5 Subtle Signs the Guy You Like Is Truly a Man of God

Ephesians 5:25-30

Oftentimes Christian women meet a godly man but they don’t like him. At other times, they find a man they like but who is not godly. What signs will be present when you meet a guy that you like and he is truly godly?

Here are 5 subtle signs you should see when you like a man who is actually following the Lord.

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1. If He Does Not Let His Left Hand Know What His Right Hand Is Doing

In some ways, it should be very obvious if a man is a Christian or not. First, he should freely profess Christ verbally when given the opportunity (Matthew 10:32-33). The fruits of Spirit should be visible through his actions (Galatians 5:22-23). And he should be practicing the normal methods of connecting with God on a regular basis, like participating in church, praying, and reading the Scriptures.

But in another sense, it should be a bit of challenge to know whether or not a man is truly living for God. In other words, while it’s a red flag when you don’t see any good works in a man’s life, it’s just as big a red flag when this man is telling everyone about his good works. As Jesus said in Matthew 6:3-4, “But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.”

While this sign is subtle to notice, it’s a powerful piece of evidence that this man truly is godly when he does his good works to be seen by God and not people (Matthew 5:16).

2. He Must Be Self-Sufficient in Practical Ways

I always encourage Christians to date with the purpose of finding a spouse. You don’t need to know you will marry someone before you date them. Dating is supposed to help you know if you should or should not marry someone. However, dating just to date usually leads to sin and unnecessary temptation.

Therefore, if you are dating to find a spouse, you should make sure the man you date has the basic abilities to fulfill the biblical roles for a husband (Ephesians 5:25-30). If a man can’t provide for himself, there’s no reason to assume he would be able to provide for a wife and children.

He doesn’t need to have his whole life figured out right now before you date him. It’s fine if he is working had but doesn’t make a lot of money. He just can’t be dependent on others for survival (2 Thessalonians 3:10-12).

Yes, we all need each other in some sense, but an adult man should not need people like a boy does. The primary difference between a boy and a man is that a boy needs others to take care of him while a man is able to take care of others.

3. He Must Have Enough Self-Control to Resist Sex with You Before Marriage

Satan wants a couple to have sex before marriage and not have sex in marriage. Sex before marriage is a sin. Sex in marriage is a blessing. Sex before marriage dishonors God. Sex in marriage honors God. Hebrews 13:4, “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.”

I’m not saying he shouldn’t have a sexual desire for you. In some ways, it’s actually a red flag if a man isn’t struggling to control his sexual desires for you. When a man loves a woman, God designed his body to express his feelings through wanting her sexually. If he’s not interested in having sex with you at all, that’s a problem. The man God wants you to marry will also want to have sex with you in marriage.

The problem only arises when a man chooses to pursue sexual passion before committing to you in marriage.

4. Other Godly Men Respect Him

While each individual is different, most men tend to have a smaller circle of friends and their friendships look a lot different than many women’s friendships. Men verbalize their feelings less and tend to connect better with other men who enjoy the same activities as them. So I’m not saying you should expect him to have the same type of friendships as you do.

With all that said, men do need other men. His circle doesn’t need to be large, but if he doesn’t have other godly men in his life, this is unhealthy (Proverbs 27:17, 1 Timothy 5:1-2).

Another tip is to look at how other godly men size him up when they meet him for the first time and get to know him. Do the godly men in your life get a bad feeling? Or do they like him? Pay attention to this. Men often have a way of sniffing out male frauds better than women just like women can often identify female frauds better than men.

5. If He’s Controlling His Excitement About You and Choosing to Take Things Slow

I’m not saying it’s bad for a man to want to marry you before you expected it. I think anywhere between 6 to 24 months is a healthy range of dating for Christian couples. This is just my opinion, but anything less than 6 months and you risk marrying someone you don’t know well enough and anything past 2 years tends to lead to sexual sin because the couple is too close for dating.

So rather than give you an exact timeline of what is too fast for a man, you should simply feel in your heart that this man is excited about you but also choosing to act wisely towards you. Emotionally, he should want to rush it because he likes you so much; but because he’s wise and has self-control, he should also be choosing to take things slow (Song of Solomon 8:4). 

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