1 Peter 3:1-6
I’m not saying that a woman can make any man want her if she does these five things.
Rather, I’m saying that when a godly man does find a woman irresistible, she will possess these 5 qualities to him.
1. When a Woman Is Irresistible to a Godly Man, He Will Be Spiritually Attracted to Her
A godly man’s first priority is Jesus. He takes seriously the warnings to avoid those things that might compete for God’s place in his heart (1 John 5:21).
Thus, when it comes to his desire for a woman, he will not pursue her unless he knows they are spiritually compatible. Yes, he will make sure they have the same theological beliefs, especially on the most important theological issues. Yes, he will only pursue a woman if they view the biblical roles of a husband and wife the same. Yes, he will make sure they could thrive in the same Christian community if they got married and raised a family.
But above all of this, he will know they are spiritually compatible when they both desire to put God above each other (1 Corinthians 7:29). If she is elevating him too highly or if she wants him to elevate her too highly, a godly man will know this is not the right woman for him.
2. When a Woman Is Irresistible to a Godly Man, He Will Be Emotionally Attracted to Her
After a godly man has checked the spiritual boxes with a woman, he will then make sure he can connect with her emotionally. A godly man has high emotional intelligence. This means he knows a physical attraction will not be enough to create a satisfying relationship with a woman for the course of his whole life.
He remembers what Proverbs 31:30 (NIV) states, “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”
3. When a Woman Is Irresistible to a Godly Man, He Will Be Physically Attracted to Her
While a godly man will prioritize his spiritual and emotional attraction towards a woman above his physical attraction towards her, this does not mean he will pursue a woman if he is not physically attracted to her.
Because people often elevate physical attraction too highly, Christians often react by devaluing physical attraction too little. It’s not sinful for a man and woman to only marry someone if they are physically attracted to them.
Yes, your spouse needs to be spiritually and emotionally compatible to you. However, God does expect a man and woman to desire each other sexually in marriage. Sex is not an option in marriage. It is a command (1 Corinthians 7:1-5). Biologically, to have sex, there must be some level of physical attraction in order for the mechanics of sex to actually work.
So a godly man is not going to be obsessed with marrying an airbrushed supermodel. He will not require unrealistic physical attributes in a woman before he pursues her. He will be able to see the inner beauty in the woman God has called him to marry (1 Peter 3:1-6). And when this man sees these desirable qualities in the woman God has for him, he will also be physically attracted to her.
4. When a Woman Is Irresistible to a Godly Man, She Will Be Able to Enhance His Effectiveness for Christ
Of a deacon’s wife, 1 Timothy 3:11 states, “Their wives likewise must be dignified, not slanderers, but sober-minded, faithful in all things.” If a man knows a woman will prevent him from serving the Lord in the ways he feels called to do so, he will not pursue that woman.
A godly man knows the value of a godly wife. She does not distract him from the Lord or hinder his giftedness. Rather, she becomes his partner and helps him use his gifts even more for God (Genesis 2:18).
5. When a Woman Is Irresistible to a Godly Man, He Will See that She Can Grow with Him in All the Future Roles They Will Need to Fulfill One Day
A godly man is not just thinking about today. He’s thinking about the future as well. Thus, he will only be drawn to a woman if he senses that she will be able to grow with him as time goes on.
In other words, a godly man knows he has future roles to fulfill that he’s not fulfilling right now. For example, a boyfriend and girlfriend might get along fine, but what happens when they become a husband and wife? A husband and wife might be good together, but what happens when they also become a father and mother to their children?
A godly man will know he’s found the right woman for him when he senses she will be able to grow with him to fulfill the future roles God will bless them with (Ephesians 5:22-33, 1 Peter 3:1-7).
