Here are 3 signs God is telling you it’s time to let someone go and no longer cling to the hope of being in a relationship with this person.
And on a quick side note, I wanted to let you know the deadline to enroll in AGW University is less than a week away. AGW University is where I provide specialized relationship training courses for Christian singles who not only want to be married one day, they also want to meet, date, and marry the one God has for them in a way that brings glory to God.
Lately many people have also been asking me if these courses are designed for Christian singles of a particular age. I designed these courses for any adult Christian single person who wants to be married. So whether you are in your 20 and 30s or you are in your 60s and 70s, the material in these courses will apply to you if you want to be married one day. By enrolling you also get access to the AGW student private Facebook group. This is where all the students connect with each other. There are over 380 students in this group thus far.
I’m also offering my newest course about online dating as a free bonus for anyone who enrolls before the deadline of this Sunday, May 17th at 11:59pm. I believe this course is especially important due to all the social distancing in our society. So if you are wondering how to date in a post-COVID-19 world, this course will really help. You also will get 90 days of bonus email coaching with me. This is where you can share your personal story with me and we can create an individualize plan just for you to help you follow the Lord’s leading in your life specifically.
Lastly, if you enroll before the deadline I’m giving you are $50 scholarship because I know the economy has negatively affected many of us during these tough times. I also offer a 30-day full refund window if for some reasons you are not fully satisfied with the AGW University experience, no questions asked. For more information, feel free to click here.
1. God Could Be Saying “Let Them Go” If Your Hope for a Relationship with This One Person Is Intruding on Your Hope in God
It’s not wrong to hope that you meet a godly person to date. It’s not wrong to have a hope for a Christian marriage one day. And it’s not even wrong to have a hope that you and this specific person will one day be together. But it is wrong for any desire to crowd out our ultimate hope in God.
In other words, God has no issues with us desiring other things besides him. It was God who made us to have other longings. We all get hungry. We all get thirsty. We all get tired. And God made us with this need to eat food, drink water, and to get sleep. Problems only arise when we start wanting things more than we want God himself. That’s what the Bible calls an idol. 1 Peter 1:13-16 states:
Therefore, preparing your minds for action, and being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ. As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance, but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, since it is written, ‘You shall be holy, for I am holy.’”
Hope is an eager expectation for something good in the future. This is why our ultimate hope must always rest fully on Jesus Christ. We have been immensely blessed through Christ now, but so much more redemption is ahead when Christ returns and makes all things new. That is where our ultimate hope must lie. This means that we must live with the dual realization that we should seek joy now while also realizing we will never be fully free to enjoy God as he intended until Christ’s return or until we go home to him in glory when we die (Philippians 1:23).
Your future will not be perfect even if God gave you that person. It’s okay to hope for a joyful relationship, but ultimately our hope must fully be in God because only he can provide that perfect joy our hearts crave.
2. If You Are Seeking to Glorify God So He Will Bless You with This Relationship Rather Than Seeking to Glorify God Through Obeying God’s Leading No Matter What He Says, This Is Probably a Sign God Is Telling You It’s Time to Let Them Go
We get into trouble when we want to glorify God in a particular way rather than glorifying God in the way that he is calling us to do.
The American church especially has taught Christians to live upside down. In other words, American Christianity has taught people to seek to honor God so that God will bless the rest of their lives – their health, their finances, their relationships. But God is not someone to be bought off with glory. God is not a machine looking to be fed glory tokens so that he will then spit out what we want from him.
God did not give us desires so that he could then serve us by satisfying these desires. God gave us desires so that we can serve him with these desires. In other words, you should not seek to glorify God to get a particular life circumstance. Rather, you should seek to glorify God through whatever life circumstance God leads you into.
Our goal must not be to glorify God so he will make us successful at work, successful in ministry, or successful in relationships. Rather, we should work hard at work, in ministry, and in our relationships to bring him glory. Don’t seek to glorify God so he will make you a leader at work. Seek to glorify God through seeking to be a great leader at work. Don’t seek to glorify God so he will give you a big ministry. Seek to have a big ministry that has a big impact as a way of bringing glory to God. Don’t seek to glorify God so he will give you a spouse. Seek to have a spouse so you can glorify God through that marriage.
In other words, you should not try to please God in hopes that he will give you a spouse. You should seek to please God in your search for a spouse. Use your search for a spouse as a way of bringing God glory. Don’t use glorifying God as a way of bringing you a spouse.
So if you have been trying to force God’s hand to give you this relationship but God is pointing you in the other direction to let this go, it’s time to obey. Remember, your goal must not be to glorify him to get what you want but to glorify him no matter what – in all circumstances. As Philippians 4:11-13 famously states:
Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.”
3. If Clinging to This Relationship Is Not Producing Good Fruit, This Is a Sign God Is Telling You It’s Time to Let Them Go
God has put us in a cause and effect world. Every action has a reaction. Everything we do either has a good influence on our lives or a bad influence on our lives. So one of the ways you can know if what you are doing is good is if the effect it is having on you is good. In other words, if the effect is good the cause is good. If the effect is bad the cause was bad.
This is essentially what Jesus said in when using the analogy of good and bad trees. In Matthew 7:17-20 Jesus said:
So, every healthy tree bears good fruit, but the diseased tree bears bad fruit. A healthy tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a diseased tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus you will recognize them by their fruits.”
What is the fruit of clinging to this person in your heart? Is it helping you live free? Is it helping you pursue God’s will for your life? Or is it keeping you depressed and stuck, unable to move into the good God has planned for you?
You shall know them by their fruit. If letting this person go would cause better fruit in your life that would bring God more glory, this is a sign God is telling you to let them go.
For more information about my relationship training course, click here to visit AGW University.