4 Signs God Is Saying, “Stop Denying Your Feelings for that Person”

Here are 4 common situations where God might be saying, “Stop denying your feelings for that person.”

1. If You’re Afraid of Admitting You Don’t Want to Be Single Forever, God Is Probably Saying, “Stop Denying Your Feelings for that Person”

Some people wish they could want to be single forever. Deep down, however, they know they want to be married – and they hate this fact. They may even pray that God would take these desires away. Thus, this conflict within them often leads them into denial.

When another person enters their life that sparks that romantic desire they’re trying to deny, they can’t cope with the reality of all the feelings being stirred up, and so they try to just stuff it all down and out of sight.

Maybe you were hurt by someone in your past and then entered into a long season of singleness that was very enjoyable, peaceful, and healing. And now you’re worried because there’s a new person threatening that peace you had when they weren’t there. Your feelings for this person are almost annoying you because you really loved how simple your life was in singleness when you didn’t like anyone.

Instead of hiding your emotions out of fear, you should honestly acknowledge your attraction and bring it to God (1 Peter 5:7). Anxiety is never solved through denial. By pushing your feelings down, you’re making it all feel worse in the long run (Jonah 2:1-10).

Don’t deny your desire for a spouse. Sanctify your desire for a spouse so you can use it to glorify the Lord (1 Corinthians 10:31). While God may bring you and this person together, he sometimes uses someone to make us realize we want to be married rather than single, even if we don’t end up marrying the person who’s awakening our desires.

2. If You’re Afraid of Opening Your Heart Because You Don’t Want to Get Hurt Again, God Is Probably Saying, “Stop Denying Your Feelings for that Person”

Wanting to be single is a biblical desire. However, many people think they’re called to singleness, but in reality they are just living in fear about relationships. That is not the same thing as having the biblical call to singleness.

For example, Scripture states that those who have the gift of singleness see it as a gift, not a curse (Matthew 19:11-12, 1 Corinthians 7:7). If someone is longing for marriage and scared that they might have the call to singleness, that is a strong sign they don’t have that call.

Additionally, those called to singleness will be motivated by ministry (Matthew 19:12; 1 Corinthians 7:32-35). If someone is bitter towards the opposite sex because they were hurt in the past, that is not a biblical sign they have the gift of singleness. That is a biblical sign they need healing.

My point is that sometimes a person comes along, awakens our romantic desires, and forces us to confront the unhealthy motivations that were keeping us single. Maybe you needed to be single for a while to heal and grow. But if you’ve met someone and now your heart is coming alive again in the area of relationships, don’t deny this.

Bring your fears to God. Don’t run. While it might be scary, when you allow Jesus to empower you, you can heal and grow in new ways that you never imagined. But if you keep running every time your heart starts to feel something again, you’ll miss out on what God might want to be giving you.

Matthew 11:28, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”

3. If You’re Afraid of Ruining Your Friendship, God Is Probably Saying, “Stop Denying Your Feelings for that Person”

We rightly know that when we introduce romance into the equation, the friendship will never be the same. There’s no going back once you cross that line. And, fearing that acknowledging their feelings might end the friendship, many choose to deny them.

While I don’t think friends should hastily choose to sacrifice their friendship, I do believe this is usually the right choice for most men and women, even if things don’t work out. Why? Because male-to-female friendships are not built to last anyway. Whether it’s your own romantic connection or a romantic connection with someone else, things will eventually change between you two, whether you like it or not.

Therefore, you might as well try to be something more than friends because if you don’t, you certainly will be something less than you are at some point in the future. While it can be scary to think about not being friends anymore, it will hurt more to not have them at all, knowing you never even tried to keep them in your life forever by being something more.

If you love someone, it’s worth the risk (1 Corinthians 13:1-3)!

4. If You Truly Like Someone, Always Live in the Truth

There are countless other specific reasons why you shouldn’t deny your feelings for someone. But big picture, the Bible routinely leads us to always be people who live in truth (1 John 3:18). Denial is always a bad idea, no matter the reason!

For example, if you like an unbeliever or someone who’s already married, these are not good desires to have. Thus, you might want to deny having them. I’m not saying you should act on your feelings. Rather, I’m saying that denying the reality of these feelings will leave you open to making unwise choices. Denial will lead you to foolishly put yourself in situations that could lead you into unnecessary temptation. By being honest about your unhealthy desires, you can bring them to God, repent of what needs to be repented of, and the Lord can help you have different desires that are pleasing to him (Psalm 139:23-24).

Likewise, if you have feelings for someone that could be honoring to the Lord, no matter the reason, never live in a lie. If you like someone, tell the truth to yourself; and more importantly, to God. Truth is where Jesus walks. If you want to walk with Jesus, you have to walk in the truth. Proverbs 12:22, “Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who act faithfully are his delight.”

Walking in darkness always leads to harmful consequences, while living in the light always leads to good outcomes (1 John 1:5-10).

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