For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me . . . Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. – Psalm 51:3,7
I need you, I know that now
When I left you, my actions made me wonder “how?”
How could I be so stupid, how could I be so brash,
How could I ever think I could survive without you . . . God, I was so rash?
Nothing was clearer than when everything in my life completely broke down,
Nothing makes a man return to you faster than when his face hits the ground.
You humbled me and brought low my pride,
You made me aware that without you nothing good is inside.
I never forget to eat, to breath, to drink, because I know these are things I need,
And now the loving consequences of my rebellion remind me where alone my heart must feed.
Without you I am lost, I am dead, and nothing matters in this life,
I can do nothing good on my own, all I do is quarrel, hate, and make plans on how to fight.
So when I run and begin to think I can survive without you,
Please bring the consequences again, bringing me low, reminding me of what I must always do.
I must seek you, pursue you, and ask for wisdom when I don’t know how,
God I need you, and oh how I know that now.