4 Subtle Signs a Man Is Thinking About You

Here are 4 subtle signs that often mean a man might be interested in you and has been thinking about you lately.

1. If He Justifies an Act of Kindness with the Phrase, “I Remember When You Said . . .” This Means He’s Been Thinking About You

Like Boaz who probably wanted to pursue Ruth but was waiting for the right sign (Ruth 3:10-11), a man will do things to feel out his chances with the woman he is interested in.

When a man first begins to like a woman, he will oftentimes try to think of ways to be kind to her without coming across too strong. He wants to feel her out to see if she might be interested in him too. Therefore, when he does think of something nice to do, he will often also think of a way to downplay this act of kindness in the hopes of not scaring her away.

To accomplish this goal, one phrase men often use is, “I remember when you said . . .”. For example, if he gets you a little birthday present, he will say, “I remember you mentioned it was your birthday today. I was at the store and saw this, so I thought I’d get it for you.”

When he justifies this act of kindness by stating how easy it was, he is subtly trying to downplay it and guard against being too open too soon.

2. If He References the Last Time He Saw You, This Usually Means He’s Been Thinking About You

In 2 Timothy 1:4, Paul said to Timothy, “As I remember your tears, I long to see you, that I may be filled with joy.” Apparently at their last departure from each other, Timothy was tearful. Paul was showing Timothy that he cared for Timothy by letting him know that Paul was thinking about their last time together. While this verse is simply referring to Christian love in general, it does show us the principle that you think about the last visit with someone that you really care about.

When we apply this principle to romantic relationships, one sign that a man has been thinking about you is when he makes references to the last time you saw each other. For example, if he sees you at church and says, “Hey, I remember last week you mentioned you had a job interview on Friday. How did it go?”

The fact that he remembered this is a good sign he’s probably been thinking about you.

3. If He Is Happily Surprised When He Sees You Unexpectedly, This Usually Means He’s Been Thinking About You

Sometimes the best way to get an honest read about someone’s feelings for you is to catch them off guard. Perhaps this is why Jesus promised, “Therefore you also must be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect” (Matthew 24:44). Jesus’ unexpected return to the world will reveal who has been truly living for him and who has not. 

In a less important way but in a similar fashion, when someone likes you, seeing them in an unexpected way might reveal the truth to you. They might be intentionally guarded when they know they are going to see you. However, when you see this person in an unexpected place, they will often appear much happier than normal because they did not have time to prepare themselves to be as guarded as they normally are.

For example, when you’ve only seen a guy at church but then you randomly see him at the grocery store, he will probably seem very casual when you approach. “Oh, hey, Amy. Small world. How you been?” That’s not a bad interaction. But it doesn’t really tell you much one way or the other.

However, if a guy has been thinking about you and then you see him at the store, he might respond with, “Oh my gosh! Amy, what are you doing here? I didn’t know you shopped here. What’s up? How you been?” His wordy, extra excitement is a subtle sign he’s probably been thinking about you and is a bit shocked to suddenly see you standing right in front of him.

4. If He Takes Your Recommendation on Something, This Means He’s Been Thinking About You

In 2 Timothy 2:1-6, Paul gives Timothy very practical advice on how to live his life. In 2 Timothy 2:7, he then states, “Think over what I say, for the Lord will give you understanding in everything.” How will Paul know if Timothy thought about what he said? He will know by seeing Timothy apply these principles to his life.

Likewise, it’s a sign someone has really thought about what we’ve said when they actually take our counsel and apply it to their lives. When it comes to romance, someone will be eager to take a tip you give. For example, if you said to a guy, “You would be really good at serving in the youth group. I think those young guys would really look up to you,” and then this guy comes up to you and says, “Hey, I took your advice and decided to serve in the youth group,” this is a good sign he really thought about what you said.

I’m not encouraging you to tell a man what to do. But when you share your opinion or give a little advice and then a man receives this and applies it to his life, that’s a great sign he’s been thinking about you.