John 15:18-19
Here are 4 signs God often uses when he’s warning a woman about a bad relationship with a man.
1. If the Holy Spirit’s Conviction Is Overruling Your Personal Desires, God Is Protecting You from a Bad Relationship
One of the marks of a true Christian is a willing submission to the Holy Spirit’s personal conviction in your life. We won’t be perfect and thus we will often need to repent. However, if we always follow our own will and never follow what the Lord is leading us to do, this means we are not a true Christian. As Jesus said, “My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me” (John 10:27).
In love, when a Christian woman is presented with a relationship opportunity that has sinful qualities to it, the Holy Spirit will bring conviction. By pointing out specific Bible verses and helping this woman wisely applies these truths to this situation with this man, the Holy Spirit will let her know when she’s about to make a huge mistake.
Galatians 5:16, “But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.”
2. God Is Protecting You from a Bad Relationship If This Man Has Rejected You Because of Your Christian Morals
A man’s rejection is often God’s protection. In other words, sometimes a man’s lack of interest is a gift from God. In the moment it might not feel that way. But if we could see the big picture and all the pain God spared us by stopping bad relationships before they even started, we would praise the Lord.
This is especially clear when you know a man rejected you because of your Christian standards. If a godless man figures out that you are not going to sleep with him before marriage, he will stop pursuing you. Be happy when this happens. You don’t want a man like this anyways. In John 15:18-19, Jesus said:
If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.”
3. If This Man’s Sin Patter Was Exposed Through Being Triggered in Your Presence, This Is God Warning You
Just as you have issues you are still working on, the man God has for you will also be working on issues too. The real mark of a Christian who is prepared to be in a healthy relationship is not perfection but the willingness to repent of one’s imperfections. As 2 Corinthians 3:17-18 explains:
Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.”
When we apply these truths to our topic at hand, this means you should look for a man who is free from sin because the Spirit is with him. However, you should also expect him to also be in the process of being transformed as he comes closer and closer to the Lord in a personal way.
Thus, when a man is living in a sin in an active way and not repenting, he’s not the man God wants you with. It can be hard to know if a man has a hidden sin because . . . well . . . it’s hidden.
In love, God will allow you to witness this man getting triggered so his sinful pattern is exposed to you: A burst of anger that goes unconfessed. A harsh word without any remorse and apology. A sudden relentless push for sex before marriage. Don’t ignore these warning signs. God is showing you this to protect you.
4. If God Has Given You Peace to Know It’s Not a Good Fit Even Though This Is a Good Man, God Is Protecting You from a Relationship that Would Be Bad for You
Sometimes a man has all the qualities to be a godly husband. Sometimes he doesn’t have a hidden sin or some evil behavior God is sparing you from. Rather, sometimes two mature Christians simply do not create a great team together.
While this type of man would not be “bad” for you in the sinful sense, he would be a bad match for you because it would prevent you from being the person God wants you to be. If you and a man need to change core parts of your personality and desires in order to be together, you are going to be unhappy together.
Remember, God wants a husband and wife to “fit” together (Genesis 2:18). When God reveals the right man to you, you will both be free to enjoy each other rather than needing to change each other.
