If you’ve been in church for very long, you’ve probably heard a lot of sermons about marriage. You’ve probably even heard some good information about dating. Maybe you’ve been taking in some good information about healing from a past relationship.
But what about those of you who aren’t currently dating someone, haven’t dated in the past, and thus aren’t wounded from a past relationship? What does the Bible say to you?
By applying these 5 biblical principles, we can get a good sense of what God might be saying to you if you want to be married one day but you currently have zero relationship experience.
1. The Bible Says It’s Better to Be Alone Than to Be with the Wrong Person
Maybe you feel like you are at the bottom of the social barrel because you have zero relationship experiences. Even though most people you talk to have terrible stories and seem very damaged because of past dating wounds, perhaps you feel they are better off than you because they have at least experienced some form of romance in their life.
Take heart and remember the truth that it is better to be alone than with the wrong person. Proverbs 21:9 states, “It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.” The book of Proverbs is all about giving us principles, so this verse isn’t just about a husband who wants to avoid a nagging wife. Rather, it’s saying that if you are with a toxic person, you will wish you were alone.
So even though you have never been in a relationship, thank the Lord you have not also been in a terrible relationship.
2. The Bible Says Our Times Are in God’s Hands
Psalm 31:14-15, “But I trust in you, O Lord; I say, ‘You are my God.’ My times are in your hand; rescue me from the hand of my enemies and from my persecutors!” While this verse is not about romantic relationships, it does give us a good principle to look at when we are going through something difficult and painful.
Just as David wanted deliverance from his enemies but he also reminded himself of God’s good timing, so too must we constantly remind ourselves that “my times are in your hand.” God has a good plan. Trust him. David didn’t want to have enemies persecuting him, but he still trusted the Lord. You may not want to be single with no relationship experience, but you can still trust that God has a good plan.
All you need to do is remain faithful! Whether God gives you a relationship or doesn’t, he is able to fulfill his good plan for you through his power.
3. The Bible Says to Look at Yourself More Than Any Other Variable
If you are a Christian single person who wants to be married, this is good. Never feel bad about wanting marriage. God is the one who made marriage and gives us the desire for a spouse (Genesis 2:18, 1 Corinthians 7:7). Therefore, you should look at the practical reasons for why you might be single so you can do something about it.
Yes, you might have always lacked options. Yes, this day and age does make it difficult to find another real Christian who has not been brainwashed by society. Yes, perhaps God is just saying it’s not your time and there’s nothing you can do to change that.
However, the Bible also tells us to use wisdom (Proverbs 4:5) and to seek good things from God (Matthew 7:7). The Bible also says a spouse is a good thing (Proverbs 18:22). Lastly, the Bible tells us to focus more on ourselves than on other people and other variables outside of our control (Matthew 7:3-5, Ecclesiastes 11:6).
All that to say, while there are variables outside of your control that have contributed to you never being in a relationship, the wise thing to do is to look at yourself to see if there is anything you could change that might help you get into a godly relationship. Are you socially anxious? That will hinder you. Are you living an unhealthy lifestyle and thus your body looks unhealthy? That will hinder you. Are you living an isolated lifestyle away from other Christians? That will hinder you.
You don’t want to blame yourself. But you do want to look at yourself and change what you can because really, that’s all you can do. Everything else is out of your control. But that doesn’t mean everything is out of your control. You are in your control (in the practical sense). So do what you can and then leave the rest to God.
4. The Bible Says You Should Educate Yourself on Spiritual Truth and Living Well
Another thing that will directly impact your ability to be in a godly relationship is your knowledge. And this is also a variable you do have some control over. There are many good resources out there to help you learn the Scriptures and apply it to your life, including when it comes to relationships.
If you have never been in a relationship, that doesn’t mean you need to be naive or uneducated about relationships. God’s word is able to teach us about everything!
2 Timothy 3:16-17, “All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work.”
5. The Bible Says You Should Pray About What You Want
Are you praying properly for a godly spouse? If you want help on that topic, you may want to read this article/prayer called, A Prayer to Be Married.
