If you are a single Christian woman, how will you know when a man truly loves you?
Here are 5 signs a Christian man really loves you. Also, please note that I am not saying these signs guarantee that a man truly loves you. No one can know the inner heart of another human except God. However, these 5 signs are strong evidence of true love.
1. When a Man Truly Loves You, He Chooses You Clearly and Lets Go of Other Options
A man who truly loves you won’t keep you as one option among many. He will make you the option. True love is like a spotlight following a specific person, not a flashlight randomly focusing on different people as they pass by.
If he’s still flirting with other women, keeping emotional ties to exes, or acting single while talking to you, that’s not love. Love is focused. Love is intentional. It takes time for this love to build. But it’s clear a man is not there yet if he hasn’t made you his one relationship priority.
For example, God’s love for his people is expressed through a holy jealousy (Exodus 34:14). God’s jealousy isn’t insecurity. It’s passionate, covenant love. It’s the kind of love that says, “I want all of you because I’ve already given you all of me.”
Likewise, when a man truly loves you, he will want all of your devotion because he will be giving you all of his devotion.
2. When a Man Truly Loves You, He Will Resist His Flesh and Seek to Honor You Sexually
One of the worst traits of modern man has unfortunately taken a stronghold in the church as well. Many guys (and women) are unwilling to wait to have sex before marriage.
Not only is this a sign that this man does not really love God, but it is also a sign that he does not really love you. If a man really loved you, he would commit to you in marriage before having sex. A man who demands sex before marriage shows that he is just interested in your body and does not really love you.
Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.” (1 Corinthians 6:18-20)
3. A Man Who Really Loves You Will Want to Serve You Rather than Just Being Served By You
If you want to know if a man truly loves you, you have to remember what true love is. In John 15:13, Jesus said, “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.” True love is serving the other person. True love is doing what’s best for them, even at great cost to yourself.
If a man demands service from you rather than demonstrating sacrificial service to you, this is a sign that he does not really love you.
4. When a Man Truly Loves You, He Will Do Things with You Even If He Doesn’t Love Doing Those Things
Sacrificial love doesn’t always need to be expressed in heroic or epic ways. Most of the time, true love will be expressed in daily sacrifices that might even go unnoticed much of the time.
Simple things like picking the show he knows you want to watch, picking the restaurant he knows you really enjoy, going to an event he really doesn’t want to go to but he does it for you – these are the type of daily sacrifices that express true love.
It’s certainly not wrong for a man to do things he likes to do, too. But if he never considers you in practical ways and always puts himself first, this is a sign that he does not really love you (Philippians 2:3-4).
5. When a Man Truly Loves You, He Will Want to Marry You
The clearest sign that a Christian woman should look for from a man who truly loves her is marriage. If a man never asks you to marry him, this is a sign he does not truly love you. I’m not saying a man should skip the wise dating process, but if he loves you or is building towards real love, he will also be making movements towards marriage (Ephesians 5:25).
Love without commitment is not possible. And since the greatest commitment a man and woman can make is marriage, true love always leads to this covenant.
