4 Biblical Ways to Know if You Love a Man Enough to Marry Him

Colossians 3:18

When you get into a godly relationship with a Christian man, how will you know if you love him enough to actually marry him? Will you make a mistake? Will you have doubts on your future wedding day, whenever that may be?

Here are 4 biblical ways you can know when you love a man enough to marry him.

1. If You Love Him Enough to Commit for Your Whole Life Even Though You Don’t Know Everything About Him Yet, This Is a Biblical Sign You Love Him Enough for Marriage

Marriage is a step of faith, but it should never be a blind step of faith. Before you get married, the Bible does say you must know certain things about this man. For example:

• If you are a Christian, you must know if this man is a Christian so you two are equally yoked (2 Corinthians 6:14, 1 Corinthians 7:39).
• You must know he has the maturity to fulfill his role as a husband as outlined in the Bible (Ephesians 5:21-33, Colossians 3:19).
• You must know he has an equal love for you as mutual sacrifice will be required in a healthy marriage (Ephesians 5:21).

And yet, it is always impossible to know everything about a man before you marry him. As you spend decades together in marriage, you both will be learning new things about yourselves and about each other. This man will not even know everything about himself when you two get married. So how could you know everything about him? Additionally, people change. Who he is at 30 will be different than who he is at 50.

And so, when you commit to a man in marriage, you are taking a step of faith. Thus, to take this step of faith, you will have to know enough about him to know you are comfortable learning the unknowns after you are already married.

If that feels too risky, if it feels like you don’t know enough about him yet to dive into the unknown with him, this simply means you are not ready to marry him.

2. If You Love Him Enough to Willingly Submit to Him and Support Him, This Is a Biblical Sign You Love Him Enough for Marriage

There is a big difference between choosing to submit to your husband compared to being forced to submit to your husband. If a woman is being forced to submit to a man, she is being abused and this is extremely unbiblical.

However, submission is not the issue. Being forced to submit is the problem. God actually calls a woman to willingly submit when she meets the man she loves and wants to marry (Ephesians 5:22-24, Colossians 3:18). In Martyn Lloyd-Jones’ commentary on Ephesians 5:22-24, he states of a woman’s willing submission:

“It is a voluntary submission . . . unless she is prepared to do so, unless she is convinced that she can submit herself to this man, she should not marry him. If she enters into marriage with any other idea, it is against the will of God, and she is committing sin.”

3. If You Want to Have Sex with Him Because You Love Him So Much, This Is a Biblical Sign You Love Him Enough for Marriage

People want to have sex with each other for all kinds of reasons. So obviously just wanting to have sex is not evidence you love this man enough to marry him.

However, one of God’s original reasons for creating sex was so that the husband and wife could express their internal love for each other in a physical way. Therefore, when the man and woman’s heart are healthy, when they begin to love each other, there will also arise in them a healthy desire to have sex with each other.

When this desire comes up and it’s rooted in true love, this is a sign God wants you to get married (Hebrews 13:4, 1 Corinthians 7:36).

4. If You Love Him Enough to Take Yourself Off the Market Forever, This Is a Biblical Sign You Love Him Enough for Marriage

If you’re still asking yourself, “I wonder if there is someone better out there for me?” this means you are not ready to marry this man. It doesn’t mean you will never be ready. Perhaps you just need more time to get to know him and to connect with him more deeply.

Additionally, if there is still someone in your past who you wish you could marry, this is a sign you should not marry someone else. I’m not saying you will marry that person in your past. But you do need to deal with those longings before you commit to someone else.

The point is, when you choose to marry a man, you will know you love him enough when you are fully confident and happy to take yourself off the relationship marketplace for the rest of your life. As Jesus taught in Mark 10:7-9, which reads:

‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

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