If you really love someone, but you are not in a relationship with them, why is God withholding this blessing from you? Whether it’s someone from your past, a close friend, or someone who seems to always be around, when you feel a lot of love for someone but can’t be with them in the way you crave, it can cause a lot of confusion. It can make you question God’s love for you.
Here are four possible reasons why God is not allowing you to be with the person you love.
1. God Hasn’t Said, “No.” He Might Just Be Saying, “Wait.”
It’s always possible that the reason you are not in a relationship with the person that you love is simply that it’s not the right time yet. However, if God really does want you with someone, eventually he will make it the right time. Sometimes relationships just take longer to develop than we want.
How will you know if this is the reason God isn’t allowing you to be with the person you love? Afterall, you could just fool yourself into waiting longer than you should, hoping that God is just saying wait, even though he is actually saying no. Here are a few principles to help you know if God is really saying wait or just giving you a no:
- When the connection is very new and you two are still getting to know each other, God is often simply saying, “Wait.” If you need more information about this person and if this person needs more information about you before it would be wise to enter into a dating relationship, it’s very possible you will be with this person one day. However, if you two know enough about each other to make an informed decision, but for whatever reason the relationship is still not happening, this probably means God is telling you to move on.
- If your hearts are not ready to commit even though your desire is present, this could be a sign that God is saying, “Wait.” For example, if one of you is healing from a recent breakup or going through something emotionally that is taking a lot of your time and energy, it’s certainly possible that this is the right person for you, but it’s just the wrong time.
- If there is positive movement forward, but it’s just progressing slower than you want, this is a good sign that God is telling you to keep waiting. However, if the connection is not growing and time is just ticking, this usually means the Lord is telling you to let this go.
God may reveal the right person before revealing the right time, because preparation often precedes possession. Ecclesiastes 3:11, “He has made everything beautiful in its time.”
While it’s certainly possible that the reason you are not with the person you love is simply that it’s not the right time, but it will be one day, in the following three points, we will discuss other possible explanations for this dilemma.
Related Article: 4 Reasons God Will Let You Meet the Right Person at the Wrong Time.
2. God Won’t Let You Be with the Person You Love If He Knows that Person Will Not Love You Back
God loves you too much to let you be with a person who won’t love you as much as you love them. We can certainly rebel against God’s warnings and enter into this type of relationship, but this is never God’s desire for us. God always wants to pair his children with partners who will love them immensely.
While you may have a genuine love for this person, God knows it would be a curse to give you a person who doesn’t love you in return. Unrequited love is one of the worst variables in a committed relationship. While it will still hurt to love someone you can’t be in a relationship with, it would hurt far more to be in a relationship with someone who clearly doesn’t love you back.
Once you meet the person God has for you, you will know God showed his love for you by not allowing you to be with this person you love right now. The person God has for you will love you in a way you never felt before, which will confirm that this is the right person for you. As the woman in Song of Solomon 8:6-7 states, “Set me as a seal upon your heart . . . for love is strong as death . . . Many waters cannot quench love.”
3. God Won’t Let You Be with This Person You Love If He Knows You Are Not the Person You Will Be in the Years Ahead
One of the main reasons we must always follow the Lord’s leading when choosing a spouse is that only God knows what the future holds. While it’s hard to comprehend in the present, the fact is, in the years ahead, most of us will be very different people from who we are right now. We may be able to pick someone for ourselves that would be a good match right now, but only God can pick someone for us who will change with us and still be a good match for us even when we become very different people in the future.
Be faithful now, and you will see in the future why God did not give you the person you think you want. When you are older, and your life and desires are completely different, and you look to your side and see the spouse that still fits with you, you will understand why God said no about this person you love right now.
Take comfort in the fact that God isn’t just thinking about your present, but he’s also thinking about your future. As Psalm 139:16 (NLT) states, “Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.”
4. God Won’t Let You Be with the Person You Love If This Person Is Not Who You Think They Are
Sometimes it feels like we love someone, but in reality, we are actually loving our idea of who this person is. But God knows the truth. Many times, people only show us their best side. It’s easy for us to then see what we want to see. It’s also easy to imagine the best of someone when you don’t know the facts. Instead of valuing someone’s character that you’ve seen on display, you take little things and expound upon them in unwise ways. We fill in the blanks not with truth, but with what we hope to be true.
If God is saying no about someone, trust that there is a good reason for it. God has a good plan for your life. He truly wants the best for you. As Psalm 84:11-12 expresses, “For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor. No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly. O Lord of hosts, blessed is the one who trusts in you!”
