4 Signs God Is Saying, “Let Them Go and Say Goodbye”

Here are 4 common ways God will communicate that it’s time to let someone go and say goodbye.

1. If This Relationship Has Served Its Purpose in Both of Your Lives and Now It Is Fruitless, This Is a Sign God Wants You to Let Them Go and Say Goodbye

Fruit has stages to its life cycle. At first, a piece of fruit must spend time growing on the tree. Its connection to the branch is strong because of its need for nutrients. But as the fruit ripens and is ready to be eaten, its connection to the branch weakens, so it comes off more easily when picked. And eventually, if it is not picked when ripe, the fruit will fall off the tree and rot on the ground.

Many relationships in our lives share a similar life cycle. God brings people into our lives for a specific season and to accomplish a specific purpose. There will be a season when you both greatly benefit from each other. Your connection is strong because you both are getting nutrients from your relationship.

But once you have received what God wants you to receive from each other, this will be marked by a weakening connection. You both have served each other well. You are ripe, so to speak, because you received what you needed from each other. It’s time to move on; otherwise, like a piece of fruit left unpicked and uneaten when ripe, what you shared will begin to spoil, and the relationship will rot.

Some relationships will last a lifetime, and some will last just a season, and that’s okay. Walk with God. He will show you the difference. Sometimes he just brought you and someone else together because you needed each other for a season. Now it’s time to let them go and say goodbye.

As Ecclesiastes 3:2 states, there’s “a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted.”

2. If This Person Is the Only Bridge Left to the Life God Told You to Leave Behind, It’s Time to Let This Person Go and Say Goodbye

God tells us to come as we are, but he never wants us to leave as we are. God’s love starts with an open door to anyone, no matter their condition. But God’s love always leads to transformation. While nothing can separate a Christian from the love of God (Romans 8:38-39), God will remove from our lives those things that try to separate us from his love (Hebrews 12:1).

This is a process. When God begins to sanctify someone, this process involves both letting go and gaining new things (Romans 6:13). Bit by bit, you will lose pieces of your old life, and then God will replace them with something new. Sometimes we take this process very seriously and do a great job except for just one person we let remain in our lives. But the problem with trying to leave your old life while still staying connected to someone from that past is that they will act as a bridge between you and what you are trying to leave behind. As James 4:4-5 explains:

Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. Or do you suppose it is to no purpose that the Scripture says, ‘He yearns jealously over the spirit that he has made to dwell in us’?”

3. If This Person Is Only Staying Because You Are Begging Them to Remain, This Is a Sign God Is Telling You to Let Them Go and Say Goodbye

It can be so painful when someone wants to leave while you want them to stay. What’s really dangerous in a situation like this is that oftentimes you might be able to convince them to stay. This is one of the worst things that could happen to you.

If someone wants to leave you but you are somehow getting them to stay a bit longer, what you are really doing is keeping someone in your life who will hurt you. Like a cornered animal, this person will eventually lash out at you in increasingly aggressive ways because you are preventing them from getting what they want.

Even in marriage, Paul told Christians that if they have an unbelieving spouse who wants to go, they should let them go (1 Corinthians 7:13-15).

To avoid an unequally yoked relationship (2 Corinthians 6:14), we must never convince someone to stay when, deep down, they have made it clear they want to leave.

4. If Letting Them Go and Saying Goodbye Is What Is Needed for You Both to Follow God’s Calling on Your Lives, It’s Time to Obey

Sometimes separation is needed not because of a problem between you and this person but simply because God has given you both different callings. When God calls, you must say your goodbyes and follow him wherever he leads. Notice the powerful example of this in the life of Paul. In Acts 20:24-25, 36-38 it reads:

But I [Paul] do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God. And now, behold, I know that none of you among whom I have gone about proclaiming the kingdom will see my face again.” . . . And when he had said these things, he knelt down and prayed with them all. And there was much weeping on the part of all; they embraced Paul and kissed him, being sorrowful most of all because of the word he had spoken, that they would not see his face again. And they accompanied him to the ship.”

They were sad about their separation. Paul loved these people, and these people loved Paul. But they all knew what had to be done. God was calling, and they knew they must obey.

So if God is calling you and this person in two different directions, it’s time to let them go and say goodbye.

Here’s a playlist of past videos called Is God Telling You to Wait for that Person or Let Them Go?