If you are a Christian single person who wants to be married one day, are you doing something wrong? Why is it taking so long to meet “the one” God has for you? Past sins? Passivity? Trying too hard?
Maybe. Or it could be that it’s just not God’s timing for you to be married right now. In this article, we will discuss 4 signs in someone’s life that could indicate they are still single simply because it’s just not God’s timing for them to be married yet.
1. If There’s No Blatant Barrier Blocking You from the Relationship You Desire, It’s Probably Just Not God’s Timing
It’s certainly possible that God wants some of you to be married sooner rather than later, but there are personal choices you are making that are hindering this blessing from coming into your life. However, if that was happening, the Holy Spirit would also be lovingly convicting you, letting you know what needs to change. For example:
- Dating the wrong types of people who don’t love Christ like you do will keep you single.
- Engaging in sexual sin will keep you away from God’s choice for you.
- Being a recluse and running from Christian community will keep you single.
- Idolizing a relationship and always pressuring people to marry you will keep you single.
- Refusing to invite a man’s pursuit when you’re interested or pursue a woman when you’re interested will keep you single.
- Waiting for the wrong person will keep you from the right person.
On and on we could go. And so, it’s certainly wise to spend time in prayer asking the Holy Spirit to reveal anything you are doing that might be keeping you from meeting the right person.
Don’t force there to be a problem though. If there really is a problem that is in your control to change, the Spirit will expose this to you if you are humble and ready to hear. If nothing comes to mind when you pray, the simplest explanation for your lack of a relationship is that it’s just not God’s timing for you yet.
Like a seed planted in good soil that has everything it needs—sunlight, water, nutrients—but still must wait for the right season to sprout, so too must you wait for God’s appointed time for love to bloom. Even when there’s no obvious obstruction, growth still requires divine timing. Just because you don’t see roots breaking through doesn’t mean they’re not developing underground.
Isaiah 40:31, “But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.”
2. If You’re Fulfilled in Your Singleness Even Though You Would Also Like to Be Married, This Is a Good Sign It’s Just Not God’s Timing for You Yet
I believe, in love, God will sometimes keep someone single until that person learns to be content in Christ first. Why would he do that?
Because he wants your future marriage to be a success. And if you are not fulfilled in Christ first and you are hoping another person will fill you in marriage one day, you will end up ruining that relationship. God’s love is what we need most. While marriage is a blessing from God, it will become a curse if we ask it to be our god. When you ask too much of human love, you can’t enjoy what human love can give you.
However, just because you are still unmarried even though you want a spouse does not automatically mean the reason for this unwanted singleness is that you are not fulfilled in Christ. In fact, if you are fulfilled in Christ while also having a healthy longing to be married, this is all you can do.
If your heart is happy in Jesus and yet open to a relationship, you’ve done your part. Like a traveler who enjoys the journey even though they haven’t yet reached their destination, you’re learning to savor the road while trusting that God’s map still leads to love. Fulfillment in the waiting season shows you’ve adjusted your eyes to the scenery rather that becoming obsessed with the arrival.
The explanation for your singleness is probably that it’s just not God’s timing for you yet.
Psalm 27:14, “Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!”
3. If You’re Singleness Is Contributing to a Fruitful Season of Ministry, This Is a Good Sign It’s Probably Just Not God’s Timing for You to Be Married Yet
Our lives are not about us. God made us to glorify him. While the Lord does want us to experience personal happiness in life, he knows that the greatest personal joy will come when we give everything in service to him.
It’s possible to hold these two truths at the same time: One, you are happy in singleness and using this season to serve the Lord. And two, you would like to be married one day when it’s the Lord’s timing.
For many people, the Lord will keep them single for a period of time because that season of ministry will be best performed through singleness. However, another season often comes in life where it would be more useful to have a partner. When you read 1 Corinthians 7, for example, Paul reasons that people should pursue singleness or marriage depending on which one will help them best serve the Lord.
Like a soldier given a solo mission because the task requires undivided focus, your singleness might be strategic—allowing you to fulfill assignments that wouldn’t be possible with a partner right now.
Galatians 6:9, “And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.”
4. If You’ve Asked in Faith for a Spouse But It’s Just Not Happening Yet, This Is a Good Sign It’s Probably Just Not God’s Timing
When in doubt, always ask the Father for what you feel you need. In love, he will either give you what you ask for or he will redirect you towards something even better. But if you never ask in faith, you will never know if God wants to give that blessing to you or not (James 4:2).
Thus, if you’ve asked in faith and your prayers are biblical, wanting a marriage for holy reasons, and yet the desire is still unfulfilled, take heart, it’s probably just not God’s timing yet. We don’t always know why it’s not the right time in God’s eyes, but we can fully trust that he will always do what’s best for us.
Like a letter sent with the right address and postage, your prayers have been mailed—now you must wait for heaven’s response to arrive at the perfect time. Faith doesn’t guarantee speed, but it does guarantee delivery. God never loses mail sent from a sincere and trusting heart.
Lamentations 3:25-26, “The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him. It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.”
