5 Ways to Marry the Wrong Person

When I say that you can marry the wrong person, I don’t mean that this will justify a divorce. In a way, once you are married, you are married to the right person because God wants you to stay married to that person unless a biblical reason for divorce occurs and then you want to part ways.

Additionally, there will always be some unknowns when thinking about our choices and God’s sovereignty. Everything that happens is under God’s control; and we can make bad choices that God did not want us to make.

So the heart behind this article is to help Christian singles avoid marrying someone that they are not compatible with spiritually or personally, which will make their marriages much more difficult.

Therefore, here are 5 ways to marry the wrong person so you can avoid doing them.

1. You Will Marry the Wrong Person If You Think Marriage Will Solve a Problem You Are Having in the Relationship Before Marriage

Marriage should never be viewed as a solution to a problem. Rather, marriage should always be viewed as a way of continuing to grow with someone as you travel further down the road of love that you are already on.

If you are on the wrong road with someone, if you two are having problems, if the love is not increasing, marriage is not going to solve any of these problems. In fact, it will usually just make them worse.

Marriage simply intensifies what you are already experiencing with someone in dating. If you two are enjoying one another, learning to love one another, and serving together, marriage will give you the ability to do these things in a greater way. But if you are already fighting in unhealthy ways and at each other’s throats, marriage will give you a greater ability to do these things as well.

Marriage will not give you a firm foundation for love. Following the teachings of Jesus will give you a firm foundation (Matthew 7:24-27). If you aren’t following the teachings of Jesus before marriage, you are going to struggle when the storms come in marriage.

2. You Will Marry the Wrong Person If You Think God Is Calling You to Marry an Unbeliever So They Can Get Saved

Many have wrongly used 1 Corinthians 7:12-16 as justification to marry an unbeliever. This passage was specifically written to people who were already married. It states that a believing spouse should not divorce an unbelieving spouse unless that unbeliever wants to divorce.

This was especially relevant information at the time of Paul’s writing since the gospel was just spreading; thus, it was more common at that time for one spouse in marriage to get saved while the other spouse did not always choose the gospel like they did.

Put simply, it’s unbiblical to marry an unbeliever, even if your motive is to help them get saved (2 Corinthians 6:14, 1 Corinthians 7:39, Ephesians 5:7).

3. You Will Marry the Wrong Person If You Are Marrying This Person for Short-Term Reasons

The “why” in your choice to marry someone will help you determine if you are on the right or wrong road. Marriage itself is a very good thing that was created by God for his glory and our good. But you can use a good thing in the wrong way, which leads to sin.

If you marry someone for sex, because they are fun, because you are afraid you will always be alone if you don’t, because you don’t want to waste all that time you’ve already invested in this person – if you are primarily choosing to marry someone for a reason rooted in short-term pleasure, you will regret that choice.

As Jesus said, everything on earth gets destroyed, so always store up your treasures in heaven (Matthew 6:19-21). Marriage will bring a lot of short-term pleasure too, but you must only marry someone if you know it will bring glory to God in the short and long-term.

4. You Will Marry the Wrong Person If You Isolate Yourself from Wise Counsel Because You Know What They Will Say

Many times we don’t ignore people’s warnings because we did a good job avoiding people who would care enough to warn us in the first place. When we start sinning and don’t want to repent right now, we usually avoid other Christians because we already know what they are going to say.

If you are isolating yourself from people who are going to say what you don’t want to hear, this is a great way to end up marrying the wrong person. Proverbs 18:1, “Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment.”

5. You Will Marry the Wrong Person If You Marry Someone Who Loves You More than They Love God

You will never be enough to forever satisfy another human. Yes, true love is possible in marriage. But that love must ultimately flow from God.

He alone provides the well of love that never runs dry (John 4:13-14).

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