Here are 5 issues that God often uses to lead you into a relationship with someone.
1. Miscommunication
For example, perhaps you were in a group Bible study with someone and after they said their answer to a question, you stated a different answer. You didn’t mean to cause conflict, but the way you said it and the timing of your statement made it seem like you were harshly correcting this person and saying they were wrong. Perhaps this miscommunication causes bitterness to grow between you and this person. Or, what could happen, is that after the group you clarify what you meant and apologize for how it came across. If this person works through that with you, perhaps this sparks a deeper connection that one day progresses into romance.
The point is, miscommunications can be used by God to create opportunities to increase better communication. And when you are connecting better with another single person from the opposite sex, oftentimes romance occurs.
As Proverbs 18:21 states, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.”
2. Distance
Sometimes two people won’t know what they have until they lose it. Sometimes two people won’t know how much they enjoy each other’s company until they are no longer in each other’s company. Sometimes you won’t know you want something more with a friend until you lose what you have with that friend.
Notice how the separation between the couple in Song of Solomon motivated them to search for each other more diligently, “I sought him whom my soul loves; I sought him, but found him not . . . I will seek him whom my soul loves,” (Song of Solomon 3:1-2).
God can use distance to crystalize your desires for each other. If you never had to deal with the distance, you may never have been motivated enough to come together as a couple.
3. Other People’s Romantic Interest
I’m certainly not saying that Christians should be jealous or try to come between other people’s relationships with each other.
But God, for example, expresses a holy jealousy for the people he loves (Exodus 34:14). Of course we are not God and we can’t claim ownership of people like he can. But in some sense, as we seek to imitate his love, there is a place for a “holy jealousy” (so to speak) when you want to be in a relationship. The whole point of being in a romantic relationship or marriage is so you and this person can be exclusive.
Thus, sometimes your feelings for someone are awakened when you realize that they won’t be on the open market forever. When you have a good friend from the opposite sex that you love being around but you are afraid of losing your friendship with them by dating them, it can be a sobering experience when you realize other people are still going to try to date this person. When this person gets into a relationship with someone else, that new commitment will change their friendship with you anyways.
When you realize other people are going to take a risk to be with this person, God can use this to help you realize you should take this risk before someone else does and you lose your chance.
4. Sacrifice
When the cost outweighs the gain, it’s an unwise decision. When the gain outweighs the cost, it is a wise decision (Matthew 19:29-30).
The same is true when it comes to relationship decisions. A relationship will always cost you something. It will cost you some personal freedom, your time, your resources, and much else.
But if you do the relationship math and you realize you will gain more by being with this person than what you must give up to be with this person, this is a good sign God is leading you two together.
5. Endings
Endings always come before new beginnings. Before God starts a new chapter in your life, he will first close the old ones.
If God is asking you to end a bad relationship, to stop dabbling with someone you know you will never date, or to end a season of passivity, this could be because he wants to give you a new relationship, a committed connection, or to lead you into a season of fruitful activity.
As Lamentations 3:22-24 states, “The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. ‘The Lord is my portion,’ says my soul, ‘therefore I will hope in him.’”
