Every woman is different, so there is no single formula that guarantees how a woman will know a man is “the one” she should marry someday. Some women feel it quickly, others slowly. Some are more emotional, others are more analytical.
However, while the process varies, there are common patterns that show up again and again when a godly woman begins to recognize that a man is not just someone she likes—but someone she could faithfully follow into marriage.
Below are seven of the most common ways a woman comes to know he’s “the one.”
1. A Woman Knows He’s the One When Her Intuition Is Giving Her the Green Light
While men tend to lead with logic, women often lead with intuition. This is different than saying women lead with their emotions. While women definitely give more decision-making power to their feelings, when it comes to their relationship decisions, they don’t rely solely on their emotions. This is why I think the word “intuition” fits better.
Intuition is an internal sense of what is right and wrong that appears within your consciousness without you intentionally thinking, planning, or debating the facts. But where does it come from? Unlike logic, where you look at the facts, analyze, and deliberate until you come up with what you think is correct, intuition occurs because of your brain’s ability to map past experiences, recognize current trends, and then instantly form the right physical indicators in your body to either signal safety or danger. The feeling of “this is right” or “this is wrong” becomes conscience, but the process that helped form that feeling occurred subconsciously through intuition.
Women tend to store things “in the heart” more than they do “in the mind.” Notice what it says of Mary in Luke 2:19, “But Mary treasured up all these things, pondering them in her heart.” When a woman has stored up past experiences in her heart along with biblical insights, her intuition gives her the ability to sense when something is good or bad for her.
As men, you might struggle to see how this is anything other than a woman going on her feelings and not using logic. But we use intuition too. For example, think of how you feel as a man when a stranger is approaching you on the street. Some people make us feel at risk and we get guarded, while others don’t make us feel threatened at all. Why is that? Neither is talking; we don’t know anything about either one, and yet, somehow, they are projecting different things to us. The subtle triggers of eye contact, body movement, and other little factors can’t be logically analyzed fast enough. However, our brains have the ability to use our past experiences to form instant conclusions, oftentimes with remarkable correctness.
Women tend to rely on this intuitive form of “knowing” far more than men do when it comes to relationships. For a woman to really know a man is the guy she wants to marry one day, it’s not enough for her to have all the facts. Rather, her internal intuition needs to give her the green light.
2. A Woman Knows He’s The One When She Feels a Combination of Emotional Excitement and Emotional Safety
Immature women get hooked on the wrong guys because these men are very exciting. Because these men don’t follow the traditional customs of how to interact with a woman, this stimulates the woman’s feelings because it’s different. Novelty creates stimulation and intrigue. This is one of the reasons so many women fall for the “bad boy” type of guy, especially early in their lives.
And yet, women rarely want to marry this type of guy because deep down, they also know a bad boy is unsafe. They want to be cared for, protected, and not abused. So while they may be attracted to the bad boys, they won’t fall in love with them.
A godly woman, therefore, will reject a man for at least two reasons. First, she will reject him if he makes her feel unsafe. Next, however, she will reject him if she finds him boring and predictable. Thus, she will know she has found the man she wants to marry when she meets a man who not only excites her emotionally but is also trustworthy and committed, which makes her feel emotionally safe, too.
Song of Solomon 2:3 says “As an apple tree among the trees of the forest, so is my beloved among the young men. With great delight I sat in his shadow, and his fruit was sweet to my taste.” There is emotional excitement here: “His fruit was sweet to my taste.” This reflects desire, attraction, and joy. She delights in him. There is pleasure, eagerness, and affection. However, there is also emotional safety here, “With great delight I sat in his shadow.” Shadow implies covering, protection, rest, and safety. She feels secure enough to rest in his presence.
3. A Woman Knows He’s The One When She Knows She Has Won His Trust
A woman doesn’t just want to be with a man that she can trust. She also wants to be with a man who can trust her. And this not only requires her to be trustworthy; it also requires her to find a man who is emotionally mature enough to be willing to trust a woman.
A godly woman knows that most men have been burned by worldly women in their past. Most men are not properly healed. They project past hurts onto women who have never hurt them. And so, when a godly woman meets a man who trusts her enough to open his heart to her, she knows she has found something precious and rare.
Proverbs 31:10-11 states, “An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.” While every man wants to be married to a woman like this, every woman wants to be married to a man who views her like this. When a man looks at a woman and makes her feel like a Proverbs 31 wife, she will love that man.
4. A Woman Knows He’s the One When His Leadership Draws Her Forward, Not Backward
A godly woman does not want to be controlled—but she does want to be led. Biblical leadership is not about dominance; it’s about direction, responsibility, and sacrificial love (Ephesians 5:25).
A woman starts to see a man as “the one” when she senses that following his leadership would actually move her closer to God, not further away from him. His decisions show wisdom. His priorities are clear. His life has direction.
This kind of leadership gives her peace because she knows she wouldn’t be dragging him spiritually, emotionally, or practically. Instead, she sees that he is already walking somewhere meaningful—and she can imagine walking alongside him.
5. A Woman Knows He’s the One When He Pursues Her with Consistency and Clarity
While men are called to pursue, women are wired to respond. A woman often knows a man is “the one” when his pursuit removes confusion rather than creates it.
Inconsistent attention breeds insecurity. Vague intentions breed doubt. But when a man is clear about his interest, consistent in his effort, and intentional with his time, a woman’s heart can rest.
Song of Solomon repeatedly highlights mutual desire expressed openly and confidently. A woman doesn’t need constant intensity—but she does need consistency. She wants to know where she stands.
When a man’s words match his actions, when his interest doesn’t fade under pressure, and when his pursuit feels steady rather than sporadic, a woman begins to trust his heart. That trust allows her feelings to deepen without fear.
6. A Woman Knows He’s the One When He Honors Her Femininity and Strengthens It
A woman starts to see a man as “the one” when she feels more like herself around him—not less. He doesn’t belittle her sensitivity or mock her intuition. He doesn’t pressure her to be harder, colder, or more aggressive to keep up with him.
Instead, he values her compassion, insight, and emotional intelligence. He creates space for her softness while respecting the fact that she is strong, but her strength looks different than a man’s strength. Proverbs 12:4 says, “An excellent wife is the crown of her husband . . .” A godly man wants to be with a feminine woman. And a godly woman is looking for a man who allows her to play the feminine roles, like wife and mother.
7. A Woman Knows He’s the One When God Gives Her Peace, Not Just Excitement
I’m talking about godly women. And a godly woman will always be seeking to follow Jesus, not just her own desires. Therefore, for her to really know she’s met the man she should marry, she will need to feel God’s peace about this decision (Colossians 3:15, Proverbs 3:5-6).
Related Article: 5 Ways a Man Knows She’s The One
