Is God putting you on a man’s heart who is a bit on the shy side?
Sometimes, with more reserved men, it can be hard to know what they are feeling. As a woman, when you’re pursued by a shy guy, there are some helpful signs you should be aware of so you can properly interpret what is going on. That way, if you don’t like him romantically, you can avoid sending him the wrong message, but if you do like him, you can make sure you are sending him the right message.
Therefore, here are 4 signs God is leading a shy guy to pursue you. Also, in most of my articles, I try to give a biblical principle to lead each of my points. While I will use Scripture in this article, I do think this is one of those topics where I am basing my points more on my opinion than on applying biblical principles.
1. If a Guy Is Trying to Talk with You Even Though You Can Tell He’s Uncomfortable, He Could Be Just Be a Shy Guy Who Likes You
At the beginning of this article, I said that God could be putting you on a man’s heart. However, that can be true while it is also true that God is not putting him on your heart. Why would God ever put you on his heart if you don’t like him?
There are a few possible answers to that question. First, God could be using his feelings for you as a way of growing him and maturing him. Perhaps God is leading this man to pursue you even though you will reject him so that this man can get experience doing things that get him out of his comfort zone. As a sister in Christ, you can kindly commend this man for pursuing you while also gently letting him know that you aren’t romantically interested in him. Hebrews 10:24, “And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works . . .”
For example, you could say, “I’m flattered that you would ask me on a date. Thank you. However, I don’t see you in that way. But I really respect your boldness. I’m sure the Lord will lead you to the right woman one day.” Who knows, you could be helping a future marriage form by giving him encouragement that his pursuit is healthy, even though you didn’t accept. By him gaining experience with discomfort, God may be using you to help this brother prepare to pursue the woman who will want to be with him.
Another possibility is that you may not like this man now, but by pushing through his fears and shyness, you may get to see a different side of him that you do begin to enjoy. A lot of times, a shy guy will be uncomfortable at first. But then when he gets to know a woman, he totally transforms into a very confident man who will satisfy her emotional needs in very deep ways.
Either way, if a guy is trying to connect with you even though it’s obvious that he’s really uncomfortable, this is probably just a sign that he’s a shy guy who likes you.
2. If a Guy Isn’t Using His Words a Lot But He’s Trying to Be Nice to You, That Could Just Mean He’s Shy and He Likes You
If a man is on the shy side, that means he will probably be very careful to hide his emotions. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have strong emotions for you. It just means it will be hard for you to sense them.
Now, this fact can tempt many women into believing a guy does like her but that he is just shy. However, in many instances, some guys aren’t showing emotions because the woman has misread the signs and they don’t have those feelings. And sometimes a guy really is shy and a woman may like that guy, but that man will not actually like her. He will just be awkward around her because he’s awkward around everyone.
So how can you really know if a shy guy is hiding his emotions from you? Well, if a shy guy really does have feelings for you, those feelings will motivate him to do something. If he’s not much of a talker or if he is just too nervous at first to share his feelings for you, this will probably result in him being extra eager to use his actions to show you how he feels.
A quiet man is often the one running up behind you so he can open the door for you as you walk into church. He’s often the one pulling out your chair if you’re about to sit down. He might even surprise you with a thoughtful gift coupled with some excuse like, “Oh, I remember you mentioned that you like this author. I randomly saw this book on sale, so I picked it for you.”
3. A Shy Guy Will Treat You Differently Than He Treats Other Women
If a shy guy likes you, it’s important to remember that he’s still a guy. One sign that will help you know if any guy likes you is by observing how he treats you compared to other women. When a guy talks to everyone and is super outgoing, his conversations and openness with you probably don’t mean anything. However, if the social guy gets nervous and quiet around you, that could mean he’s interested.
Likewise, if a shy guy likes you, you should notice some sort of difference between how he treats you and how he treats other women. For example, he may be a lot more relaxed around you. Or maybe he is even more shy. Either way, if he actually likes you, there will be some difference in how he interacts with you compared to other women.
When a man meets the right woman, that woman isn’t better than every other woman. However, to him, that woman is better than every other woman (Proverbs 31:29).
4. If a Shy Guy Likes You, He Will Pursue You
In the end, no matter what barrier blocks a man from pursuing a woman, if he likes her enough, he will overcome it. The fact is, if a man is just too shy to pursue a woman, that means he doesn’t like her enough to overcome the barrier of his shyness. But when that man meets the right woman, he will overcome his shyness and pursue her.
It’s similar to our love for Christ. The Bible says that we can claim to love God, but our love will be proven when we actually obey him with our actions (James 2:17, 1 John 5:3, John 14:15). Likewise, if a man’s desires for a woman are real, he will always pursue her. If he doesn’t, his desire was simply not strong enough for her.
I say all of that because, eventually, if a guy isn’t pursuing you, it doesn’t matter if it’s because he’s too shy or if it’s for some other reason. Just let his lack of pursuit be the answer you are wondering about.
When God brings the right guy, even if he’s shy, that man won’t let anything get in the way of his pursuit of you.
