Here are 3 things that often happen when God is giving you the boldness that is needed to form a godly bond with someone.
1. If God Is Teaching You How to Accept the Worst Possible Outcome While Still Pursuing the Best Possible Outcome, This Is a Good Sign He’s Giving You Boldness to Form a Bond with Someone
It takes a lot of courage in the initial bonding phases of a relationship because there are so many unknowns. The best could happen or the worst could happen. If we aren’t careful, our fear of the worst can sometimes overpower our hope for the best. Therefore, we must learn to accept the worst possible outcome while also having the boldness to believe the best could happen too if God wills it. Notice how these principles played out in the life of Paul. In Acts 21:10-14 it states:
After we had been there a number of days, a prophet named Agabus came down from Judea. Coming over to us, he took Paul’s belt, tied his own hands and feet with it and said, ‘The Holy Spirit says, “In this way the Jewish leaders in Jerusalem will bind the owner of this belt and will hand him over to the Gentiles.”’
When we heard this, we and the people there pleaded with Paul not to go up to Jerusalem. Then Paul answered, ‘Why are you weeping and breaking my heart? I am ready not only to be bound, but also to die in Jerusalem for the name of the Lord Jesus.’” When he would not be dissuaded, we gave up and said, ‘The Lord’s will be done.’”
Paul’s aim was not to go to Jerusalem to die. His aim was to go there and preach the gospel so that others could be saved. But the way he overcame any fear of being bound was to go even further than that bad outcome and fully accept even the worst possible outcome – death itself. He said, “I am ready not only to be bound, but also to die . . . .” If you can continue to pursue your calling even if it means death, you won’t be scared away from your calling if someone threatens you with prison.
Likewise, in all areas of life, for us to overcome the fears of all the bad things that can happen, the way we must do that is by even accepting the worst possible scenarios. When you are able to accept the worst thing that could happen and still pursue what God is calling you to pursue, you won’t be scared off when lesser threats come against you.
In relationships, you have to learn to pursue the best possible outcome while also accepting that the worst possible outcome can also occur. If you can do that, you will then possess the boldness that is required to form a godly relationship bond. These bonds take risk to form. So you can’t be scared off by the possibility of pain if you also hope to pursue the possibility of the holy pleasure that comes from a Christ-centered relationship.
2. If God Is Giving You the Self-Control to Be Open to Forming a Godly Bond Without Letting Yourself Form an Ungodly Bond, This Is a Good Sign He Is Preparing You to Have Boldness to Form a Healthy Bond with Someone
One of the reasons relationships are so dangerous is because many people start out with good intentions but then fall to temptation along the journey. Just because you started talking to someone with the hope that you two would form a godly bond that is biblical does not mean that can always happen. Sometimes you have to move forward to see what will happen but then also have the self-control to end the relationship once you realize it is headed towards an ungodly union.
If you lack the boldness to end a relationship because you fear being alone or fearing hurting someone’s feelings, you will actually prolong the wait of forming a godly bond with someone else because when you are in a relationship with someone who is not good for you, you are simultaneously delaying the blessing of being with someone who is good for you.
The longer you let yourself be with someone who is ungodly the longer it will take for you to meet someone God does want you with. Notice that when Jesus sent out his disciples, he also warned them that there will come times to move on and accept it’s just not going to work out like you had hoped. In Mark 6:10-11 (NIV) Jesus said, “Whenever you enter a house, stay there until you leave that town. And if any place will not welcome you or listen to you, leave that place and shake the dust off your feet as a testimony against them.”
Jesus didn’t tell his disciples to pick one town and then spend their whole lives trying to convince everyone in that town to follow God. He said to pursue their salvation and share the gospel, but if it becomes clear they are not willing to accept the truth, move on and share it with people who do want to hear it.
Likewise, when it comes to offering your love with someone before actually marrying that person, you must learn to offer your love while also not getting attached to someone, wasting your whole life trying to get this person to be someone they are not. Just as Jesus encouraged his disciples to know when it was time to move rather than waste fruitful years in an unfruitful town, so too will God lead you to keep moving on from bad relationships so you can form a godly bond with someone when the right opportunity comes.
3. If God Is Teaching You How to Serve Him Rather than the Opinions of Fellow Humans, This Is a Good Sign the Lord Is Preparing You to Have Boldness to Form a Healthy Bond with Someone
We will always be controlled by the opinions of others if we are not fully rooted in Christ first and foremost. Eventually you will always have to choose between serving God or serving man.
We must get ourselves to the place in our hearts where we can live like Paul stated in Galatians 1:10, “For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.”
There will come points in certain relationships where you will need to accept that you can’t please this person and God at the same time. When that happens, you have to be willing to break this bond so you can prioritize your bond with Jesus Christ.
This will not only be a blessing to your walk with God, it will also be a blessing to your relationships with others. When you meet someone with the same spiritual boldness as you, you two will then be able to form a goldy bond together in a Christ-centered relationship.