5 Signs Satan Is Setting You Up to Be in a Terrible Marriage

In most cases, a man doesn’t end up in a terrible marriage by accident. Yes, in some instances, a man did all he could but was simply tricked by a particularly manipulative woman. However, more often than not, a man who claims he was tricked by a woman was really tricked by himself.  Proverbs 19:3, “When a man’s folly brings his way to ruin, his heart rages against the Lord.”

If you’re a single Christian man, you have the opportunity to avoid being the type of guy who blames God for his own bad choices. You don’t have to be the guy who looks back and regrets missing all the obvious red flags God was trying to show him.

Therefore, here are 5 signs Satan is setting you up to be in a terrible marriage.

1. If You Think Marriage Will Solve Your Problems, Satan Is Setting You Up for a Terrible Marriage

Idolization always leads to demonization. In other words, when you think a woman is the solution to your problems, eventually you will come to blame her for the problems you still have.

When you elevate a woman into God’s place, the only thing she can do is fail you. If you marry a woman hoping she will solve your loneliness, lust, insecurity, meaninglessness, etc., you will end up very disappointed.

Proverbs 18:22 states, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.” Notice that this verse says a wife is “a” good thing from God. She is not “the” good thing from God. She’s a blessing, not the blessing.

Without God first in your heart, a woman will become a curse to you (Psalm 16:2). Only when we are satisfied in Christ first can we enjoy an imperfect woman for what she can be.

She is a blessing! She just can’t be your Savior.

2. If the Fear of God Isn’t the Top Quality You’re Looking for in a Woman, Satan Is Setting You Up for a Terrible Marriage

Satan can’t force you into a bad marriage. Rather, he tempts you to make bad choices for yourself. One way he does this is by tempting you to value the wrong things in a woman.

Proverbs 31:30, “Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” Satan works through deceit. Thus, he will work through a woman’s charming personality. Satan works through vain earthly pleasures. Thus, he will work through a woman’s physical beauty. There’s no greater temptation to a man than a charming, beautiful woman.

If you want to avoid getting trapped in a miserable marriage, you have to value the right things in a woman. You need a woman who fears God because eventually, you’re going to let her down. Just as she will not live up to your idolization of her, nor will you live up to her idolization of you. If you marry a woman who thought you were her savior, she will end up hating you once she realizes you’re an imperfect man.

But a woman who fears the Lord can remain faithful and full of love for you because ultimately, she is obeying God, not you. Both of you need the love of Christ flowing through you so you can keep loving each other through the peaks and valleys.

3. If You’re Walking in Lust During Your Singleness, Satan Is Trying to Set You Up for a Terrible Marriage

The first way lust can get you trapped in a bad marriage is by tainting your value system. If you marry a woman because she’s hot, because you want a trophy wife that other guys respect you for, or because she seems like the fulfillment of your sexual fantasies, you are right where Satan wants you.

Now, I’m not saying physical attraction is unimportant for Christian men. My caution is that it can lead you to marry a woman who lacks what is most important for a healthy marriage.

And even if you marry a woman who is godly and has great character, but you marry her for lustful reasons, when you get married, your lust will not be satisfied with your wife, no matter how beautiful she is to you now. Before marriage, Satan will tempt you to have sex with her. After you get married, Satan will tempt you not to have sex with your wife. Your lust will cause you to betray her, whether through porn or an affair.

When you follow Satan, he will always lead you to do the opposite of what God wants. Proverbs 5:18-19 tells us what God wants, “Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love.”

4. If You’re Naïve About Women, Satan Will Use This to Lead You Into a Terrible Marriage

 The fact is, men tend to swing between two extremes. At one point in life, a man may be idealistic. But once life doesn’t go according to plan, he often becomes pessimistic.

1 Peter 5:8, “Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.” If you’re a naïve man, imagining that there are no women who are liars and that everyone who is nice to you has good intentions, you are that much more likely to end up with a toxic woman.

You do have to choose to trust a woman eventually. But before you fully open your heart to each other, you should both be testing the relationship in wise ways. Speed kills. You need time to gather evidence that you both are who you say you are. Anyone can act like a great person for a short period of time. But given enough time, the truth always comes out, for better or worse (Proverbs 19:2).

5. If You’re Living for the Moment and Not Thinking Ahead, You Can Be Easily Tempted Into a Terrible Marriage

Perhaps nearsightedness is the prime reason so many men end up in terrible marriages. Fun girlfriends don’t always translate into hard-working wives. Pleasurable sexual sin doesn’t translate into pleasurable holy sex in marriage. A woman who boosts your ego in the eyes of the world doesn’t always translate into a woman who’s willing to get up at 3 am and nurse the baby and then not hate you the next morning because she’s tired.

If you think you’re cheating the system and you are the exception, just give it time. Scripture is clear:

Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.” (Galatians 6:7-9)

Don’t live for the moment. That’s how Satan traps many men in terrible marriages. Years later, they wish they had looked ahead and considered what the future would really look like with this woman.