4 Simple Ways to Send the Right Message to a Guy So He Pursues You

Ruth 3:2-4

Sometimes there’s just no way around it, relationships can be complicated. Despite our best efforts, the right words don’t always come out. No matter what we try, sometimes we just can’t connect with that person in the ways that we wanted.

With that said, there are some really simple ways to start the process of connecting with a man. While the relationship will not always be so straightforward, here are 4 simple ways you can begin to send the right message to a guy that you hope pursues you one day.

1. Use His Name

All relationships begin with knowing each other’s name (Isaiah 43:1, John 10:3). Many times we overcomplicate conversations before they happen. We get so worried about what we will say we oftentimes don’t say anything at all.

Keep it simple. Start with the basics. Use their name, “Hi, Jeremy.” This tip is especially useful when you’ve met a man before but you don’t know him very well yet. When he sees that you remembered his name and you greet him personally, this is a small indication to him that he might have a chance with you.

When he hears you say his name, oftentimes something in him feels honored. He will feel singled out by you. When man feels like you notice him, he will have more confidence to purse you.

2. Say Yes

A woman’s first reaction to being pursued is often “no.” Why? Women often go through the world with a defensive attitude. They know there are threats that can hurt their heart (Proverbs 4:23). They know many guys will pursue them with bad intentions (2 Timothy 3:1-6). When we don’t know what to do, we usually refer back to our default position. And again, for most women, their default answer when they don’t know what to say is, “no.”

It sounds so simple, but just make sure you say “yes” to the guy you like. Many women say no to a man and then after they’ve had time to think about it, they regret their decision. If you are unsure, you can always say “yes” to his invitation and then if you change your mind later on, you can then say no.

If you say no right away though, it’s very unlikely this man will ever pursue you again.

3. Smile When You See Him

Proverbs 15:13, “A glad heart makes a cheerful face, but by sorrow of heart the spirit is crushed.” How we look on the outside oftentimes says how we feel on the inside.

A simple smile goes a long way for a guy. I’m not necessarily saying you should start smiling at guys you don’t know. Those guys might pursue you, but you might not want them to pursue you. Rather, I’m more so talking about smiling when you see a guy who you already know and you hope he will pursue you one day.

And I’m not talking about smiling at him across the room. I’m not saying you should walk past him, smile, and say nothing. Rather, when you great him (by name), make sure you show him that you are happy to see him. When he greets you, verbally respond back while smiling. As you interact in ongoing conversation, make sure your face seems happy.

Unintentionally, some of us have intense looks or sometimes we even look unhappy even when we are not. By consciously choosing to smile when you are around the guy you like, you will be creating a much more positive and inviting presence towards him.

When he feels like you are happy to see him, he will want to see you more often.

4. Choose to Place Yourself Near Him

Naomi said to Ruth, “See, he is winnowing barley tonight at the threshing floor . . . But when he lies down, observe the place where he lies. Then go and uncover his feet and lie down, and he will tell you what to do” (Ruth 3:2-4).  

If you walk into church and there are many open seats but you choose one near this man, he might interpret that as a positive. If you choose to sit at his table in the brake room at work, and if you do that enough times, he will feel like you enjoy being around him. If you join the circle of people talking that he is a part of, he may feel like you want to get know him more.

Sure, he might think nothing of this. Sometimes people are just around us and it’s coincidental. But this act of intentionally placing yourself in his vicinity is a simple way of giving him opportunities to pursue you. It’s a low-risk option. If he doesn’t like you, he will not take advantage of these opportunities you are giving him. No big deal. But if he does like you, he will take advantage of these opportunities.

Either way, it’s a simple way to give yourself a better chance to connect with this man so he will pursue you one day.

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