3 Reasons You Should Be Confused When You Meet Your Future Husband

1 Timothy 3:16-17

For a few women, they will meet their future husband and instantly know this is the man God has called them to marry. For the vast majority of women, however, this not what is going to happen.

Some women will feel like God told them that man was their future husband when they first meet this man, but then they will not get married. Other women will end up marrying a man they did not like when they first met him. And still other women will fall somewhere in between these two extremes, kind of liking a man but being unsure if this is the one or not.

While God does not cause confusion (1 Corinthians 14:33), he certainly does allow it. If God didn’t allow it, it would never happen. Since so many people are confused about relationships, obviously God does allow confusion. Why?

God can use our confusion for his purposes. Through his sovereign wisdom, he will actually use confusion to reveal your future husband to you. How?

Here are 3 reasons you should be confused when you meet your future husband.

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1. When You Are Unsure About a Man, This Shows You Are Not Just Hearing What You Want to Hear

While some people are correct when they meet someone for the first time and instantly believe this person is their future spouse, the vast majority of people who experience this end up being very wrong.

In most cases, when you meet someone for the first time, it is more likely that this person is your future spouse if you are unsure if they are your future spouse. If you instantly believe they are your future spouse, it is more probable that you are simply hearing what you want to hear.

Why? Because God rarely just tells you the future like you are a psychic. Rather, he usually speaks through evidence observed over time (Matthew 7:16, Matthew 16:2-3, Proverbs 11:15). He usually speaks through applying his word over time (1 Timothy 3:16-17, Psalm 19:11). He usually speaks through prayer leading you to take wise actions (Matthew 6:13, James 2:17, 1 Peter 1:13).

Claiming to know the future without seeing any biblical evidence in the presents is usually a sign of listening to your own desires rather than truly hearing the voice of God (2 Timothy 4:3-4). Therefore, when you are confused and unsure, this usually means you are being honest with yourself and not just clinging to what you hope is true.

By accepting your confusion and admitting you don’t know the future, you will be able to trust the answers God will give you once the time is right (1 Peter 5:6-7). In other words, your current confusion is a sign you are genuinely listening to God; thus, this will give you the confidence to know when God truly is making his will clear since you know you are not faking it now.

2. Confusion Gives You the Opportunity to Receive God’s Confirmation About This Man

If faith meant we always knew everything God wanted us to do, there would be no reasons to call out for God’s wisdom. And yet, throughout Scripture, we are commanded to cry out to God for wisdom when we are confused (James 1:5, Proverbs 2:3-5).

When you have true faith, this doesn’t mean you will always know the future. In fact, if you saw the future, you would not faith because faith is about believing God even when you can’t see everything you hope to be true (Hebrews 11:1).

When we apply these principles to your journey of meeting and marrying your future husband, this means God will use your confusion to bring you the answers you need. When we don’t have questions, we don’t ask for answers. When we don’t ask God for answers, we don’t receive answers. As James 4:3, “You do not have, because you do not ask.”

If you are confused about a man, ask God. He will show you how to get the answers you need. Maybe over time this man will stop showing interest. Maybe if you go on a date with him, you will see that he is genuine and you should give him a chance.

God’s answer may come to you in a way that you did not expect, but if you seek God’s guidance he will always give it, “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you” (Matthew 7:7).

3. This Man Should Pursue You Through a Process, Which Takes Time to Unfold

Sometimes it’s not you who believes you just met your future husband. Sometimes it’s the man you just met who believes you’ve just met your future husband. Ironically, a man who is overly confident that you are his future wife before he really knows you is showing you that he is probably not your future husband.

As the old saying goes, “Easy come, easy go.” In other words, if a man has put in no work to make sure you actually are his future wife, if he hasn’t dated you for a good amount of time, if he hasn’t prayed for a good amount of time, if he has not included others to help guide you both – this man will usually lose interest in you just as quickly as he gained interest in you.

Therefore, when you actually meet the man God has for you, you and this man will usually both be equally unsure about the future. You will both know you like what you see now. You will both want to invest more in the relationship to see where God might lead you.

But in the beginning of the relationship, there will be some healthy confusion because you will be humble enough to admit that you don’ know the whole future. God knows your whole life (Psalm 139:16). But we are not God.

All things worth having take real sacrifice and commitment. If a man is trying to take shortcuts and is rushing the relationship, he’s showing you he’s too immature to be the man God has for you.

A godly man knows his pursuit is not a onetime act. It’s process that will unfold overtime. As this man pursues you and as you keep responding positively to his pursuit, God will give you more and more clarity as time goes on. Eventually, through evidence unfolded through this process, you will then know, “Yes, this is my future husband.”

If you want deep, biblical training meant to help you meet, date, and marry the person God has for you, feel free to visit AGW University. The scholarship and enrollment deadline will close on November 20th at 11:59pm. Click here to learn more!