5 Ways to Make Your Wife Feel Really Loved By You

Here are 5 ways a husband can make his wife feel really loved.

Also, here’s the other article called 5 Ways to Make Your Husband Feel Really Loved By You.

1. If You Want to Make Your Wife Feel Really Loved, You Must Figure Out What Makes Her Feel Really Cherished By You

When Paul speaks to husbands in Ephesians 5:22-33, he doesn’t just say, “Love your wife.” He actually defines what that love should look like. Ephesians 5:28-29 says, “In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it…”

Those two words—nourish and cherish—are key. The Greek word for “nourish” (ektrepho) means to feed, support, and help grow. The Greek word for “cherish” (thalpo) means to warm, comfort, and tenderly care for.

While all husbands have their orders here, the way we go about expressing our obedience to these commands will depend on our wives. In other words, while all wives want to feel loved by their husbands, each individual woman is unique.  Some wives feel loved through words. Some through time. Some through acts of service. Some through affection and closeness.

You have to study your wife. Don’t assume. Don’t guess. Don’t love her the way you would want to be loved. Love her the way she receives love.

A husband who takes the time to truly understand his wife is obeying Ephesians 5:22-33 at a much deeper level.

2. If You Want to Make Your Wife Feel Really Loved, Initiate Deep Conversations Somewhat Regularly

While most men will feel connected to their wives through activities and sexual experiences together, most women will feel bonded to their husbands through verbal connections and emotional experiences. Even in sex, she feels connected when her emotions are awakened rather than it being overly focused on the physical.

Therefore, if you want your wife to feel really loved, you need to regularly initiate meaningful conversations with her. Things like “How was your day?” or “What are you up to tomorrow?” are nice and helpful to stay a little connected throughout the week. However, every now and then, a woman needs something more to really feel connected to her man. Questions like, “How are you really doing right now?” or, “What’s been on your heart lately? Has the Lord been speaking to you about anything specific?”

When a husband initiates these types of conversations, it communicates his care for her in a much deeper way than he realizes. While we might be naturally more concerned about keeping our families physically safe and well cared for, a woman will feel a man’s love when she senses his concern about her emotional well-being, too.

1 Peter 3:7 says husbands are to live with their wives in an understanding way. That understanding doesn’t happen by accident—it happens through intentional communication.

When your wife feels known, she will feel loved.

3. If You Want to Make Your Wife Feel Really Loved, Find Ways You Two Can Have Fun Together

Life can get really busy, really fast. Work. Bills. Responsibilities. Kids. Stress. And slowly, without realizing it, your marriage can become more about managing life than enjoying each other.

While a husband and wife both need alone time to pursue personal interests and hobbies, they also need to create space in their lives so they can connect by doing things they both enjoy. While a wife needs to be a part of creating this space for each other, a man should initiate this to show that he cares.

This doesn’t mean you have to plan extravagant vacations all the time. It means being intentional about simple things like weekly or monthly date nights, finding shows to watch together, creating space to try new things with friends, and simply making time for spontaneous memories.

Ecclesiastes 9:9 says, “Enjoy life with the wife whom you love . . .” Many wives feel most loved when their husband plans something, takes initiative, breaks the routine, and creates space for joy to occur. A loving husband doesn’t just provide and protect—he also pursues shared happiness with his wife.

4. If You Want to Make Your Wife Feel Really Loved, Pray for Her and Make Sure She Knows You’re Praying for Her

While praying for her is really important, it’s also crucial that you make sure she knows you’re praying for her. Notice how Paul consistently told people he was praying for them:

• Ephesians 1:16 – “I do not cease to give thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers…”
• Philippians 1:3-4 – “I thank my God in all my remembrance of you… always in every prayer…”
• Colossians 1:9 – “We have not ceased to pray for you…”

There is something deeply comforting to a wife when she knows her husband is bringing her before God. This helps her know that she’s not alone. She has a husband who loves her and will be there for her for as long as he lives.

Here are some practical ways to do this:

• Pray with her out loud
• Text her that you’re praying for her during the day, particularly when something stressful or new is occurring in her life
• Ask her what she needs prayer for
• Pray for her in specific, personal ways

When she feels your spiritual concern for her, she will feel extremely loved by you.

5. To Make Your Wife Feel Loved, Help Her Succeed in Loving You Well and Show Gratitude When She Does

Just as you want to know that you’re loving your wife well, as Ephesians 5:33 states, a godly wife wants to know she is respecting her husband well, as Ephesians 5:33 also states. In other words, one of the best gifts you can give to your wife is to help her succeed in loving you well through respecting you well.

A healthy marriage creates an environment where both spouses feel like they are succeeding, not constantly failing. If your wife feels like she’s constantly disrespecting you, she will feel like she’s failing you, and thus she will withdraw from you. But when she feels like she is doing a good job in making you feel respected, she will want to show you even more respect because she will feel good about her role as a wife.

Therefore, if you want your wife to feel loved, clearly communicate what makes you feel loved, what makes you feel respected, and what makes you feel appreciated. And then when she does those things, make sure you express your genuine gratitude and pleasure in her.

If you’re the type of guy who is constantly getting triggered and is angry all the time, no matter what your wife tries, that’s a you problem. You need to find your validation and happiness in Christ first and foremost. You will then be free to enjoy your wife. And when she feels your joy in her, she will feel loved by you.

So if she constantly feels like she can’t win—like nothing she does is enough—she will slowly shut down. This is where gratitude can change everything. Instead of focusing on what she’s not doing, highlight what she is doing. When she feels the joy of pleasing her husband, this will motivate her to want to please you even more.

Proverbs 18:22 says, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.”

If you truly believe your wife is a blessing from God, your words and attitude should reflect that. Encourage her. Appreciate her. Celebrate her. When you breathe life into your wife, she will naturally breathe life back into you. Ephesians 5:28, “He who loves his wife loves himself.”

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