While spiritual warfare can certainly be involved when a Delilah is present in our lives, I’m not specifically talking about a “spirit of Delilah” in this article. I’m referring to someone who has similar traits as this evil woman Delilah as described in the Bible. Because I’m going to be talking about her in a symbolic way, just know that a man or a woman can be a Delilah.
So here are 9 signs someone is a Delilah.
1. A Delilah Will Try to Use Your Weaknesses to Control You
Before Samson met Delilah in Judges 16, we see that he had a weakness towards seduction. In Judges 14, he fell for a godless woman that was unholy (Judges 14:3). In Judges 16:1, Samson pursued a prostitute. Despite God using Samson in many good ways, he was clearly a man with deep flaws and weaknesses.
A Delilah has the ability to pick up on your weaknesses and then use them as leverage to accomplish what they want. Judges 16:4-6 explains:
After this he loved a woman in the Valley of Sorek, whose name was Delilah. And the lords of the Philistines came up to her and said to her, ‘Seduce him, and see where his great strength lies, and by what means we may overpower him, that we may bind him to humble him. And we will each give you 1,100 pieces of silver.’ So Delilah said to Samson, ‘Please tell me where your great strength lies, and how you might be bound, that one could subdue you.’”
Notice that Samson’s enemies were well aware of his specific weakness. Delilah used her beauty to try to control Samson through his weakness towards seduction.
Likewise, if someone is aware of your weaknesses and is trying to exploit them for their own personal gain, they are a Delilah to you. Avoid this person and accept that they will bring you nothing but harm if you let them stay in your life.
2. If This Person Confirms Your Initial Instincts that They Are Untrustworthy, This Is a Sign of a Delilah
We shouldn’t judge people without evidence, but we also should not ignore the discernment the Holy Spirit is sending us either. Judges 16:7-9 states:
Samson said to her, ‘If they bind me with seven fresh bowstrings that have not been dried, then I shall become weak and be like any other man.’ Then the lords of the Philistines brought up to her seven fresh bowstrings that had not been dried, and she bound him with them. Now she had men lying in ambush in an inner chamber. And she said to him, ‘The Philistines are upon you, Samson!’ But he snapped the bowstrings, as a thread of flax snaps when it touches the fire. So the secret of his strength was not known.”
Samson clearly had a sense in his inner being that Delilah was not trustworthy, which is why he lied to her about the source of his power. Delilah then immediately confirmed Samson’s inner suspicions about her by betraying him. Unfortunately for Samson he kept playing with fire and let Delilah stay in his life even though she validated his concerns about her.
If your inner discernment has been confirmed through damning external evidence, God is exposing a Delilah. Don’t make the same mistake as Samson and then let this person remain in your life.
3. If Someone Has the Ability to Twist Every Situation to Make Themselves the Victim and You the Wrongdoer, This Is a Sign of a Delilah
Some people are excellent arguers and have a way of twisting the evidence and truth to make you the bad guy even though they are the ones who actually did something wrong. Judges 16:10-12 states:
Then Delilah said to Samson, ‘Behold, you have mocked me and told me lies. Please tell me how you might be bound.’ And he said to her, ‘If they bind me with new ropes that have not been used, then I shall become weak and be like any other man.’ So Delilah took new ropes and bound him with them and said to him, ‘The Philistines are upon you, Samson!’ And the men lying in ambush were in an inner chamber. But he snapped the ropes off his arms like a thread.”
Notice how Delilah just betrayed Samson but somehow she is accusing him of mocking her. She has turned this situation completely around and instead of being the betrayer now she is the victim.
If someone is always the victim no matter how badly they are the ones who have betrayed you, this is a sign of a Delilah.
4. If This Person Endlessly Nags and Pressures You Repeatedly in the Same Way Over and Over Until They Get Exactly What They Want, This Is a Sign of a Delilah
Delilah was relentless in the worst type of way. No matter how many times she failed at ruining Samson, she just kept trying again and again. Judges 16:13-14 says:
Then Delilah said to Samson, ‘Until now you have mocked me and told me lies. Tell me how you might be bound.’ And he said to her, ‘If you weave the seven locks of my head with the web and fasten it tight with the pin, then I shall become weak and be like any other man.’ So while he slept, Delilah took the seven locks of his head and wove them into the web. And she made them tight with the pin and said to him, ‘The Philistines are upon you, Samson!’ But he awoke from his sleep and pulled away the pin, the loom, and the web.”
