Here are 5 things that often happen when God is opening a door for you to be in a relationship with someone.
1. When God Is Opening a Relationship Door for You, There Will Be Small But Continuous Progressions Forward Between You and This Person
Building a godly relationship is very similar to constructing a solid building. While most of us are drawn to the external décor of a house such as the paint on the walls, the appliances in the kitchen, or the color of the carpet on the floor, these types of things are actually the finishing touches of a good house. These things can be added quite quickly compared to the more important parts of a good house like the foundation, the insulation, the plumbing, the electrical, and the roof – all of which take lots of time and effort to install properly.
Likewise, when it comes to a godly relationship, the important things will take time to build. While many people experience instant excitement, instant attraction, and perhaps even an instant communication connection – the important parts of this relationship will take time. For example, you can’t expect to instantly have each other’s full trust. Trust is built slowly over time. You can’t expect to know each other’s love language instantly. It takes time to really understand how someone receives love.
So early on, if a relationship door is really opening between you and another person, there should be a slow and steady growth in your connection with this person. May we apply the wisdom of Jesus found in Matthew 7:24-27. This passage is about life in general, but it certainly helps us understand valuable principles for building a glorifying relationship as well. It states:
Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.”
2. When God Is Opening a Relationship Door for You, There Will Usually Be a Lack of Issues Early on in the Connection Between You Two
An important topic that often gets ignored early on in relationship opportunities is something I refer to as “relationship equity.” In overly simplified financial terms, equity is the amount of value you have gained with something. For example, if you have $50,000 worth of equity in your home, you could in theory use that for other things. But you would not be able to use $60,000 of equity from your home because that would be $10,000 over. I’m obviously not a financial expert but I think you get the point here.
When it comes to “relationship equity,” this same logic applies. When a relationship is new, it is usually not strong enough to handle any setbacks because you have not built up enough equity together yet. Anytime something hard happens between two people, there is an emotional withdraw that is needed from their emotional bank accounts. If the needed withdraw is too great, the relationship won’t be able to withstand the problems facing them.
Certainly once two people get into a serious relationship there will be problems that they will need to work through, but at that time they will have had time to gain more relationship equity with each other.
3. When God Is Opening a Relationship Door for You, the Timing Will Be Right for You Both to Start a Relationship
Certainly life will always be full of other obligations, but there are seasons in life where we are more prepared and able to explore a relationship with someone. Sometimes it’s schooling. Sometimes it’s a career. Sometimes it’s another relationship between this person and someone else. Or sometimes one of you needs time to heal before starting a new relationship. But when God is really opening a relationship door for you, this won’t be an issue and you both will be in a season where you feel released to explore a relationship together. Acts 1:6-7 states:
So when they had come together, they asked [Jesus], ‘Lord, will you at this time restore the kingdom to Israel?’ He said to them, ‘It is not for you to know times or seasons that the Father has fixed by his own authority.’”
This Bible passage refers to much more important things than dating. It is referring to the times and seasons of God’s kingdom. But, in this passage we see a principle in which we can apply to relationships. God is the one who is ultimately in control of “times or seasons” which “the Father has fixed by his own authority.”
When God is opening a relationship door for you, both of you will be in a season where you can align and explore a relationship together.
4. When God Is Opening a Relationship Door for You, There Will Be a Mutual Reciprocation of Expressed Interest
We all know that for every action there is a reaction. Many people end up having lots of fear when they like someone because they know whatever they choose to do next will cause a reaction one way or the other from this person that they like.
While it makes sense of why this causes fear, it can also be true that this fact about actions and reactions should be a source of comfort as well. Every Christian wants to know what God wants for them when it comes to a relationship option they are exploring. One way God will reveal his will to you is by the reactions that occur when you take an action.
In other words, when God is opening a door for you with someone, that person will respond positively when you act positively towards them. Notice that in Christ’s pursuit of his Bride, the Church, she must actually open the door when he knocks. Revelations 3:20 states, “Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me.”
The love relationship between a man and woman is to reflect the love relationship between Christ and the church (Ephesians 5:22-33). So when God is really opening a relationship door for you, there will be mutual reciprocation when one of you expresses interest just as we must respond to God when he initiates a relationship with us.
5. When God Is Opening a Relationship Door for You, Those Things Outside of Your Control Will Work in Your Favor
As Christians, relationships will always be tricky because there is an element of trust and waiting needed for God to do the things only he can do; but there is also an important element of stepping out in faith and actually making the moves we need to make to receive the relationship blessings God desires to give us.
One of the best ways to navigate this often-confusing balance is to take ownership of what is in your control and completely let go of those things that are out of your control. In other words, do what you can do but then leave the results to God.
You can control if you go to the places where this person will probably be so you can get to know him or her more. But you can’t control if that person will for sure be there or not. You can control when you choose to talk to someone you like. But you can’t control how that person will respond. You can control if you choose to invite this person to spend time with you. But you can’t control if this person will accept.
Our God is the great “way maker.” If he wants something for you, he will make a way. For as Isaiah 43:19 states, “Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.”
There are many things that we are responsible for when it comes to relationships, but there are millions of things that are simply out of our control. When God is opening a relationship door for you, those doors that only he can open will be opened.