone then says, “Wow, I didn’t see that coming. They seemed so perfect.”
Never build your life on appearances. Always build it on truth! 1 Samuel 16:7 says, “For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”
Satan loves to bait women with external advantages while hiding internal rot. A man’s money can’t make him mature. His looks can’t make him loving. His status can’t make him sacrificial. And his family name can’t make him faithful.
When the kids are sick, when money is tight, when suffering comes – what matters then is not whether other women wanted him. What matters is whether he has the character to love you like Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:25).
4. The “Love Hard, Fight Hard” Relationship
Some relationships are fueled by chaos.
The highs are intoxicating. But the lows are brutal. There’s a vicious cycle of fighting hard and then making up in dramatic ways. Mean words, yelling, slamming doors, tears, telling everyone how bad the other person is . . . and then comes the makeup. The relationship constantly feels like it’s on fire. Sometimes the fire feels like romantic passion. At other times, it feels like a housefire that’s out of control. And the cycle repeats.
Many confuse this emotional rollercoaster with deep love. In reality, however, it’s often just deep dysfunction.
Marriage cannot thrive in constant disorder. Yes, conflict is normal. Every couple will disagree. But there’s a major difference between healthy conflict and toxic instability.
A godly relationship should have peace as its foundation. Not perfection. Peace. 1 Corinthians 14:33 says, “For God is not a God of confusion but of peace.”
5. The Man Who Loves You More Than He Loves Jesus
He’s obsessed with you. Always texting. Always prioritizing you. He says things like, “You’re my everything.” That may sound sweet, but biblically, it’s dangerous.
You should never want to be a man’s god. Because whatever he worships, he will eventually resent when it fails him. And you will fail him. Only Jesus never fails!
In John 15:5, Jesus said, “I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.” The man who loves Jesus more than you will actually love you better than the man who makes you his god.
Without Christ, we can do nothing!
And don’t forget, if you’re a Christian single person who wants to do a deep Bible study that will prepare you to meet, date, and marry the person God may have for you, then AGW University is for you!
I’m not promising you a marriage if you enroll. But I am promising you a life-changing experience that will give you the tools to get different results in the area of relationships.
If you’re curious and you want to know what this is all about, click here! You can check out all the course topics before enrolling to make sure this is a good fit for you. And if you enroll before the July 1st deadline, there’s a big scholarship available.
Click here to visit AGW University!
