At times, there are extremely desirable single people who fly under most people’s radar. If you were to get to know them, you would quickly realize how attractive, enjoyable, and desirable they really are. They are the types of people who don’t make a strong first impression, but when you give them time, they make a lasting impression, which is rarer and more valuable if you’re looking for a lifelong partner.
Therefore, to help you identify these types of people, here are 3 signs to look for.
1. If Someone Dresses Modest Because They Are Paying More Attention to Their Heart Than Their External Appearance, You May Be Overlooking an Incredible Romantic Partner
We live in a world where most people seek to present themselves in the most positive external way while hiding what is really going on in their hearts. It’s amazing how skilled people can become at flipping the switch to appear as someone they really are not. Like Hollywood actors who can switch characters based upon the role they were cast for, there are people in this world who are professional shapeshifters, becoming what they know you want to see.
But when someone’s heart is truly seeking after God, they will pay more attention to their inner well-being than their outer presentation. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not advocating that we all ignore how we present ourselves or that we go out in public with bedhead, a bathrobe, and our fuzzy slippers. Rather, what I’m saying is that the way we present ourselves externally should reflect how we look internally.
When someone wears provocative or worldly clothing, it says something about the condition of their heart. If a man wears overpriced items, it says something about his inner values. Notice what 1 Peter 3:3-4 says about the beauty of Christian women:
Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.”
While this is about women, the principles here certainly apply to men as well. Notice it does not say that nice clothing is bad. It just says your beauty should not stem from your external appearance. It also talks about having a gentle and quiet spirit. This is not referring to being extroverted or introverted. Rather, this is about someone’s character. People can be sinfully “loud” when everything about them screams, “Look at me!”
The big principle here is this: Let your internal character flow outward. God teaches us here that both men and women should have a spirit that places the emphasis on God rather than on ourselves. And one way to notice this type of person is by valuing modest outward appearance choices.
When you only notice people who are dressing for attention, you will also only notice people who have an inner void they are trying to fill by getting attention from others.
However, when you train yourself to notice people who aren’t standing out because of their external efforts, you will more easily locate those people who have their inner priorities straight.
2. If Someone Only Opens Up After Getting to Know You First, You May Be Overlooking an Incredible Romantic Partner
While the Bible doesn’t say much about different personality traits, it is clear through observing the people God has made that we are all different in this area. Some of us can jump into a crowded room of people we don’t know and fit right in. And others of us would leave such an environment without connecting with anyone new.
But we must remember that no matter how different we all are, Psalm 139:13-14 applies to us all. It states, “For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.”
As we go out into the world, these verses can help remind us that even those who seem like wallflowers are incredibly complex, too. In many cases, these people just struggle to show themselves to people they don’t know that well. But when you give them the time to get comfortable around you, you will be amazed at how they blossom before your eyes.
Sometimes Christian singles struggle to get into a relationship because they only notice the loud, expressive, and socially extroverted people. But if you were to invest in the person who seems quiet and hard to read, you will often discover that they are an incredible person who fits you extremely well.
If God arranges your life so that you can get to know someone who needs time to open up, this is a great sign that he’s trying to reveal a hidden-gem-type of a person to you.
3. If Someone Is Awkward Due to a Lack of Relationship Experience, You May Be Overlooking an Incredible Romantic Partner
Continuing on from point 2, some people are totally comfortable around everyone except the person that they like because they lack relationship experience.
While someone’s nervous energy might be a turnoff to you at first, you may want to slow down and get to know this person because he or she could be one of those easily overlooked people who are actually way more amazing than you first notice.
Their lack of relationship experience doesn’t need to be seen as a negative. Rather, God may use you to help open them up, and in the process you will be blessed by getting to know someone that most other people just ignored and passed by. And because they don’t have a long history of broken relationships, it could be easier for you two in the future since they have less baggage than the average single person who has dated a lot of people.
Romans 16:19 states, “For your obedience is known to all, so that I rejoice over you, but I want you to be wise as to what is good and innocent as to what is evil.” Don’t fall for the person who knows all the worldly tricks to flirt and win romantic attention. Look for the person who is wise in what is good and innocent in what is worldly.
So if God is telling you to give someone some time to open up and get comfortable, listen to him and be patient. You never know . . . he could be revealing your future spouse to you.
