5 Sins that Will Keep You Stuck on Someone

Sin is not always the reason people get stuck on someone in their past. However, it certainly can be the root issue for some people.

Therefore, if you can’t stop thinking about someone in your past, if you can’t let them go in your heart, but you’re not sure why, sin could be the reason.

Here are 5 sins that will keep you stuck on someone even though God is leading you to move on.

1. Idolatry Will Keep You Stuck on Someone

Not only will idolatry contaminate every interaction between a man and woman in the present, but it will also contaminate their ability to move on if that’s what God is leading them to do.

For example, when you idolize someone, you have an odd ability to forget all the bad parts of the relationship and overexaggerate the good parts you had. Instead of remembering how much you two fought, you will have a general sense of how fulfilled and loved you felt back then. This will heighten the sense of emptiness you feel in the present.

Also, idolizing someone makes it impossible to get to know new people. No one in the present can live up to an idol in your past. You will constantly compare everyone to a standard even this person you are idolizing didn’t actually meet. Thus, this keeps you stuck.

But if you were to confess your idolatry and repent, asking the Lord to give you eyes to see the truth, you would have a much more realistic view. You would remember the good times, but you would also remember what tore you two apart in the first place. When the Lord is seated on the throne of your heart, you will find the freedom to let this person go.

Jonah 2:7-8, “When my life was fainting away, I remembered the Lord, and my prayer came to you, into your holy temple. Those who pay regard to vain idols forsake their hope of steadfast love.”

2. Unforgiveness Will Keep You Stuck on Someone

When someone talks badly about their ex, it’s a classic sign they still think about them a lot. They might not want to. They may wish to move on. But by the look on their face when that person’s name gets mentioned, you can tell they are not free of that person yet.

One reason this happens is because of unforgiveness. Hebrews 12:15, “See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no ‘root of bitterness’ springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled . . .” Like an immovable tree, our roots are what keep us anchored. Bitterness keeps you rooted in the hurts of your past.

If you want to move on and let someone go, you have to forgive them – radically, completely, as God in Christ has forgiven you (Ephesians 4:32).

3. Sexual Sins Will Keep You Stuck on Someone

Sin takes place when we use a good thing in a bad way. Sex is not the problem. Sex used in ways that violate God’s design is the issue.

In marriage, sex bonds you to your spouse. Outside of marriage, sex bonds you to someone who’s not your spouse. Thankfully, God’s power to set us free is greater than the stronghold sexual sin can have on us (2 Corinthians 3:17-18).

If you can’t let someone go but you know you need to, ask yourself, “Did I commit sexual sin with this person?” If so, that could be your issue.

1 John 1:9, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

4. Fear Will Keep You Stuck on Someone

“Don’t be afraid” or “Fear not” is the most frequently repeated command in the whole Bible, which says a lot when you consider how many other commands are also found in Scripture.

The Bible warns us about fear so much because it is the antithesis to faith. Faith and fear cannot coexist. You can either live in faith, or you can live in fear. There is no third option. And without faith, our entire relationship with God breaks down. Hebrews 11:6, “And without faith it is impossible to please him . . .”

Therefore, if you’re afraid that this person was your only chance to be married, if you’re afraid that if you try again you’ll meet another person just as toxic, if there is any fear that is connecting you to this person, you have to break it in Christ to fully move on.

Embrace the Father’s love for you. When you know you’re loved by God, fear vanishes, “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love” (1 John 4:18).

5. Passivity Will Keep You Stuck on Someone

Sometimes you will keep thinking about someone in the past because there is no else to think about.

In other words, when you really want to be married, your heart and mind often search for a person to attach those feelings to. Sometimes you think about a certain person so much not because you really want them, but because you really want to be married and you don’t know anyone else who might become a romantic option for you. They feel like your only option, and so you can’t let them go.

This is how passivity can keep you stuck on one person. By choosing to move on and open up to new relationship possibilities, you’re allowing your heart and mind to stop focusing on this one person. I’m not talking about a rebound relationship. Rather, I’m talking about restarting and letting the past go.

It can be daunting to start again. That old relationship is comfortable. You know them. Thinking about finding someone new seems impossible.

Trust God. Be bold. Be faithful. The Lord has a good plan for you, but you do have to participate to follow him into it.

Notice in Psalm 18:38-39 (NIV) that God still used David to fight the enemy, but the Lord is the one who gave him the strength, “I crushed them so that they could not rise; they fell beneath my feet. You armed me with strength for battle; you humbled my adversaries before me.”

Likewise, God has a good plan for you, but passivity will rob you of seeing it. God must give you the strength, but then you must use that strength to move forward with him.