5 Things a Woman Does When She Wants You to Pursue Her

Ruth 2:23

Here are 5 things a woman often does when she wants a man to pursue her.

1. She Probably Wants You to Pursue Her If She Gave You a Birthday Present

I know, I know . . . this point seems random and untrue. Can’t a single woman just give one of her guy friends a birthday present without wanting him to pursue her romantically? Sure, it’s possible.

The main reason I’ve included this as a sign that a woman wants you to pursue her is because of how many times single women I’ve coached have told me they did this for the man that they were interested in. Through the email coaching I offer at AGW University, female students have emailed me to explain their story with a guy. In those stories, I’ve routinely heard how this woman gave this a guy a birthday present. She then would tell me what he did or did not do after she gave him this gift.

I think one of the reasons this is such a common tactic for women who want a guy to pursue is because they are looking for a natural way to do something nice for him without being too forward. Because a Christian woman knows it’s the man’s job to pursue (Ephesians 5:22-24), she is afraid of being too forward (1 Peter 3:1-6). So she sees his birthday as an opportunity to send a signal that she likes him while also being able to hide behind the social acceptability of giving someone a birthday present.

Do I have a biblical example or a clear principle in Scripture about this? No, I do not. This is certainly my personal opinion, so take it with a grain of salt. Nonetheless, it’s been my experience that if a single woman buys a single guy a birthday present, it usually means she wants him to pursue her.

2. She Wants You to Pursue Her If She Communicates with You More Than She Does with Other Men

Humans tend to communicate affection in the way that they best receive affection. If you like getting gifts, you will probably give a gift. If you like quality time, you will probably try to give quality time. And so on.

Communication is usually very important to women. Thus, to send a signal that she likes a man, she will usually try to communicate with him more than she does with other men.

Additionally, a woman usually communicates more with the guy she likes because this is how her emotional tank is filled too. To gauge whether or not she could see a romantic future with you, she will feel it out through texting you, using social media to connect, and talking to you in person.

Lastly, because she wants you to communicate with her, she will try to do this to spark you doing it too (Luke 6:31).

3. She Wants You to Pursue Her If She Makes Time for You

The first two points were about a woman doing something proactive to let you know she wants you to pursue her. However, many times you need to look at her reactions to you.

If you text a woman and she doesn’t get back to you, she doesn’t like you. If you ask her to spend time with you but she always has an excuse, she doesn’t like you. If she knows where you spend your time and she never goes to that place, it means she doesn’t like you.

Like Ruth who chose to work in Boaz’s field throughout the barley harvest (Ruth 2:23), a woman will make time for you if she wants you to pursue her.

4. She Wants You to Pursue Her If Her Friends Are Trying to Let You Know You Should Pursue Her

When a woman really likes a guy, she is going to try to think of ways to let him know she likes him without directly telling him this herself. Oftentimes she resorts to asking her friends to encourage you to pursue her.

You might think her friend is just going rogue and trying to play matchmaker. That’s not what’s happening. If a woman’s friend is encouraging you to pursue her, you can be sure this is actually coming directly from this woman and not just from her friend.

Just as Abraham sent out his servant to find a wife for his son Isaac (Genesis 24), so too will women rely on their friends to help them get into a good relationship.

5. She Wants You to Pursue Her If She Says Yes When You Pursue Her

As a man, it’s always best to be proactive rather than waiting for a woman to give you the green light. Don’t expect a woman to make it crystal clear that she likes you. She wants you to risk rejection in your pursuit of her.

Therefore, the best way to know if a woman wants you to pursue her is to pursue her. Even if she rejects you, at least you know for certain she is not the one for you. As a man, eventually you just have to do something and see what happens (Proverbs 14:23).

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