Genesis 2:24, Ephesians 5:21-33, 1 Corinthians 7:1-5
Here are 5 things God will do when you meet the right person and it’s the right time for you two to be together.
1. When You Meet The One and It’s the Right Time, You Will Know Marriage Will Assist Your Service to God More Than Singleness Would
Before God will make it clear “who” he wants you to marry one day, God will first make it clear to you that you should pursue marriage in general and not a life of singleness. There’s a lot that goes into this decision, but essentially it all boils down to which lifestyle most benefits your walk with God.
Some will serve God better through singleness and some will serve God better through marriage. Neither one is right for all people. Paul loved his singleness, which was a sign he was called to singleness. But he also humbly acknowledged that God gifts each Christian with either the gift of singleness or the gift of marriage. In 1 Corinthians 7:7 he states, “I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.”
We all will go through a season where we will be able to serve God best in singleness. But for most Christians, that season comes to an end and then God makes it clear that we will best serve him through marriage. When it’s the right time to be with the one, God will have already made it clear to you that you will serve him best through marriage.
2. When You Meet The Right One and It’s the Right Time, God Will Show You That This Specific Person Is the Right Ministry Partner for You
God will first help you realize if he has equipped you for a life of singleness or for a life of marriage. If it becomes clear that you should pursue marriage because that will enhance your walk with God and increase your fruit in ministry, the next thing God will do is reveal the specific person he wants you with.
Just because you know you are called to marriage is not a sign you can just marry anyone. God wants us to be equally yoked, which is a metaphor meant to highlight how we are to team up with others in service to God. If two oxen were different sizes and plowed at different speeds, it would be impossible for them to work together. God wants us equally yoked in marriage because a husband and wife are called to be a team glorifying God together. A prime example of this in the New Testament was Priscilla and Aquilla.
In Acts 18:1-4, we see how they teamed up with Paul. In Acts 18:26, we see how they helped Apollos. In Romans 16:3-4 (NIV), Paul wrote, “Greet Priscilla and Aquila, my fellow workers in Christ Jesus, who risked their necks for my life, to whom not only I give thanks but all the churches of the Gentiles give thanks as well.”
A husband and wife don’t need to have the same spiritual gifts. They don’t need to have an official ministry together or both be in church leadership. But God has called every husband and wife to work together in his service as equal heirs of his gracious gift of new life (1 Peter 3:7, 2 Corinthians 5:14-15).
3. When You Meet The Right One and It’s the Right Time, God Will Have Already Equipped You Both to Fulfill the Minimum Requirements of a Biblical Marriage
How will you know when God is telling you to marry someone? There are certainly subjective answers to this question that are important and true for each individual. God will write each story in a unique way and thus he will make his will clear to us all in unique ways too.
With that said, while God does reveal his will to us all in unique ways, he also reveals certain parts of his will to us all in the same way, mainly through his Scriptures. God has not created many rules for relationships, but he has created some.
I believe there are basically three biblical requirements that must be present if God is truly telling you to marry someone. One, both of you will be professing Christians (2 Corinthians 6:14, 1 Corinthians 7:39). Anyone can claim to be a Christian, so the Bible teaches us that true Christians are always bearing fruit for God. Therefore, the second requirement needed for you to marry someone is that you both are bearing fruit for God as evidence of your true salvation (Galatians 5:16-26).
But a true Christian who is bearing fruit for God will still go through seasons of life where they are not prepared to fulfill the biblical role of a husband or wife. For example, a teenage Christian may be bearing lots of fruit for God but they may still be in high school, still financially dependent on their parents, and not mature enough yet to experience marriage.
Therefore, the third requirement needed for a biblical marriage is that the man and woman are both prepared to fulfill the biblical roles of a husband and wife. This isn’t the article to fully unpack what those roles are for husbands and wives, but it’s clear that when a man and woman become a husband and wife they are obligated to each other in unique ways and are called to separate from their former family units (Genesis 2:24, Ephesians 5:21-33, 1 Corinthians 7:1-5).
So when you meet the right person and it’s the right time, you won’t be perfect. You will always be growing with the Lord. But God will have already equipped you both to fulfill these three minimum biblical requirements for a Christian marriage.
4. When You Meet The Right One and It’s the Right Time, There Will Still Be Circumstantial Barriers to Your Relationship But You Two Will Both Be Willing to Overcome Them with the Lord’s Strength
This quote by C.S. Lewis has been a blessing to me over the years. He wrote, “If we let ourselves, we shall always be waiting for some distraction or other to end before we can really get down to our work. The only people who achieve much are those who want knowledge so badly that they seek it while the conditions are still unfavorable. Favorable conditions never come.”
This idea is true of relationships as well. Yes, there is a timing element that needs to be present when you meet the person God wants you to marry. But eventually you will have to accept that there is no such thing as a “perfect time” for anything in life.
There will never be a “perfect time” to start dating and get married. But when it’s the “right time” God will give you both the strength to overcome whatever obstacles are present in your life. Just as nothing can separate us from the love of God (Romans 8:39), when God wants you and someone else to reflect his love for the church through marriage (Ephesians 5:32), nothing will be able to separate you from each other.
5. When You Meet The Right One and It’s the Right Time, You Will Both Know It’s Time to Get Married
In point 3 of this article, we discussed three biblical requirements for marriage. I believe there is at least a fourth, which is a mutual willingness to marry each other. Love can’t be forced. Marriage is a biblical option for those who want it and not a biblical command for those who don’t want it.
So when it’s the right time and you meet the right person, you will both want to marry each other. As 1 Corinthians 7:36-37 explains:
If anyone thinks that he is not behaving properly toward his betrothed, if his passions are strong, and it has to be, let him do as he wishes: let them marry—it is no sin. But whoever is firmly established in his heart, being under no necessity but having his desire under control, and has determined this in his heart, to keep her as his betrothed, he will do well.”
To learn about signs that you have met the right person but it is the wrong time, you can read my article called 4 Things God Will Do When You Meet the Right Person at the Wrong Time.
