4 Questions Women Ask When They’re Interested in You

Before a godly woman fully decides if she should give a man her heart and invite a serious relationship with him, she will be looking for answers to four important questions.

And just so you know, I’m talking about a godly Christian woman who is looking for a husband, not a worldly woman who is simply looking for a boyfriend.

Also, she probably won’t ask you these questions directly. In fact, she may not even realize she’s asking them. But as she gets to know you, she is paying attention to the inner questions she needs answered before she can open her heart to a guy.

Therefore, when she can answer these four questions with a confident “yes,” that’s when she will become much more willing to seriously invest in a relationship with you.

1. Is His Walk with Jesus Similar Enough to Mine?

The most important question a godly woman needs to answer about a man is whether his relationship with Jesus is compatible with hers.

She may think you’re funny, intelligent, or handsome. But if you are walking in a completely different spiritual direction, she knows that chemistry alone cannot sustain a marriage.

A serious Christian woman is thinking beyond dating. She’s thinking about marriage, parenting, church, and the spiritual atmosphere of her future home.

This doesn’t mean she needs to find a man who agrees with her about every minor theological issue. Christian couples can have different personalities, backgrounds, denominations, and even some theological disagreements.

But there needs to be enough spiritual unity that she can genuinely respect his faith and follow his leadership. If it’s too much of a stretch to be able to connect with God together, she won’t open her heart. She wants to be able to submit to her husband without questioning if she trusts his beliefs.

She knows what Ephesians 5:22 says, “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” This is a vulnerable thing to do. Therefore, before she trusts a man to that degree, she wants to make sure his walk with God is something she would want to influence her life.

2. Do I Want to Work Toward the Life He Wants to Build?

A serious woman isn’t just asking, “Do I like him?” Rather, she’s asking, “Could we build a life together?”

And again, since she wants to follow her future husband, she’s not looking for a man who will look to her for a plan. She wants a man who will consider her desires. But she doesn’t want a man who needs her to come up with a plan and direction for their life.

Remember, before God brought Adam a wife, he gave him a purpose, a plan, and direction in life (Genesis 2:15-18). Genesis 2:18 says, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” That word “fit” is crucial. God created marriage as a partnership between two people who can walk through life together.

While worldly women will try to alter a man’s path and control everything to get what they want, a godly woman will look at a man’s life and assess if she wants to join him. If she doesn’t, she will let him go, not trying to change him to make it work.

For example, a woman might really like a man but discover that he wants to spend the next fifteen years traveling constantly because that is what his business goals will require. If she is ready to settle down and raise a family in one community, she’ll know she wouldn’t be a great fit for him.

On the other hand, if a man is extremely ambitious and wants to build a demanding business, a different woman may realize she wants to be part of that dream. She will know she’s ready to also make the sacrifices needed to build a life with a man like that.

A serious woman wants to know what kind of life you’re trying to build because she is considering whether she could faithfully walk alongside you in it.

3. Do Other Women Find Him Desirable?

For some women, this question can come from an unhealthy place. She may be overly concerned about what other women think because she wants validation, social elevation, or is simply a follower who wants what others want. That’s insecurity and not healthy.

However, there is also a healthy version of this question. A serious woman may notice how other women respond to you because she’s trying to determine whether she is seeing something real in you. Many women question their own judgment. They know they are emotional. But when her peers see the same valuable traits she does, it confirms her assessment of you.

Proverbs 31:23 says of the excellent woman’s husband, “Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land.” There is something attractive about a man who is respected by others.

4. Will He Pursue Me Anytime Soon, or Will I Have to Wait Too Long?

Even if a woman likes you, she may still wonder, “Is he actually going to do something about it?”

If a woman really likes you, she will wait for you to pursue. But a spiritually mature woman who really likes you will not wait forever. While it will be hard for her to move on, she will let you go if you don’t pursue her in a reasonable time frame.

Even if she wants you to pursue her, she will eventually let you go if you wait too long because your passivity will be a sign to her that you aren’t that interested in her. To guard her own heart (Proverbs 4:23), she will choose to move on.

However, if you’re showing signs of interest and making steps towards her, even if they’re small steps that are taking a long time, she will wait for you if she’s serious. But if you’re just being passive and not working towards something with her, don’t expect her to wait forever.