5 Struggles God Uses to Form Your Future Marriage

It’s a lie to say that when God leads you to your future spouse, you will know it because everything will be so easy.

Sure, some things should be easy. If the relationship is just hard and you can’t naturally form a bond with this person, then this is not the right person for you. However, even when God does lead you to the right person, there will still be hardships.

In fact, God actually uses these hard things to form the bond he wants to create between you and your future spouse. Therefore, here are 5 struggles God uses to form your future marriage.

1. God Uses the Struggle of Sanctification to Form Your Future Marriage

Before you and your future spouse come together, God will be doing a work in both of your hearts, rooting out sinful strongholds and preparing you to live a holy life in marriage together.

Notice the language Paul uses in Colossians 1:28-29, “Him we proclaim, warning everyone and teaching everyone with all wisdom, that we may present everyone mature in Christ. For this I toil, struggling with all his energy that he powerfully works within me.” We must toil and struggle as we use the energy God gives us to mature in Christ.

This is never easy. We want to be perfect, but we aren’t (Romans 7:22-25). And yet, because the power of Christ is in us as true Christians, we will never give up. We will always keep repenting, always keep fighting, and always keep seeking the Lord.

While the sanctification process is most important for our relationship with God, this is also one way God prepares you for your spouse. If you’re being sanctified right now, this struggle is a part of forming your future marriage too.

2. If Someone Is Helping You Escape Temptation, God Could Be Using that to Form Your Future Marriage

Marriages are at their healthiest when two people are full of the love of Christ and then come to offer that love to each other. It doesn’t go well when we are empty of love and go to each other to find what we lack.

So I’m not saying you should seek a person as the main solution to any sin in your life. However, God’s word does say that other people can help us overcome temptation by helping our walk with Jesus. Marriage is also used by God as a means of helping people overcome certain temptations (1 Corinthians 7:9).

1 Corinthians 10:13, “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.”

Therefore, if someone is being used by God to help you escape a certain temptation in your life, that’s a great sign this person could be your future partner.

3. If You and Someone Are Suffering Together But It’s Building Both of Your Character Too, This Could Be God Forming Your Future Marriage

Romans 5:3-5, “Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.”

While this verse is not about relationships, certainly the principles here relate to the ways in which God builds up a couple so they possess the character necessary to thrive in marriage one day.

Sometimes problems tear people a part. If that’s happening, this person is not the one for you. While it will be a struggle to overcome your problems in a relationship, when God is in it, those issues will develop your character as a couple.

4. If You Are Both Learning the Secret to True Contentment, This Is a Good Sign God Is Forming Your Future Marriage

Philippians 4:11-13, “Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.”

Perhaps one of the hardest struggles a couple has to go through to thrive in a relationship is to first accept that true contentment cannot be found in a human relationship but only in Christ Jesus.

This is hard to realize until you experience the struggles that remain in your life even after you find true love. It’s natural to assume that the right person will be marked by a deep contentment. But the truth is, we will always feel incomplete until we are full in Christ

When two people are both learning this important lesson, that’s a powerful sign God is planning on putting them together so they can thrive for the Lord.

5. If You Both Are Learning How to Die for Each Other, This Is a Good Sign God Is Forming Your Future Marriage

In John 15:12-13, Jesus states, “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.”

The truth is, in our sin, we are all selfish. However, when the Spirit of God comes into us, we will want to repent of our selfishness and we will be filled with true love, which will motivate us to make real sacrifices for those we love.

If you and someone are learning how to express true love, which always involves real sacrifices, this a great sign God may be preparing you both for marriage together.