Have you ever had that experience where you keep thinking about someone even though you don’t really have a good reason to be thinking about them? Maybe it’s someone from your past, someone you are close friends with but not romantic with, or maybe it’s someone you have a crush on but you don’t know them that well.
Is God ever saying anything to you in your mind through these thoughts you are having about this person? Sometimes our thoughts don’t mean anything. Sometimes they are just a sign that we like this person. But we also should remember that God has given us minds for a purpose. Our minds are where God wants us to reason. In our minds, we often decipher what facts mean. And through this reasoning process, certainly God leads his people in wisdom (James 1:5).
So in this article, I’m not really talking about God just audibly speaking to you in your mind. Rather, I’m talking about properly interpreting your thoughts to help you know what God might be saying to you about this person you are thinking about.
There are primarily three things God may be saying to you through your thoughts about someone. Those three things are yes, no, and you need more information. But how will you know which one God is saying to you through your thoughts?
1. God May Be Saying Yes If Your Thoughts Are Interpreting the Facts About This Person Positively
Maybe you know a Christian at your work and lately you two have really been connecting. When you go home, you replay the interactions you and this person had that day. Perhaps you remember how they alluded to you being someone they enjoy and that they would like to spend more time with you outside of the workplace. These thoughts would be a good sign that God would want you to pursue this more deeply. Through your thinking about this person, you are checking certain boxes: they are a Christian, you two enjoy each other, and you two want to progress further in your relationship.
Another important possibility to consider, however, is God may be saying “yes” but not to the question you are asking. Many times people jump way ahead in their mind and ask, “God, is this person you want me to marry?” God rarely will tell you the 500th step on a relationship journey when you haven’t even taken the first five steps yet. God usually doesn’t do that because then how could you walk by faith (2 Corinthians 5:7, Hebrews 11:1)?
So maybe God is not saying yes to you dating or marrying this person. But through your positive thoughts about this person, God could be telling you “Yes” to some smaller step you need to take first, like talking more to this person, going on a date, or entering into a dating relationship.
Here are more signs God is saying yes: 5 Signs God Is Saying Yes.
2. God May Be Saying No Through Your Negative Thoughts About This Person
Maybe you really liked someone but they hurt you badly. Overtime, you just can’t shake the thoughts about them. You remember the good times you had and wish you were still with this person. But you are hurting since you know they lack the character to be with you in a healthy relationship.
Or maybe you tried to be in a relationship with someone you really liked but they rejected you. They said they really liked you as a friend but they did not see a future with you romantically.
Or maybe you really like someone but they are dating someone else. Now you are confused because you are struggling with jealousy and you aren’t sure if you should wait for them.
In instances like these, I would interpret these types of thoughts as a “No” from God. When there is a reasonable explanation for why a relationship is not going to happen, it’s not a sign of faith for you to believe this relationship will somehow still work out even though there is no evidence for this. Rather, this is more likely a sign you are being stubborn and refusing to submit to the will of God.
When God wants you with someone, the relationship will make sense. You two will both want to be with each other (1 Corinthians 7:36), there won’t be biblical issues keeping you apart (James 1:25), and the circumstances will work out so you two can grow together (Ephesians 1:11). If your thoughts are negative, meaning you are ruminating on all the barriers blocking you from this person, oftentimes these thoughts are evidence God is saying no to this relationship.
Here are more signs God is saying no: 3 Signs God Is Saying No to You.
3. Sometimes Your Thoughts Are a Sign You Need More Information
So far I’ve been talking about thoughts that are focused on tangible evidence. But sometimes our thoughts about someone are not rooted in what has happened but rather in what “could happen” one day. While these types of thoughts are not bad, they are dangerous to try to interpret them one way or the other as far as being a yes or no from God.
Sometimes you have a desire for marriage but you don’t have a person in your life that you could imagine marrying. But our brains like to put faces on our emotions. So sometimes you keep thinking about someone because they are simply a symbolic placeholder for your general desire for marriage. You are thinking about them because there is no one else to think about.
Either way, when you keep thinking about someone that you don’t know that well or you keep thinking about someone who has no idea you like them romantically, sometimes these thoughts simply mean God wants you to pursue more meaningful evidence so you can then use your mind to decipher what God is saying.
Talk to them, spend more time with them, express interest by showing interest, and so on. Then you can use whatever happens to think more about this person and make a biblically wise decision.
Here are 5 steps you can take when you don’t know what God wants you to do: 5 Things to Do When You Don’t Know What God Wants You to Do.
Video Playlist: Christian Advice When You Are Thinking About Someone.
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