Should you move on from this person or give them more time? If you wait for them, will they start to like you just as much as you like them, or will they never see you that way, thus you will just be wasting your life waiting?
These are hard situations to go through because sometimes you should just move on and sometimes you should give it more time. If you want the peace of knowing you are doing the right thing, you have to seek God’s wisdom.
So here are 4 instances where God often tells Christian singles to wait longer before moving on from someone.
1. If You’ve Recently Talked to the Person You’ve Admired from a Distance for a Long Time, God Will Often Lead You to Wait Longer Before Moving On
You’re at church and you see someone across the room that you find attractive. A few weeks pass and suddenly you see them giving announcements from the front and when the pastor comes up he says some kinds words about this person, signifying to you this person is involved at church and seems to be a mature Christian. A few months pass and you finally end up in the same small group. You get a chance to talk to this person and seems to go really great. You are so happy at the end of the night. But then next time you see them at church, they just smile and wave politely as they walk past you. What happened?
One possible explanation is that this person has not had as much time to think about you as you have about them. You’ve been watching and observing them for months. They just met you one time. So you have two options. You can move on because they don’t seem as interested as you. Or you can wait longer and give them more time.
Giving them more time is usually the right choice because they will either get to know you and like you, or it will become clear they will never be interested; and even if the latter happens, at least you now know you did everything you could, so you can now move on in peace, not needing to wonder if you should have given it more time.
As Ecclesiastes 7:8-9 states, “Better is the end of a thing than its beginning, and the patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit. Be not quick in your spirit to become angry, for anger lodges in the heart of fools.”
2. If You’re Trying to Transition from Friendship Into Romance with Someone, Oftentimes God Will Tell You to Wait Longer and Give This Person More Time
Friendship is one of the best and most common foundations for true love between a man and woman. However, when friends do transition into romance, the switch can sometimes be rocky. Sure, some make the switch rather simply. But others find it more difficult because they worry about ruining the friendship or one person’s romantic feelings have developed faster than the others.
Time is often the solution to issues like these. Over time, the friends will realize the risk involved in romance is worth it. Yes, their friendship might end if they realize romance won’t work between them. But there is also the possibility of their friendship and romance never ending if they do make this transition from friendship to romance. It can take time for two people to realize they don’t want to lose what they have as friends, and so the only way to truly preserve this is to offer a greater commitment than friendship can offer.
Friendships with the opposite sex always change when one of those people gets married to someone else because when you become “one flesh” with your spouse (Genesis 2:24), it should cause distance between you and others in some ways.
Of course it’s fine to have friends, but when you have a spouse they are your top priority. So if you don’t want to lose your friend from the opposite sex, sometimes the only way to do that is to marry them one day because if they marry someone else, effectively you have lost them anyways.
3. If You Are Forming a Bond with Someone Through a Common Interest, God Will Often Tell You to Wait Longer and Give This Person More Time
I really like the way C.S. Lewis describes the difference between friends and lovers, “Lovers are always talking to one another about their love; friends hardly ever about their friendship. Lovers are normally face to face, absorbed in each other; friends, side by side, absorbed in some common interest.”
Serving side by side, learning side by side, doing a hobby side by side – these are all great ways to form friendships. But if you want something more than a side-by-side relationship that revolves around a common interest, you have to give it time. As you spend time together doing something you both enjoy, eventually you often both realize you not only enjoy this thing you are doing but you actually enjoy each other. When you make the turn from side by side to face to face, then romance can happen.
As Song of Solomon 8:4 (NIV) states, “Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.”
4. If Someone Is Still Fearful of Getting Hurt or They Need to Biblically Mature Before a Christian Connection Can Be Made, This Is Often an Instance Where God Is Telling You to Wait Longer and Give It More Time
When you rush healing, you actually are slowing it down. If you break your leg and you put weight on that leg before it’s healed, you will reinjure yourself, delaying the full healing you need. But if you give it the time it needs to fully heal, you will actually be walking much faster.
Likewise, if you rush into a relationship that you are not ready for or you don’t give someone else the time they need to properly prepare for it, you are slowing the whole thing down. But if you are patient, only moving forward when you know the biblical signs are present, then you are actually speeding the whole process up. Those who go fast end up getting delayed and those who go slow are often those who move forward faster.
As Proverbs 19:2 states, “Desire without knowledge is not good, and whoever makes haste with his feet misses his way.”
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