The devil can’t force his way into our lives and control us through force. Rather, the devil gains a foothold when we walk away from God and give in to temptation. The same is true when it comes to marriage.
Thus, any sin in marriage can really be used as a doorway for Satan to enter and cause more chaos. And yet, for most husbands and wives, we have particular weaknesses that tend to be more vulnerable areas for us.
Therefore, in this article, I will list 6 common doorways through which the devil gains a foothold in a marriage. Each one of these points really deserves its own article. But today, I will just do a quick summary so you can be on guard against these common weak points in many marriages.
1. Unforgiveness Gives the Devil a Foothold in Your Marriage
You’d think it would be easier to forgive the ones you love the most. But sometimes, the exact opposite is true. In marriage, for example, two people have committed to each other the highest form of love. They’ve vowed to love each other always. And yet, our spouses can be the ones we struggle to forgive the most. Why is that?
I think it has to do with the level of betrayal we feel when our spouse hurts us. It’s one thing for a stranger to be cruel to you. But when you’ve been vulnerable, open, and given your life to someone, and then that person hurts you, the wound is that much deeper. We are always the most vulnerable to those we love most.
Satan tries to use this deep pain in marriages by tempting us to be unforgiving. The only sin a marriage can’t survive is the sin that someone can’t forgive.
Additionally, while big hurts can certainly damage a marriage, sometimes it’s the little daily wounds that weaken it the most. Notice how Satan wants anger to fester and bitterness to consume us. Christ, however, calls us to forgive. Ephesians 4:26-27, 31-32, explains:
Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil . . . Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”
Whether it be a big betrayal or thousands of little hurts that have accumulated over the decades, if we want to shut the door on Satan in our marriages, we must forgive. 2 Corinthians 2:10-11 (NLT) says:
When you forgive this man, I forgive him, too. And when I forgive whatever needs to be forgiven, I do so with Christ’s authority for your benefit, so that Satan will not outsmart us. For we are familiar with his evil schemes.”
2. Despair Gives the Devil a Foothold in Your Marriage
The only thing that can get you through a hard time is hope. Hope is future-focused. It’s an eager expectation for something good, even when you don’t yet possess it. Hope looks past the pain in your present and seeks to see the better days ahead. Without hope, the heart dies because all it can see is the suffering right in front of it.
This is never so true as in marriage when going through something hard. If a spouse loses hope that the problem can be solved, the marriage is doomed, which is exactly what the devil wants. He loves despair.
Our God is a God of hope, “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope” (Romans 15:13). Satan wants you to forget this. When you despair and forsake the hope that your marriage can get better one day, you are doubting God, losing faith, and closing the door on healing.
Ephesians 6:10-11, “Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil.” Never give up! Your marriage can get through anything so long as you don’t lose hope.
When hope dies, love dies. 1 Corinthians 13:7, “Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.”
3. Forsaking Your Biblical Roles Gives the Devil a Foothold in Marriage
One of the most controversial sections of the New Testament for modern readers is found in 1 Timothy 2:12-15, which is where Paul says he does not permit women to teach in the church. A lot can be said about that passage, but I simply want to highlight 1 Timothy 2:13-14, which states, “For Adam was formed first, then Eve; and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor.”
While this section of Scripture should guide a lot of practical choices we make in church, this section of Scripture is really a reference about men and women following God’s design for the gender roles.
Before Eve was even made, God gave Adam the commands in the garden (Genesis 2:16-17). After he told Adam the rules, then God made Eve (Genesis 2:18). This is why we can’t say the biblical gender roles were just cultural during Paul’s time. Paul’s argument for men leading and women respecting is rooted in the creation story.
All that to say, just as Satan tempted Eve to lead and Adam to follow, which led to the original sin, so too does the devil try to gain a foothold in all marriages by tempting us to forsake our God-given marriage roles.
I’ll be talking a lot more about this topic on this channel, so make sure you’re subscribed with notifications on if you want to be a part of the journey we’ll be taking here.
4. A Love for Money Gives the Devil a Foothold in Marriage
Statistic after statistic will tell you that one of the biggest arguments couples routinely have in marriage revolves around money issues.
Life is stressful. So I’m not saying everyone who has a bad day or argues about money sometimes is also a deep lover of money. But some people do love money, and that’s one of the reasons it’s such a big problem in marriage (1 Timothy 6:10).
I find it interesting that Hebrews 13:4-5 talks about sexual holiness in marriage and then it immediately talks about not loving money:
Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you.’”
As bad as adultery can be in marriage, the love of money can ruin it just as quickly.
5. Busyness Can Give the Devil a Foothold in Marriage
Sometimes, a husband and wife give the devil a foothold not through some horrible, hidden sin. Rather, sometimes the door is opened one little millimeter at a time. Every time they put other responsibilities before each other without reconnecting at some point, their bond slightly weakens. It may take ten years for the door to be totally opened, but rest assured, while it’s opening slowly, the devil can still get a foothold like this.
As Jesus said to the church in Ephesus, “I know you are enduring patiently and bearing up for my name’s sake, and you have not grown weary. But I have this against you, that you have abandoned the love you had at first” (Revelation 2:3-4).
Likewise, busyness can kill a marriage, like the thorns that choked out the seed in Jesus’s parable, “Other seed fell among thorns that grew up and choked out the tender plants so they produced no grain” (Mark 4:7).
If you don’t make time for each other, your marriage won’t be strangled in a moment of violence. Rather, it will be like slowly suffocating in a room with no new oxygen coming in. As you use up the resources, you have to replace them. If you don’t, the marriage is slowly choked out.
6. Not Making Time for Your Daily Devotions Gives the Devil a Foothold in Marriage
Ultimately, a healthy marriage is founded on two individuals having a healthy relationship with Jesus Christ. While faith, hope, love, and other biblical qualities are essential in our walk with God, on a practical level, it always comes back to our daily walk with him (John 15:5).
Reading the Scriptures. Prayer. Christian fellowship. These sound so simple, but forsake them, and you will suffer (1 Timothy 4:13-16). Like water, food, and sleep, just because these are basic, doesn’t mean they aren’t the key to health.
If you want a healthy marriage, you have to be a healthy Christian first.
Was there one point that particularly spoke to you? If so, let me know in the comments and I can try to do a whole video on just that topic. So much more could be said about protecting our marriages from demonic forces. So make sure you’re subscribed as this is a topic I plan on talking a lot about. And here’s another video you should watch if you want to know the secret to a healthy marriage according to the Scriptures.
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