How to Know If God Is Giving You a Red, Yellow, or Green Light About Someone

Galatians 5:25

God speaks through his word, through his Spirit, and through the circumstances in your life. Here are some ways you can apply these three means of hearing God so you can know if he is sending you a red, yellow, or green light about someone.

Also, if you are someone who would like a deep biblical study on preparing for marriage in your singleness, I wanted to let you know open enrollment for AGW University is now available. The deadline to enroll for this semester is May 30th, 11:59pm. Feel free to click here to learn more

1. How to Know If God Is Sending You a Red Light About Someone

Red lights are often the easiest to overlook or misinterpret because God’s “no” is often the answer we don’t want to hear. So before you can properly see God’s flashing red lights telling you not to proceed further with someone, one important step is to prepare your heart to receive whatever God is going to tell you.

Besides, if you know deep down in your heart you are not willing to receive a no from God, this will also contaminate your ability to receive a yes from God. If you don’t first prepare yourself to fully submit to whatever God says to you, you will always wonder if you are truly hearing God or if you are just hearing what you want to hear. 

When you are in a submissive attitude towards God, here are some ways he will send you a red light that means he does not want you with this person.

  • He will show you biblical issues in the relationship. You will see this person disobeying God’s clear commands. You will know you are unequally yoked because of your differing beliefs and life choices (2 Corinthians 6:14). This person’s life will not match the instructions on the pages of Scripture.
  • The Spirit will give you a clear conviction in your heart that this is not his will for you (Hebrews 5:14). You will have an uneasiness that is difficult to put to words but it will be undeniable. When you pray, you will feel further from this person. When you are with this person, you will feel further from God.
  • The circumstances will be difficult. Doors will get closed. If they do open, it will only be because you or this person are forcing them open. It will feel unnatural and unenjoyable when you two are actually together. The reality of the relationship will not match the hopes for the relationship.

There are many other ways God will give you a red light about someone, but ultimately it comes down to you be willing to accept his no. If you are unwilling, he will often let you blow through this red light and reap the consequences. In love, he is trying to warn you and spare you of unnecessary pain.

2. How to Know If God Is Sending You a Yellow Light About Someone

When you are driving, the yellow lights are transitional warnings. Between the red lights and the green lights, we are shown yellow lights so we know what’s coming.

The same is true when it comes to relationships. Yellow lights won’t last long if you are paying attention. Yellow lights are signs from God that you need more time to see what is coming. But if you are paying attention, you will gather enough information quite quickly to know whether or not this yellow light is going to switch to a red light or a green light. Here’s some examples of yellow lights from God about someone:

  • The relationship will not be unbiblical but there will still be questions. This person may claim to be a Christian, but you will not have had enough time to observe the fruits of the Spirit that are always present with true Christians (Galatians 5:16-24). This person will say they believe the Bible, but you will be unsure of how closely your interpretations of the Bible really are. Many people read the Bible and walk away with very different conclusions. When God is giving you a yellow light, you will need more time to see if you and this person are interpreting the Bible in similar ways.
  • When you pray about this relationship, you won’t have a strong conviction one way or the other from the Spirit. You will not hear a strong no, telling you to avoid this person. But you will also not have a strong sense that you should be with this person. The lack of clarity will be a sign to you that you should proceed forward cautiously because you need more time with the Spirt leading you to see what you need to see (Galatians 5:25).
  • When you two are together, you will get mixed signals. Sometimes it will feel like you are totally not going to be together, but then you will have a positive experience where it seems like things could work. Or you will just not have had enough actual interactions with this person to really know one way or the other how this person feels about you.

In summary, when God gives you a yellow light, it means you need more information. He wants you to proceed forward cautiously so you can gather more evidence for what he wants you to do or not do.

3. How to Know If God Is Sending You a Green Light About Someone

The red lights are often hard to see because you don’t want to see them. The yellow lights are hard because you want to know more right now but God is saying to be patient so you can gather more information. The green lights are difficult to see because we often question ourselves and doubt God’s goodness. But when God is giving you a green light, he will make it clear. He’s some examples of how:

  • The relationship will be biblical. This doesn’t just mean that the relationship is simply not unbiblical. In other words, this relationship won’t just be biblically acceptable. This relationship will be a positive force in your life that is helping you and this person actively obey the Bible. You will know you are equally yoked and being together will be you obeying verses like 2 Timothy 2:22, “So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.”
  • When you pray about this person, you will not only feel peace with God but you will actually feel closer to this person too (Philippians 2:1-5). The Spirit will be the source of your connection and not the source of your contention (1 John 4:4-6). When you are with this person, it will not make you feel distant from God. The Spirit will give you a peace that surpasses understanding. You will know it’s right even if you can’t fully articulate why.
  • When you two are together, you will enjoy the relationship more than your previous imaginations about the relationship (Ephesians 3:20-21). The reality will actually exceed the hopes you had. Communication won’t be a huge struggle. Conflicts will still happen but not all the time. And when they do occur, you two will resolve them in a mature way that strengthens your bond rather than damaging it through selfishness and stubbornness (Ephesians 4:29-32).

In summary, when God is giving you a green light, the word, the Spirit, and the circumstances in your life will be pointing you forward. You both will want to be together and you both will feel God wants you together too.

And if you are Christian single person who wants biblical, in-depth, online training that will help you prepare for the future relationship God may have for you, then I wanted to let you know open enrollment for AGW University is now available. The deadline to enroll is next Sunday, May 30th, at 11:59pm. To see all the course content and resources included in AGW University, feel free to click here to learn more.

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Mark Ballenger is the writing ministry of Mark Ballenger. To reach Mark, send him an email anytime:

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