4 Reasons Besides “Lust” that People Look at Porn

(Warning: This article is a bit more graphic and blunt than most of the material on ApplyGodsWord.com. I wanted to speak candidly to help those who might be struggling in this area, but for some the bluntness of this content could be offensive. That is not my intention. If you are sensitive to sexual language I would recommend not reading further.)

It’s important to examine the reasons why people look at porn so we can better help them stop. If you are looking at porn and you want to stop because you know this is sinful, it helps to take a deeper look at what is going on inside of you. The health of the tree produces the fruit just as the health of your heart produces your actions (Mark 7:21).

The main reason people look at porn is because we are sinful. Lust is in your sin nature and when you are allowing your sin nature to control your body, your body will do lustful things. But when it comes to our sexual activity as humans, there’s more to the story than sinfulness.

God created sex to express the love between a husband and wife. Sex is not sinful. Sin is when you use a good thing in a bad way. But sex itself is not bad. Sexual desires are not bad. They are a part of God’s design for humans. And God created sex to be expressive.

Again, its proper context sex expresses the love of a husband and wife. When sex is taken out of its proper context, it is still expressive but it just expresses other things, resulting in sin. In this article, I’m going to list 4 of the most common emotions people are expressing when they commit sexual sin like looking at porn.

People Express Their Anger Through Porn Use

One of the main emotions people express sexually is anger. This one is especially prevalent in men. When a guy gets angry, his sexuality can become the release of that anger and he simply reflects the angry emotions he’s feeling through his use of porn.

This is why when men look at porn they are not watching love stories, romance plot lines, or some scene with lots of dialogue. Men just jump to aggressive and sometimes violent pornographic material because they are expressing the anger inside of them. When they have a bad day at work, when they get into a fight with their wife, or when they feel disrespected, their frustration can manifest in their sinful use of porn.

It’s also not uncommon for a man to look up pornographic material involving a woman who looks like the person he is angry at. He may not even know why he clicks on a certain type of scene, but by “coincidence” the woman in the porn scene is about the same age, has the same hair color, and looks similar to his wife who he just had an explosive fight with.

Sometimes the reason you can’t stop looking at porn is because you have not dealt with the root issues of your anger. Your porn use may not be about the lust or the sexual images. You might just be expressing your anger through the degrading images you are watching.

People Express Their Loneliness Through Porn Use

When used properly, sex is supposed to make you feel connected to your spouse. When you are lonely you have a desire to be connected to someone. When sin and loneliness mix together, oftentimes porn use is the result.

There is nothing more intimate and vulnerable than a husband and wife being naked together. Again, in marriage this is good. People sin, however, when they allow their loneliness to express itself sinfully through porn use or other sexual sin.

Most people only look at porn when they are alone. I don’t think this is just about shame and hiding your sin. It certainly involves that, but I don’t believe many people leave a party or a great social event because they really want to go home alone and look at porn. Rather, they are tempted to look at porn when they are alone but wish they were not.

If you can’t stop looking at porn, perhaps it is because you are too isolated and you don’t have real relationships to satisfy the God-given desires inside of you for a healthy community. Sometimes if you grow in your relationships with others you will be empowered to stop looking at porn. This is one reason why a healthy accountability partner can sometimes be so helpful.

People Look at Porn When They Are Hurt from Past Abuse

Many sex offenders were sexually abused themselves in their past. It’s a well-documented fact that many sex offenders commit their crimes against people who are the same age as they were when they were abused in their past. If someone was molested as an 8 year old, statistically it is more likely that they will commit a crime against an 8 year old rather than an 18 year old.

The reason this occurs is because the offender is sexually expressing the hurt within themselves. This can also be seen in homosexuals. Most homosexual men, for example, had poor relationships with their father. They crave a relationship with their father, but when sin enters the picture this desire gets warped and it manifests as a sexual desire for another man. Their longing for male acceptance that they did not get as a child is expressed in their sexual desires for other men as an adult.

I’m not equating a sex offender with a homosexual. I’m just pointing out that all humans express themselves sexually and when there our wounds in us sometimes these wounds get expressed sexually. This same principle can be applied to porn use. If you find yourself looking at something strange it might be because it relates to some abuse in your past.

Therefore if you want to stop looking at porn, sometimes the real issue is a wound or hurt in your past. Perhaps you need counseling not just because you are addicted to porn but also because you have been wounded in your past and need to find deep healing so these deep hurts can stop being expressed in deeply sinful ways.

People Look at Porn When They Are Mentally Tired

One reason some people look at porn is because they have not learned any other coping skills for a busy, racing mind. If you are mentally tired, if you have lots of anxiety, or if you are worried about something, sometimes all you want is an escape from your own thoughts. Not thinking about something can be very difficult to do.

Some people run to porn because when they are looking at it their brains are completely focused on the images and scenes they are watching. When your brain is completely focused on porn, you are not thinking about your other problems and issues.

Your brain never stops thinking. You can’t think about nothing. To replace bad thoughts you need to think about good thoughts. When sin mixes with our good desire for a mental break, oftentimes porn use is the result. Porn can often become so addicting not only because of the pleasure it produces but also because of the mental pain it can cause you to not experience for a short time.

The only problem is that you are replacing one problem with another problem. And often times the porn problem becomes even worse than the other problem you are running from. You started watching porn because you couldn’t stop thinking about work, but now you can’t work like a normal person because you can’t stop thinking about porn. You are ashamed and you don’t like thinking about how dark you have become. So to escape your thoughts of shame you just watch more porn because that’s the only way you know how to escape your mental torture.

So if you want to stop looking at porn, sometimes it’s a matter of learning to control your mind again and learning healthy mental coping skills. If you do not have control of your thoughts, the Bible says you will not have control of your body (Romans 8:6-11, Colossians 3:1-10)