In today’s article, we’re going to talk about the connection between answered prayer and faith, particularly as it relates to asking God for a spouse.
And make sure you read to the end of the article because I’ve provided a guided prayer that you can follow along with if you want to ask the Lord for a spouse in biblical faith.
1. Faith Doesn’t Write the Checks. Faith Cashes the Checks God Has Written
Throughout the Bible, there is a clear and unmistakable truth that without faith, you can miss many good gifts God wants to give you. For example, in Matthew 17, the disciples were unable to heal a boy from an oppressive Spirit. But then Jesus came and cast it out. In Matthew 17:19-20, it states:
Then the disciples came to Jesus privately and said, ‘Why could we not cast it out?’ He said to them, ‘Because of your little faith. For truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, “Move from here to there,” and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you.’”
Faith is not a master key that unlocks every gift you want from God. Faith cannot be used to force God to give you what you want, like the gift of a spouse. However, a lack of faith can block you from receiving the blessings God wants to give you.
In other words, faith doesn’t conform the will of God into our will. Rather, through faith, our will is conformed into God’s will (Luke 22:42). Faith doesn’t make God follow us. Faith is what empowers us to follow God (Hebrews 11:6-8).
Let’s go back to our story in Matthew 17. We know it was God’s will to deliver this boy because Jesus comes and does just that. So why couldn’t the disciples experience God’s will here? Jesus said it clearly, “Because of your little faith. For truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you.”
Out of context, this passage sounds like faith is a blank check, as though it could be used to get anything you want from God. It’s not. Rather, faith gives us the power to cash the checks God has written. If it’s not God’s will, no amount of faith can make it happen (1 John 5:14). But if it is God’s will, a lack of faith can cause you to miss it (Matthew 13:58).
Faith doesn’t make God give you what you want. Faith positions you to receive what God wants. Just as our salvation is not earned through faith but accessed through faith (Ephesians 2:9-10), so too are all of God’s gifts to us received through faith.
Our faith can’t shape God’s will. But our faith is what is needed to walk in God’s will. He is the one who gives the gifts, but without faith we can’t accept them.
This is so crucial to understand when praying for a spouse.
2. Faith Empowers You to Follow God’s Leading Towards His Good Gifts for You
We can’t make God do anything. Never imagine that the more you beg, the more likely God is to bless you, as though your prayerful repetition were a work that wears God down (Matthew 6:7-8).
Unlike an unjust judge who requires you to nag him until he finally gives you what you want, our God is eager to bless us quickly whenever we ask for things that align with his will for us (Luke 18:5-7). But again, to receive what God wants to give you, you must have faith (Luke 18:8).
An unbiblical application of faith says, “The more I pray, the more spiritual points I’m getting. And if I get enough good points, God will finally give me what I want. I just need to work harder and have more faith.”
Biblical faith, however, says, “I know God is the one who can provide this blessing. It all depends on him! I believe he is powerful enough to do what I can’t do in my own strength. I will follow him and do whatever he calls me to do!”
Unbiblical faith is prideful. Biblical faith is humble (James 4:4, 6).
A lack of faith can lead to passivity because you’re not following God forward. However, a lack of faith can also lead to taking matters into your own hands, as though you have to do everything yourself to get what you want.
Biblical faith will empower you to wait when God wants you to wait (Psalm 27:14) and to walk when God wants you to walk (2 Corinthians 5:7). Both waiting and walking will be required on your journey towards marriage!
3. Faith Positions Your Heart in a Posture that Can Be Blessed
Through faith, as you pray for a spouse, you can come to the Lord with open hands, ready to receive, rather than with closed fists banging on the door.
In all likelihood, if you desire to be married, God has given you this desire (1 Corinthians 7:7). In most cases, our desires reveal God’s design for us. If you long for a loving marriage, this pleases God (Genesis 2:18, Proverbs 18:22, Proverbs 19:14, 1 Corinthians 7:9, Hebrews 13:4), and the Lord loves to satisfy good desires that please him (Psalm 37:4).
To receive the gift of a spouse from God, you need faith. You don’t need faith because it will force God to give you what you want. Rather, you need faith because God will require you to follow him down the paths that will lead you to your future spouse, if that’s God’s will.
Pray for this kind of faith!
Guided Prayer:
Dear Heavenly Father,
I thank you for the gift of faith. I believe that you are good, that you love blessing your children, and that you have a good plan for my life. Thank you for your love for me. Thank you for the ultimate gift of salvation through faith in Jesus. A relationship with you is the best blessing of all!
I confess the ways I’ve tried to misuse faith in the past. I’m sorry for trying to force you to do what I want. I know your plan is better than my plan. I’m also sorry for lacking the faith that you can bless me with the spouse I desire. I’m sorry for aggressively taking matters into my own hands. And I’m also sorry for passively not doing what you have asked me to do.
I pray for the right understanding of biblical faith. Help me to faithfully present my requests to you, asking for the desires of my heart. However, also help me to know your will, to submit to your will, and to follow your will.
I believe my desire for marriage is good. You love marriage, you gave me this desire, and I ask you to fulfill this good desire in your perfect timing. Help me to follow you, including when it comes to relationships.
In Jesus’ mighty name, amen!
