The Bible makes clear that Christian men and women are equal and yet are to play different roles in their homes and churches, which is theologically described as complementarianism.
Whether we accept this fact or not, God will judge us according to the way he has made us to be, not according to how we think we should be. This can be seen from the very beginning.
1. God Created Men to Be the Spiritual Leaders in the Home and Church
Notice that in Genesis 2:15-18, God gives Adam a command to lead before Eve is even made:
The LORD God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and keep it. And the LORD God commanded the man, saying, ‘You may surely eat of every tree of the garden, but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die.’
Then the LORD God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.’”
Verse 18 clearly states “Then,” meaning Eve was not yet formed from Adam. Therefore, God obviously expected Adam to lead Eve. He gave Adam the command to teach his whole family because God made Adam the leader. This is what Paul was referring to in 1 Timothy 2:12-14, which reads:
I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet. For Adam was formed first, then Eve; and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor.”
Many claim that Paul’s instructions were simply because those women in the Ephesian church were unqualified to lead. Then they reason that, since women are now educated, Paul’s words no longer apply. The problem with this argument is that Paul grounded this command in creation rather than culture. Paul went back to Adam and Eve, which means God’s call for men to lead spiritually existed from the beginning.
The phrase “Adam was formed first” is a direct reference to the fact that Adam was given God’s command before Eve even existed (Genesis 2:15-18), which is clear evidence that God intended Adam to lead and Eve to follow.
Sin entered the picture when Adam and Eve defied God’s order for the roles in marriage, which is why Paul said, “Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor.” Paul readily discusses the sin of Adam in his teachings (Romans 5:12-21), so he’s obviously not saying Adam was faultless here. Rather, in context, Paul is saying that sin occurred because Eve was leading.
2. Satan Does Not Want Men to Be the Spiritual Leaders in the Home and Church
Notice how Satan usurps God’s design and speaks to Eve rather than Adam. Satan didn’t respect God’s roles for marriage, and he tempted Adam and Eve to also disrespect God’s design. When Eve leads by engaging with Satan while Adam just passively watches and follows her lead, the rest is history (Genesis 3:1-3).
Adam’s leadership failed in at least two ways. First, he passively let Eve lead, for Adam was right there with her (Genesis 3:6). Next, he did not help his wife learn God’s words correctly. Whether he quoted God incorrectly and Eve learned a perverted command that God did not actually say, or whether Adam explained it correctly and Eve just learned it poorly, the fact is that Adam was given the job of transferring truth to his wife, and this mission was not accomplished. God did not say what Eve claimed he said.
God never said, “You shall not eat of the fruit of the tree that is in the midst of the garden, neither shall you touch it, lest you die,” (Genesis 3:3), like Eve said God said. God said nothing about not eating from the tree in the midst of the garden or touching it; he said, “but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die” (Genesis 2:16-17).
There were two trees in the middle of the garden and God only told them not to eat from one of them, “The tree of life was in the midst of the garden, and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil” (Genesis 2:9). They were allowed to eat the tree of life, but God told them specifically not to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Eve was mistaken in her response to Satan.
Therefore, we know God wants men to lead because we see how Satan is always tempting women to lead. Whatever God wants, Satan wants the opposite. Satan treated Eve as the leader. God treated Adam as the leader.
3. God Will Judge Men as the Spiritual Leaders in Their Homes and Churches
God does not alter his ways just because humans don’t like them. He judges us on what he has ordained, whether we believe it’s right or not.
Notice that although Eve was the one who was leading when Satan was tempting, God still holds Adam responsible, “And they heard the sound of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God among the trees of the garden. But the LORD God called to the man and said to him, “Where are you?” (Genesis 3:8-9).
Satan speaks to Eve first, but God speaks to Adam first. Satan speaks to Eve because he wanted her to lead and Adam to follow. But despite Adam and Eve’s willful role reversal, God still speaks first to Adam because God has ordained males to lead their families, whether they do or not.
Just as there were two trees in the middle of the garden, only one of which would bring life, God has presented us with two trees to eat from (obedience and disobedience), but only one produces life.
God made males and females in his image. Both display the glory of God in different ways that complement the other. Therefore, when men do not act as the spiritual leaders and women do not support that leadership, they eat the wrong fruit, and the fall that occurred through Adam and Eve happens all over again in our individual lives.