1 Corinthians 7:36
I’m not saying that everything will always be clear when God wants you to date someone. Don’t think confusion is an automatic sign that God is saying no. As I’ve explained in other articles, while he does not cause it, God does allow confusion in relationships for very good reasons.
With that said, there will also be some signs that are very clear when the Lord is leading you to date someone. In this article, we will discuss five of those signs. Also, you should see most of these signs rather than just one or two before concluding God does really want you to date this person.
1. God Clearly Wants You to Date Someone If You Are Equally Yoked and You Are Romantically Attracted to This Person
Just because you are equally yoked with someone doesn’t mean God wants you to date them. You would also need to be romantically attracted to this person. God will give you a desire for the person he wants you to date (1 Corinthians 7:36).
However, if you are not equally yoked, it doesn’t matter if you really like this person. If you are a Christian and they are not a Christian, God does not want you to date them. Don’t play mental gymnastics. Don’t focus on all the people who dated an unbeliever and then that person became a Christian. Just obey God’s word.
2 Corinthians 6:14, “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers.” How can you date someone without being yoked to them? It’s not possible. While dating is not as severe a yoke as marriage, it clearly is a yoke.
While some have dated an unbeliever who then became a Christian, this was still a sin. Being unequally yoked always creates negative consequences that could have been avoided. God can save your future spouse without you violating his word. And while some unbelievers become a Christian while dating a believer, far more unbelievers simply pull down the believer they are dating.
God’s laws are not meant to limit our options. They are meant to protect us and guide us to the right person. If you are equally yoked and you are romantically attracted to this person, it probably means God does want you to date them!
2. God Clearly Wants You to Date This Person If They Want to Date You and You Want to Date Them
As I said in the intro of this article, these signs should be taken together. Thus, while it’s important for you to be romantically interested in this person, this person also needs to be romantically interested in you.
If you are both Christians who are romantically interested in each other, “Does God want us to date?” is not the best question to ask. Rather, a better question to ask would be, “Why wouldn’t God want us to date?”
Why would God deny two Christians who want to honor him in romance? God made romance (Genesis 2:18-25). It pleases him when his children want to be married and thus take steps to pursue that gift (Proverbs 18:22).
If there is not glaring reason for you and this other Christian not to date, it’s highly likely God is leading you two to date.
3. God Clearly Wants You to Date This Person If Your Heart Is Ready to Date in a Biblically Mature Way
As I just said, rather than looking for signs from God that he does want you to date this person, sometimes it’s more helpful to look for signs that mean you should not date them. The absence of red lights is itself a very strong green light.
One red light you should look for is your own heart’s inability to honor the Lord in a romantic relationship. Did you just get out of sinful relationship? Do you need more time to heal so you don’t end up repeating the same mistakes again? Are you paralyzed in fear because you are idolizing this man or woman?
Song Solomon 8:4 (NIV), “Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.” This means there is a time when love is ready to be awakened in a biblical way.
If you and another Christian both like each other and if both your hearts are prepared to honor the Lord, there’s no reason to assume God would deny you this. He’s probably telling you two to date.
4. God Clearly Wants You Date This Person If You Really Like Him or Her But You Are Unsure If They Are The One
Many Christians struggle to date someone because they are asking God about marriage. Rather than asking God, “Is this the person you want me to date right now?” they are asking God, “Is this person you want me to marry one day?”
God does not usually tell you to marry someone through a voice in your head. He’s going to speak through his word, through the Holy Spirit in your heart, and through the circumstances in your life. In other words, God will answer your questions about marriage through a process, which usually includes dating. God tells us to be wise (Proverbs 28:26). It’s not wise to make a big decision without many forms of confirmation (Proverbs 15:22).
When you know God does not want you marry someone, don’t date them. When you know God does want you to marry someone, marry them. If you are unsure if God wants you to marry someone, date them. Dating is one means through which God will reveal the one to you.
5. God Clearly Wants You to Date This Person If You Two Have Maxed Out Your Friendship But You Want to Keep Connecting More Deeply with Each Other
I think it’s great for Christian single men and women to be friends. However, they must always recognize there is a different dynamic when it comes to men and women connecting compared to men with men or women with women (1 Timothy 5:2).
Emotional pain occurs when a man and woman’s intimacy exceeded their commitment levels. When a Christian single man and woman are becoming very close friends, the only way to protect their hearts is for them to increase their commitment to each other (1 Corinthians 7:36).
Friendship is a wonderful foundation for romance. If a Christian man and woman have maxed out the healthy limits of friendship, this is a clear sign God wants them to begin dating so they can see if they should get married one day.
