James 4:7
Liking someone is not bad. It’s good. God made men and women to desire marriage and so it’s natural for two single people to have feelings they want to explore to see if marriage might be in their future together. But Satan will certainly try to use your feelings against you. Feelings for another person can be used for God’s glory or they can be used to lead you into sin. Satan is an opportunist. His desire is to use everything in your life for bad.
It’s not just that Satan wants to mess up a possible relationship for you, it’s that Satan wants to use any means available to him to hurt your walk with God. More than ruining a good relationship with a person, the devil’s main desire is to ruin your relationship with Jesus.
With that said, here are 4 things the devil will try to do when you like someone.
1. Satan Will Tempt You to Jump to the Extremes When You Like Someone
The devil loves extremes because that’s where the extremists are formed. This is true when it comes to relationships too. When you begin to have feelings for someone, Satan wants you to jump too far in one of two directions. He wants you to assume you will either for sure marry this person even though you don’t know them that well yet or he wants you to assume you will for sure get hurt by this person and it won’t work out even though you don’t know this person that well yet.
Satan loves the extremes because that’s where sin occurs. Sin is when you use a good thing in a bad way. Sex is not sinful. It’s only sinful when it’s done outside of marriage. Food is not sinful. It’s only sinful when you are a glutton. Expressing yourself is not sinful. It’s only sinful when you lose self-control and you express yourself in a rude and extreme way.
Again, Satan wants you to jump to the extremes when you like someone because that’s where the sin will occur. You will either begin to idolize this person and assume they are the one even though you don’t know them, or you will begin to live in fear and never open your heart even though God may be leading you to open up more to this person so he can bless you with a great relationship.
Ecclesiastes 3 says, “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven . . . a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing . . . a time to keep silence, and a time to speak,” (verses 1, 5, and 7). Satan wants you to miss each season God wants you to be in. He wants you to embrace when you should not embrace. He wants you to not embrace when you should embrace. He wants you to speak when you should be silent. And he wants you to be silent when you should speak.
Therefore, when you like someone, don’t assume anything. Just acknowledge your feelings and bring them to God. Don’t deny your feelings for this person and don’t completely give into your feelings for this person. Ask God to give you clarity to know if you should pursue something more with this person and ask him to help you have appropriate feelings for the stage at which your connection with this person actually is at.
2. Satan Will Tempt You to Compromise on Your Christian Convictions When You Like Someone
Romance is a powerful feeling. Anything powerful can be used for great good or for great evil. Obviously Satan wants to use your feelings for someone against you. One way he will do that is by tempting you to strike a deal with the false god of romance.
Whenever there is an idol in our lives, we will try to strike a deal with this false god. We will believe that this thing can give us what we want but we will know it will require something from us. When it comes to the idol of romance, people often believe if they compromise on their Christian convictions they will then be blessed with the love that they crave. Thus, many lay their relationship with God down on the altar of human love.
Christians rationalize this type of thing because they often think the first step to having a godly marriage is to just get married. People think if they can just get someone to marry them then they can start working on that person and they will then magically become a godly couple in a marriage that glorifies God. But this is not the process by which godly marriages are formed.
A godly union will only be formed when two people want the same thing – to please Christ. If someone wants one thing but the other person wants something different, that is the definition of conflict. Therefore, if you want to please Christ but you are in a relationship with someone who doesn’t want to please Christ, you are going to always have conflict in this relationship.
The command in 2 Corinthians 6:14 to not be unequally yoked is not meant to be viewed as a restrictive command. Christians often wish this verse wasn’t there because they want to date or marry an unbeliever. But all of God’s commands are there for our good. God knows if you marry someone who doesn’t share your Christian convictions, you are going to suffer and be miserable.
It might be fun at first, but there’s always conflict when two people lack shared convictions.
3. Satan Will Tempt You to Have a Pass or Fail Mindset Towards Marriage When You Like Someone
In most cases, when a Christian single person likes someone, those desires will not lead to a relationship. Think of it – if you want to be married one day, you are longing for something that will only happen one time in your life. Obviously single people end up having feelings for a lot people throughout their lives. These feelings don’t always progress into something serious, but it’s natural for single people to be interested in each other.
Satan will use this to hurt your heart by tempting you to think that getting married to the person you like is the victory and not getting married to the person you like is a failure. This is bad thinking though. Rather, a healthy way to handle your feelings in singleness towards other singles is to see clarity as the victory.
If you like someone and it becomes clear you two will not be in a relationship one day, that is a victory because you now have clarity. If you date someone because you are wondering if you two should get married one day, but then you break up, this is a victory because you now know you are not meant to get married. And if you date someone and do realize you two should get married, that is a victory because now you have clarity.
But Satan wants you to see everything as a failure if you don’t marry someone because this will tempt you to try to date and marry people God doesn’t want you with. Don’t try to win someone at all cost just because you like them. Rather, only try to be with someone if you know God wants you with them.
Follow Jesus and seek to live for him always, “And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him” (Colossians 3:17).
4. Satan Will Tempt You to Be Impatient or Too Passive When You Like Someone
Liking someone can be a challenge because it’s so easy to act too soon or to not act soon enough.
If you are impatient, you might end up getting hurt and not guarding your heart enough (Proverbs 4:23). You might end up making things awkward by professing your feelings too soon when if you just waited God would have made it clear this person did not like you like that. Or impatience might lead you to get involved with someone that tempts you into sin and who God would have warned you about if you would have taken your time and went slower.
On the other hand, if you are too passive, you might waste years wondering if you will end up with this person. If you were more proactive and less fearful (2 Timothy 1:7), however, and did something that clearly expressed your interest in this person, you would then find out if the feelings were mutual must faster. If they reject you, you would not need to waste years wondering if you two were meant to be. And if they don’t reject you, you won’t have to waste years of confusion when you two could already be together right now. Passivity can cause you to miss a great relationship God has for you.
Either way, Satan wants you to be impatient or too passive when you like someone. He does not want you to be walking with God, seeking to be both biblically patient and biblically bold when the time is right.
