If you’re a Christian woman who wants to be found by her future husband, it’s crucial that you know how to position yourself to be found. So how can you do that?
Here are 4 biblical ways to position yourself to be found by your future husband.
1. When You Have Prayerfully Committed to Rejecting Worldly Men, You Are Positioned to Be Found By Your Future Godly Husband
Hannah’s prayer shows us something foundational about positioning ourselves for God’s blessings: she made a spiritual commitment to choose God’s will over her own desires. When applying this to relationships, this means you must first fully commit your heart to God before committing it to a man. When you desire a godly husband, you have to reject any man who would pull you away from God rather than push you deeper into obedience. 1 Samuel 1:10-11 states:
She was deeply distressed and prayed to the Lord and wept bitterly. And she vowed a vow and said, ‘O Lord of hosts, if you will indeed look on the affliction of your servant and remember me and not forget your servant, but will give to your servant a son, then I will give him to the Lord all the days of his life, and no razor shall touch his head.’”
Just as you want to be found by your future godly husband, so too does your future husband want to find you. However, would you be able to recognize him if he had a godless woman on his arm? Likewise, if you entertain the pursuits of worldly men, your future husband won’t be able to notice you.
Just like Hannah told God, “If you give me a son, he will belong to You,” you can say, “Lord, if you give me a husband, our relationship will belong to you.” I’m not saying that we should try to bargain with God. Rather, that posture of commitment to holiness removes fear and frames your heart to recognize the right man when he appears.
2. When You’re Publicly Doing the Work of a Godly Woman, You Are Positioned to Be Found By Your Godly Husband
Ruth didn’t sit at home hoping someone would notice her grief, her loyalty, or her potential. She got up and went to work. And it was in the field that Boaz noticed her character, her kindness, her grit, and her humility. (Ruth 3)
Rebekah didn’t know that a servant was about to approach her with a test that would reveal her suitability to be Isaac’s wife. She simply lived out her everyday faithfulness. Her generosity at the well was not staged—it was her normal kindness on display. (Genesis 24)
Zipporah didn’t manipulate Moses into noticing her. She simply reported what happened, and Moses himself made the move to protect and honor her. (Exodus 2)
There is a lesson here: God will often let the “finding” happen in the overflow of your obedient lifestyle.
If your life is already bearing fruit—serving, giving, loving, working, leading, helping, ministering—your future husband will be drawn to that evidence of Christ in you. You won’t have to convince him of your godly character; he will witness it himself.
This doesn’t mean you have to be involved in everything, nor does it mean you need a ministry position or a busy social calendar. It simply means living out your calling in a visible way. When you walk faithfully in what God has assigned, you are easier to recognize by a man who is praying for a woman just like you.
4. When You Are Unlike Most of the Women in the World, You Are Positioning Yourself to Be Found By Your Godly Husband
The fact is, you are going to be hard to find because your future husband will have to find you in a sea of godless women. If you are truly a godly woman, you are a needle in a haystack. A true godly man will be searching the hay until he finds that needle, but you can make it easier for him if you are not disguising yourself as just another piece of hay.
Proverbs 31:10 says, “An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.”
In other words, a godly woman is hard to find but not hard to recognize. She is rare—but rarity makes her obvious once she’s discovered.
Like a glistening jewel among dusty rocks, so too will a genuinely godly woman stand out in a world full of selfishness, impurity, manipulation, and moral confusion. The more you resemble Christ, the more clearly visible you will be to a man who is searching for a Christ-centered woman.
5. When You’re Ready to Be Pursued and Not Afraid When It Finally Happens, You Are Positioning Yourself to Be Found By Your Godly Husband
Ironically, many women pray and pray to be pursued by a godly man, but then when it finally happens, they often have an emotional meltdown.
“What if he’s not the one?”
“What if I waste my time?”
“What if I say the wrong thing?”
“What if he thinks I’m too interested and runs away?”
When God finally allows a Christian man to pursue you, your role is not to be perfect but to be present. You also don’t need to know the whole future. Perhaps this is the one for you, perhaps it is not. Faith moves forward with biblical wisdom until God makes his will clear.
Think of Mary in Luke 1. When the angel told her something overwhelming—that she would carry the Messiah—she didn’t understand everything, but she said, “Let it be to me according to your word” (Luke 1:38). That’s the posture God wants you to take when a godly man begins to pursue you: not fear, but willingness.
For more information on how to be found by your future husband, you may want to check out my newest book, Invite Him: 16 Rules from Ruth to Help Your Future Husband Find You.
