What is God saying to a woman who has strong feelings for a man that are not going away? Is this a sign God wants this woman to wait for this man? Or is something else going on?
Here are 4 possible reasons for why God is not removing a woman’s feelings for a man
1. This Is Her Future Husband But the Man Just Needs More Time to Pursue Her
If it were up to us, we would all prefer that our feelings would perfectly match up with our future spouse’s feelings so we started liking each other at the exact same time. In reality, however, this rarely happens.
Thus, it’s certainly possible that God is not removing a woman’s feelings for a man because this would work against the Lord’s will. Perhaps instead of taking away your feelings for a guy, God will eventually give this guy feelings for you. If we always ran away from things that we had to wait for, we would miss out on many blessings the Lord wants to give.
Either way, sometimes you just need to wait longer to get more clarity from God. Lamentations 3:25, “The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him.”
2. The Woman Has Come to Believe This Is Her Future Husband Even Though He’s Not
While you might have feelings for this man because he’s going to be your future husband one day, that is certainly not the only possibility. We also have to consider the possibility that you have wrongly come to expect this man’s feelings will eventually change so you two can be together one day.
If you really like a man and you believe he has godly qualities, I think it is wise to give it some time to see what happens. However, after a few weeks or a few months, I believe it is much wiser to conclude that this is not the man God has for you if you like him but he has not yet pursued you.
While it is possible that a man’s feelings will change or he just needs more time to pursue you, it is unwise to give a man too much time and attention when his actions have not warranted this from you.
God does speak through facts occurring in reality (Isaiah 55:10-11). If there is no factual evidence that his man will ever pursue you, it’s very likely God has a much better relationship option in mind for you. You don’t want to miss out on what you could have because you are clinging so tightly to what you won’t have.
3. God Wants the Woman to Be More Proactive to Invite the Man’s Pursuit
Let’s flip back to the possibility that God does want you with this man. Sometimes God will give the woman stronger feelings for the man because he wants the woman to be motivated to invite the man to pursue.
Like the initial flame that lights a candle wick, sometimes a woman’s invitation is needed to spark the man’s pursuit. Her initial actions in the beginning can spark the man to pursue her in an ongoing way.
Notice that Ruth had feelings for Boaz which motivated her to invite his pursuit (Ruth 3:9). However, after this one act by Ruth, Boaz then took a series of action steps to pursue Ruth into marriage (Ruth 4). Likewise, you may need to send this man one signal to simply spark his ongoing pursuit of you.
4. God Wants the Woman to Focus on Other Relationship Opportunities But the Woman Is Resisting
God isn’t going to force you to move on. He respects our choices and will let us get stuck waiting for something if that is what we choose to do.
Of course he will be sending us signs that we could see if we wanted to see them. He won’t let his people take wrong turns if they are truly seeking after his will (Proverbs 3:5-6). However, if you don’t want to move on, if you don’t want to see the truth, if you are blocking your ears to God because you know he’s telling you to let this man go, your feelings for this man will remain.
One way to overcome this resistance is to dwell on the goodness of God. When you truly believe God desires what is best for you, you will be open to follow him even when he leads you away from a man you wish you could be with.
In the end, if you follow God faithfully, one day you will be able to look back with immense gratitude in your heart. You will see how miserable you would have been with this man. Or you will see how much better you fit with the man God does have for you.
Either way, if you follow the Lord, you will be able to testify to many, “Even when you wish you could have something that he’s not giving you, trust the Lord. He really does know best!”