Notice that her tactics didn’t even change that much. She was just persistently nagging and forceful. She already failed to trick him in this way, but she just tried again until she found success.
If someone is persistently nagging you to give you what they want even though you both know what they want is not good for you, this is a sign of a Delilah.
5. If Someone Uses Your Love for Them Against You, This Is a Sign of a Delilah
For some reason Samson seems to have really loved this woman. Despite her betrayal after betrayal, he unwisely stays with her. But notice how she uses his obvious love for her against him. Judges 16:15 says, “And she said to him, ‘How can you say, “I love you,” when your heart is not with me? You have mocked me these three times, and you have not told me where your great strength lies.’”
A Delilah will start a sentence with the line, “If you really love me, you would . . . .” Don’t let your love for someone be used against you. This is what a Delilah will do to you.
6. If Someone’s Presence in Your Life Is Making You Feel Like Death, This Is a Sign of a Delilah
If you’ve ever loved someone who struggled with addiction, you know how frustrating it can be to see this person keep something in their life that is literally killing them.
This is how it is when a Delilah is in our lives. They are like an addiction that started out with pleasure but is now producing destruction.
As Judges 16:16 says, “And when she pressed him hard with her words day after day, and urged him, his soul was vexed to death.”
7. If Someone Is Tempting You to Betray God, This Is a Sign of a Delilah
While Samson’s love life with women was obviously a total disaster, the worst part about his relationship issues was that ultimately they ended up hurting his relationship with God.
A Delilah will ultimately want you to do whatever they want, even when what they want will cause you to turn your back on God. Samson was committed to the Lord, but through his association with Delilah he revealed his secrets and compromised God’s presence in his life.
Judges 16:17 says, “And he told her all his heart, and said to her, ‘A razor has never come upon my head, for I have been a Nazirite to God from my mother’s womb. If my head is shaved, then my strength will leave me, and I shall become weak and be like any other man.’”
8. If Someone You Trusted Begins to Torment You with What You Have Shared with Them in Secret, This Is a Sign of a Delilah
If someone really loves you, they will want to know the real you. They will want you to share your secrets with them. But unfortunately, people who just want to abuse you will also want you to share your secrets with them. So you have to be careful with who you share your secrets with. Judges 16:18-19 states:
When Delilah saw that he had told her all his heart, she sent and called the lords of the Philistines, saying, ‘Come up again, for he has told me all his heart.’ Then the lords of the Philistines came up to her and brought the money in their hands. She made him sleep on her knees. And she called a man and had him shave off the seven locks of his head. Then she began to torment him, and his strength left him.”
Delilah was obviously untrustworthy, so Samson was a fool for telling her his most important secrets. But some people come across as trustworthy and only later reveal themselves to be a Delilah by using our secrets against us. This is why we must be slow to trust people deeply.
Our trust of people should correspond to the evidence of their trustworthiness.
9. If You Know This Person Is Eventually Going to Hurt You But For Some Reason You Are Keeping Them in Your Life, This Is a Sign of a Delilah
Eventually Samson’s fears about Delilah proved true. He knew he shouldn’t trust her. But for some reason he couldn’t remove her from his life. As we all know, if you play with fire long enough you will always get burned. Judges 16:20-22 states:
And she said, ‘The Philistines are upon you, Samson!’ And he awoke from his sleep and said, ‘I will go out as at other times and shake myself free.’ But he did not know that the Lord had left him. And the Philistines seized him and gouged out his eyes and brought him down to Gaza and bound him with bronze shackles. And he ground at the mill in the prison. But the hair of his head began to grow again after it had been shaved.”
In the end, if a Delilah is in our lives, ultimately this says more about us than it does about this person.
Delilahs are not the type of people who are liars in secret. They are not so crafty that we had no idea they were going to hurt us one day. Certainly there are people like this in the world, but the character of Delilah in the Bible was not this way. Samson knew she was dangerous but he kept her in his life anyways.
Therefore, a Delilah in your life will be marked by your knowledge that they are dangerous but for some reason you can’t seem to let them go. Against your better judgement, you are knowingly playing with fire and actively tricking yourself that you won’t get burned, although deep down you know this will eventually happen.
As 1 Corinthians 15:33 states, “Do not be deceived: ‘Bad company ruins good morals.’” Paul tells us not be deceived because he knows we will be tempted to let ourselves be deceived.
Don’t be fooled by the addictive power of a Delilah that tempts you to actively ignore what you know you should do. Remove this person before it’s too late.
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