Do you have a desire for someone that just isn’t going away? But do you also sense this desire is not going to be fulfilled? Are you holding onto a relationship that God doesn’t want for you?
Here are 3 signs that often mean God is saying, “Let them go. I have someone better for you.”
1. If You Fell in Love with the Idea of Someone but This Idea Never Materialized, God Is Often Telling You to Let This Person Go Because He Has Someone Better for You
When I’m using the phrase “someone better for you,” I’m not saying that God has a superior and more valuable person for you than the options you have right now. Rather, I’m simply saying that sometimes two people don’t make a great couple together, thus there can be better and worse matches for you.
This is often what happens when you get your hopes up for someone before you really know them. It’s possible to fall in love with the idea of someone. You write all their qualities on paper and this person seems to have everything you want. The only problem is that relationships don’t occur on paper. They occur face-to-face (Song of Solomon 1:2, Romans 12:9).
Sometimes two people make perfect sense on paper but the reality of their romantic connection is simply off. Sometimes the mismatches and imperfections are needed to create the spark and connection that God has for us.
Whatever the reason, if you and this person just aren’t connecting when you are face-to-face, this is not the person God has for you. When you meet the right person, the variables on paper might not be ideal but the reality of the relationship will be beautiful, authentic, and biblical.
2. If You Need to Change Too Much of Yourself to Be with This Person, This Is a Sign God Is Saying, “Let Them Go. I Have Someone Better for You.”
To make a relationship work, both the man and the woman will need to adapt parts of their life so they can form a new life together. In fact, God even uses romantic relationships to sharpen the dull parts of our character (Proverbs 27:17). So in that sense, a healthy relationship will change you.
But if you need to change your core identity, this is not healthy. If you have to forsake your dreams and goals that you feel the Lord has placed on your heart, this is not good. When you meet the right person, you may need to alter those dreams a bit or make room for other goals that you two can create as a couple. But generally speaking, God will place you with someone that will help you on the road he has you both on rather than completely changing the road he had you on.
There’s certainly a balance here that requires wisdom. You will need to compromise and change some, but the Holy Spirit will let you know when this going too far. God made you who you are on purpose (Psalm 139:13-14).
When he puts you with the right person, you aren’t going to have to change core parts of your identity to make this relationship work.
3. If This Person Is Hurting Rather that Helping Your Connection with God, This Is a Clear Sign God Is Saying, “Let Them Go. I Have Someone Better Out There for You.”
Romantic love between a man and woman is meant to be a great blessing from God. We mustn’t forget that the male-to-female relationship was not an accident by God. When God said, “It is not good for man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18), this was by his design before sin came into the world.
So never feel guilty for wanting a partner. If you have that desire, God gave you that desire (1 Corinthians 7:7). But like all good things, we must always be careful we do not place romantic love on a pedestal, allowing it to compete with our love for God.
In fact, God doesn’t just want you to place him above your romantic partner. God wants you and your romantic partner to be benefitting each other’s relationship with him. In other words, the best benefit to a godly relationship is not the love you will experience between this other human but rather the love you will experience with God in the midst of your relationship with this other person.
God doesn’t just want to be first in your life. He wants to be first in every part of your life. So when God puts you with the right person, you and this person will get to enjoy putting God first together.
This is actually a big theme I unpack in my new book, Christ-Centered Dating: Pursuing a Relationship that Glorifies God. And when you purchase this book, you get access to 5 other books I’ve written along with a private Facebook group where you can meet other Christian singles.
For more information, click here: The Christ-Centered Dating Bonus Material.
