10 Habits the Bible Warns Will Keep You Single

The way you spend your days will be how you spend your life. While there are certainly moments in life that will determine a great deal, the biggest variable on what happens in your life is not a single moment or decision; rather, it’s the everyday choices you make.

This truth directly relates to whether you remain single or find the person God wants you to marry one day. While singleness is a gift from God for those who are called to it (1 Corinthians 7:7), if you’re called to marriage, you will feel lonely and unfulfilled if you are doing things that are blocking you from meeting your future spouse.

Therefore, in this article, I’m going to apply ten principles found in the Scriptures to show you ten habits that will keep you single.

1. Treating Others How They Treat You

 Matthew 7:12, “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.”

Our natural tendency is to treat others how others treat us. But that’s not what this Scripture commands. Jesus told us to treat others how we would want to be treated.

When we apply this to our topic about habits that keep you single or lead to marriage, we can say that those who make it a habit to treat others how they are treated will often remain single. Why? Because this causes you to blend in with the world. Your godly spouse can’t spot you if you look like everyone else (Matthew 5:46-48). But when you make it a habit to live by the golden rule, you will stick out from the rest.

Additionally, you will be prepared to make the proactive decisions that open the door to a romantic connection. When you treat others how they treat you, you end up being very quiet and disappear into the masses. But when you make it a habit to treat others how you want to be treated, you end up being very open and inviting, which eventually leads to you connecting with another mature Christian living the same way.

2. Living a Routine that Keeps You Isolated from Singles of the Opposite Sex

2 Timothy 2:22, “So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.”

Many people remain single because they get motivated for a few days or weeks out of the year to try to meet someone. They fire up the old online dating profile, give it a shot for a week, get discouraged, and then live in isolation for the next eleven months of the year.

This isn’t effective. Rather, when your regular routine in life allows you to interact with other singles from the opposite sex, this is often how you will finally meet someone. Consistency is way more powerful than a burst of effort.

3. Never Exposing Yourself to Correction

Proverbs 9:8-9, “Do not reprove a scoffer, or he will hate you; reprove a wise man, and he will love you. Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be still wiser; teach a righteous man, and he will increase in learning.”

When you’re not growing, you’re not moving. And staying still in life is a great way to stay single. But when you allow yourself to get corrected by others, you are also allowing yourself to grow. And when you’re growing, you’re giving yourself a much better chance to make the changes in life that need to be made to eventually meet the right person.

4. Giving Your Romantic Energy to the Wrong People

1 Corinthians 15:33, “Do not be deceived: ‘Bad company ruins good morals.’”

Some people are very proactive. But they are investing their energy in the wrong types of people. To meet the person God has for you, you can’t be isolated and afraid to explore romantic possibilities. But you also must be selective. You have to use discernment so you aren’t constantly wasting your time in relationships God can’t bless.

5. Action Without Prayer

Joshua 9:14-15, “So the men took some of their provisions, but did not ask counsel from the Lord. And Joshua made peace with them and made a covenant with them, to let them live, and the leaders of the congregation swore to them.”

Joshua and the Israelites were tricked by the Gibeonites because they were solely relying on wisdom and common sense rather than seeking the Lord’s supernatural guidance. God does want us to be wise. We do need to make decisions and keep moving forward. But if we don’t make a habit of slowing down and asking God in prayer before making the final choice, we will make a lot of unnecessary mistakes that will delay God’s best for us.

6. Prayer Without Action

James 2:17, “So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.”

In contrast to point 5, it’s also just as dangerous to think all you need to do is pray. While prayer is essential if you want anything good from God, Scripture is just as clear that God works with his people in producing his will for them.

Mark 16:20, “And they went out and preached everywhere, while the Lord worked with them and confirmed the message by accompanying signs.”

Prayer must be a habit if you want to be led to the right person. But you must also make it a habit to work with the Lord rather than expecting him to just give you everything without any movement on your end.

7. Ongoing Sexual Sin

John 4:16-18, “Jesus said to her, ‘Go, call your husband, and come here.’ The woman answered him, ‘I have no husband.’ Jesus said to her, ‘You are right in saying, “I have no husband”; for you have had five husbands, and the one you now have is not your husband. What you have said is true.’”

Even though she was with a man right now, she said “I have no husband.” We then learn she has a history of living in sexual sin with many men. This shows us how a habit of sexual sin will keep you from your future wife or husband.

When you are walking in sin with others, you cannot be walking in the light with the person God has for you. Your past sexual sin is not the greatest deterrent to your future sexual purity with a godly spouse. Rather, your current sexual sin is the greatest deterrent. God’s grace is sufficient. But to walk in that grace, you must repent, which means you turn from the habit of walking in darkness and you start the habit of walking in the light.

8. Listening to Bad Bible Teachers

Matthew 16:6, 12, “Jesus said to them, ‘Watch and beware of the leaven of the Pharisees and Sadducees.’ . . . Then they understood that he did not tell them to beware of the leaven of bread, but of the teaching of the Pharisees and Sadducees.”

Galatians 5:9, “A little leaven leavens the whole lump.”

If you never check the word to confirm the validity of what the preacher is saying, you will be misled. When it comes to relationship advice, so many Christian leaders are just sharing their opinion. While the Scriptures are not full of verses about dating, they are full of verses that will lead you to live a godly life in everything, including how you date (2 Timothy 3:16-17).

So listen to teachers, but always defer to the Scriptures first and foremost.

9. Complaining

Philippians 2:14-15, “Do all things without grumbling or disputing, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world . . .”

The truth is, complaining is just unattractive. If you always fill your conversations with complaining, you will be keeping eligible Christian singles away from you. But when your choose to be positive and hopeful, this habit will draw the right person to you.

10. Always Looking for Shortcuts

Proverbs 21:5 (NLT), “Good planning and hard work lead to prosperity, but hasty shortcuts lead to poverty.”

The fact is, everything good in life requires hard work. There are no shortcuts. And when you are constantly looking for a shortcut rather than doing the work, you will never experience the blessing you seek.

This is true when it comes to relationships as well. It’s hard work to meet, date, and marry the person God wants for you. There is no secret shortcut. But when you put in the work, God then has the capability to bless your efforts.

Galatians 6:9 (NLT), “So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.”