5 Signs God Uses to Warn You About a Soul-Crushing Woman

When I say “a woman is crushing your soul,” I’m not referring to your eternal salvation. Rather, I’m saying your soul, the immaterial parts that make you who you are, is being assaulted and damaged by this woman. Proverbs 18:14, “A man’s spirit will endure sickness, but a crushed spirit who can bear?”

Additionally, sometimes a woman will be soul-crushing in a man’s life because she is evil and is trying to do him harm; but at other times, this woman is just living her life while the man has chosen to idolize her. So in this article, I’ll be talking about both of these aspects – a woman hurting a man’s soul and a man hurting his own soul through his unhealthy interactions towards a woman.

Therefore, here are 5 signs a woman is crushing a man’s soul.

1. If You Have Committed Yourself to a Woman Who Is Quarrelsome and Fretful

Proverbs 21:19, “It is better to live in a desert land than with a quarrelsome and fretful woman.”

To be “quarrelsome” is to possess an ill-natured readiness to fight without good cause. All couples argue from time to time. However, when someone is quarrelsome, they choose to argue even when there’s no reason for it. They take the opposite position of you just to be opposite.

To be “fretful” is to express feelings of distress or irritation. Again, we all get distressed and irritated at times. However, a fretful person doesn’t have a good reason for these negative feelings. Instead of circumstances causing them to feel distress and irritated, they feel this way all the time and thus attach these feelings to any circumstance in their life, thus constantly causing a toxic environment.

Women like this exist. You can’t change that. However, it’s your choice to commit to this type of woman or not. If you’re married, I’m not saying you should divorce. Rather, to the men who are unmarried, the Bible warns them to choose their wife carefully. If you marry a quarrelsome and fretful woman, your soul will be crushed.

2. If You’ve Become So Obsessed with a Woman that You Are Willing to Use Sinful Means to Get Her

As I said in the intro, we will be talking about evil women and bad choices men make which lead to soul-crushing effects. This point is not about evil women. It’s about men who choose to idolize a woman.

Whenever you think a woman is the solution to your deepest problems, you are going to cause yourself more problems. A powerful example of this can be found in 2 Samuel 13 with Amnon and Tamar. Amnon becomes obsessed with Tamar and forcefully violated her. I’m not saying most men are in danger of being tempted to violate a woman like Amon did to Tamar. Rather, I’m pointing out a more general danger that many men do fall into: choosing to use sinful means to get a woman.

If you have to pretend to be someone you’re not, if you need to embrace worldliness for her to like you, if you have to put her before God so she will spend time with you – you are killing your soul.

Idols always disappoint. As 2 Samuel 13:15 states, “Then Amnon hated her with very great hatred, so that the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her. And Amnon said to her, “Get up! Go!” If you reject God for a woman, not only will you mistreat her, but you will become a very empty man.

3. If a Woman Has Her Hooks in You Because of Sexual Sin

Sexual pleasure is a gift from God to husbands and wives. It is meant to be a physical way to express the inner love for each other. However, an evil woman will use her sexuality to control and use you. As Proverbs 7:21-23 explains:

With much seductive speech she persuades him; with her smooth talk she compels him. All at once he follows her, as an ox goes to the slaughter, or as a stag is caught fast till an arrow pierces its liver; as a bird rushes into a snare; he does not know that it will cost him his life.”

While it’s wrong for a woman to use her sexual prowess to control and tempt a man, it is still the man’s choice to allow himself to give into these temptations. Proverbs 6:32, “He who commits adultery lacks sense; he who does it destroys himself.”

4. If You Choose to Trust a Dishonest Woman

As men, we must take radical responsibility for our choices. Yes, a dishonest woman will have to answer before God for her wickedness. And yes, sometimes it is impossible to see the betrayal coming. However, at times, men rush into trouble by choosing to trust women who are showing obvious red flags.

One biblical example of this is Samson and Delilah. Judges 16:18 states, “When Delilah saw that he had told her all his heart, she sent and called the lords of the Philistines, saying, ‘Come up again, for he has told me all his heart.’” Delilah was a wicked woman. However, before Samson told her the secret to his strength, she tried to betray him three times already.

Samson’s soul was crushed because he chose to trust a dishonest woman. He ignored the red flags and reaped the consequences.

5. If You Yoke Yourself with a Woman Who Doesn’t Love Christ

Never think you are the exception when it comes to the warnings in Scripture regarding unequally yoked relationships (2 Corinthians 6:14, 1 Corinthians 15:33 Ephesians 5:7).

Men, we must listen to the Bible and choose our partners wisely. As Proverbs 12:4 states, “An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones.”

You may also like: