Words will always be necessary if you want a man to pursue you. Without verbal communication, a relationship cannot blossom and grow.
However, there are many things besides words that draw a man to a woman. What are they?
Here are 7 unspoken cues that make a man pursue a woman.
1. Your Reputation Can Make a Man Pursue You
While we should always give someone a chance to show their true self directly to us rather than taking other people’s word for it, there is also wisdom in acknowledging the reputation someone has earned among other people.
Before Boaz said anything to Ruth, he asked who she was. Ruth 3:6 (NIV) states, “The overseer replied, ‘She is the Moabite who came back from Moab with Naomi.” Notice he did not say she was “a” Moabite. Rather, he said she was “the” Moabite. Ruth’s faithfulness to Naomi gave her a positive reputation in Bethlehem.
If you have a godly reputation amongst your Christian community, this makes a godly man want to pursue you. As Boaz also said to Ruth, “All the people of my town know that you are a woman of noble character” (Ruth 3:11, NIV).
2. Your Presence Can Make a Man Pursue You
A man cannot pursue what he cannot see. It sounds so simple that we often do not acknowledge the importance of simply being visible.
Ruth 2:3 (NIV) states, “So she went out, entered a field and began to glean behind the harvesters. As it turned out, she was working in a field belonging to Boaz, who was from the clan of Elimelek.” If Ruth stayed home, Boaz would never have seen her.
Likewise, if you want a man to pursue you, you have to at least be around this man.
3. Your Absence Can Make a Man Pursue You
Once you and man have gained a connection together, sometimes you need to leave his presence so that he will pursue you. Some men will not pursue until they realize they are losing you. It’s not that he is trying to be negligent. Sometimes he just needs a wakeup call to realize he needs to act or else he will lose you.
Ruth 2:23 (NIV) states, “So Ruth stayed close to the women of Boaz to glean until the barley and wheat harvests were finished.” Once the harvest was over, Boaz would not see Ruth anymore at his field. This sparked Ruth’s invitation and Boaz’s pursuit.
4. Your Intentions Can Make a Man Pursue You
What you if say the wrong thing? What if you try too hard? What if you don’t try hard enough? What if . . . ?
A good man is not going to judge you like a legalistic Pharisee. Rather, as any mature Christian can do, he will sense when your intentions are good. If you truly desire to bless a man and love him from a pure place in your heart, he will sense your good intentions for him and he will want to keep pursuing you.
As Proverbs 31:11 says of the noble wife, “Her husband has full confidence in her . . .”
5. Your Lack of Attention on Other Men Can Make a Man Pursue You
When a man sees you with another man, no words are needed. He assumes you and this man are romantically interested in each other. Thus, the opposite is true too. If a man does not see you with other men, he will assume your heart is not focused on some other man. He will feel like he has a chance to pursue you.
As Boas said to Ruth, “You have not run after the younger men, whether rich or poor” (Ruth 3:10).
6. Your Friends Can Make a Man Pursue You
Ruth left godless Moab and went to God’s land of Bethlehem (Ruth 1:22). She even left her sister-in-law, Orpah, who was a widow like her and was probably a close friend. Ruth clung to Naomi, the only godly friend she had (Ruth 1:14).
The company you keep communicate something about you. If you surround yourself with worldly women, this man will assume you are that type of woman as well. If, however, you choose your friends carefully and surround yourself with other women who love Jesus, this too will communicate the right message to a godly man.
7. Your Devotion to Christ Can Make a Godly Man Pursue You
Before Boaz pursued Ruth, he knew that Ruth had already pursued the Lord (Ruth 1:16-17). A mature Christian man who loves the Lord will always wait to pursue a woman until he knows for certain that she loves the Lord too (Proverbs 31:30).
You won’t need to say anything to this man about your love for Christ because he will see it in the way that you live. 1 Peter 3:1-2 explains that wives’ influence on their husband’s goes beyond words and occurs through their Christian character; thus husbands will be influenced “without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct.”
A godly man wants a wife like this. If he sees “the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit” (1 Peter 3:4, NIV) in you, this will make him pursue you.